Write a caption for this photo os a hitchiker who needs to work on his marketing skills and you can win a copy of Unreal Tournament III for the Xbox 360. Leave your captions in the comments section, as usual.
See last week’s winners after the jump.
Winner:
BlossomEndRot: Does this “3? make me look fat?
Runner Ups:
Vinnie: A new rule for Nascar fans attending this years races: Everyone must shave their IQ somewhere in their body hair.
Darylo: The woman has a 3 shaved where only the unfortunate lower levels can see it
CB: Marsha and Bob are huge #43 fans, but due to the speedways’ decency rule, Marsha had to put her shirt back on.
Duke: It was an eight twenty minutes ago.
KG: Following Wesley Snipes motto, “Always bet on a hairy back
Nick: 3′s a crowd. A hairy, disgusting crowd.
Dave: you think this is cool? you should see my pubes
Logan: Gone but not FURgotten
Youngfed: The 1st EVER “Fro-Back Jersey. Coming to a store near you .However I sure hope not.
Excuse me sir, may I axe you a question? C’mon! Cut me some slack and give me a lift.
“Will murder for food”
No seriously, it’s a can opener.
Got Wood?
Honestly. . . is any explanation really needed for this picture. The guy just wants a ride.
Not only does this guy not have a car, but he also has an axe for a penis.
Blonde drivers goes: Hey look! a Canadian Lumberjack! Lets pick him up !
(Damn you HolyTaco… I JUST bought UT3 for PS3 on Saturday)
“Soon… yes… SOON THE CHICKEN WILL BE DONE!” *evil laughter*
I know that won’t win but it’s the randomest thing I could think of.
“Hey man, could I get a ride? My magical flying axe ran out of mana, and the only Wizard that can fix it lives 10 miles down the road.”
What this? … This is nothing…um,… Dr.’s orders
Trying to hitch a ride on the Grace Hills Baptist Church bus (seen approaching) Mike thought it best to prove that he is an honest, working man.
C’mon, give me a ride. I promise I won’t kill yo….wait…yes, I probably will kill you. Can you give me a ride anyways?
hmm, maybe i should show more leg
“Axe shafts were used as an old form of catheterization until they switched to the present day method in 1980. Apart from sometimes getting stuck, it also hurt like a bitch. This man was catheterized in 1979.”
Bill O’Reilly – The Early Days
hitchhiker: Dammit! I’m never going to get a ride to the party with this Halloween costume….
As part of his initiation this Westboro Baptist Church recruit hitchhikes to a gay chinese US army banquet
No…that is NOT Blood on my ax
who wants unreal 3?
“Hey guys… ever see a severed thumb lying on the side of the highway – *THWACK* – now you have…”
Man your never gonna get picked up looking like that…. You gotta tilt your thumb more.
The axe? No don’t worry I won’t kill you, I just came from an orphanage.
Earl, the Church’s bus driver, was torn. He could be a good Samaritan and pick the hitchhiker up, knowing full well the consequences, or he could drive on by, committing the sin of sloth. Fortunately, the aneurysm answered for him.
“Honk if you love axes!”
“Got wood?”
I’m sure he means well.
Come on honey lets pick him up. What are the chances he’s a REAL axe murder?
What you don’t see is the Bud Lite case sitting next to his feet… in which case this axe wielding hitch hiker is perfectly safe. Just make sure he shares the beer…
HitchHiker “I saw it on a TV commercial – the guys use AXE and the girls go crazy!”
Voices in his head “Idiot… AXE the spray… and if the commercials were true why have you been out here 45 minutes waiting and nothing!?!?”
“FREE CIRCUMCISIONS – Round as my thumb tip!”
It was at that moment that the Brawny Guy realised he should invest in a more reliable car.
Another Hollywood sequel…”The Hitchhikers guide to Compton”
You wouldn’t believe how far the other end of this thing has got me
It kind of looks like Dane Cook – therefore i HOPE he’s saying this……. “Man, I hope someone gives me a ride soon! I can’t wait to meet my friends Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, and a bunch of other pretentious pop culture fucks in the woods and toss an axe around at each other.”
You, It’s What’s for Dinner.
When Bush says he’s cutting gas costs, he’s not kidding.
“Check out this loser with the camera trying to catch a ride. As if he’ll ever get a ride!”
don’t worry the ax is for my wife. My Axe wife that is.
If a hitchhiker with an axe doesnt just scream good idea, then i dunno what does!!
“Hey, thanks for the ride. Oh this? Nothing to worry about, I just like to keep Ol’ Darla handy in case the mood catches me to wax about my preferences of Huey Lewis albums.”
And the only ones smart enough to pick him up were the kids on the short bus..
May they rest in peace.
What turns honest lumberjacks into crazed axe-murderers? No one will give them a ride when their car breaks down.
X-mas tree cutting service this way!
who wants a “battle axe wound”???
that means “pussy” for you guys that never seen one.
“Police issued an APB for a suspect resembling ‘Pee-Wee Herman’ or ‘Mr Rogers’ after interviewing the 11 special needs children riding the short bus that day.”
Ive been hitching for like 3 hours, America is just not like it used to be.
Oh, this little guy? That’s just in case I run into Hilary Clinton and she tries to eat my soul.
Canadian Hitchiking
Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Look honey…that guy is “axing” for a ride!
comon don’t be so suspisious, he seems legit
The shocking thing is, that’s not his hand holding the hatchet….
“but he has bud light”
I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok!
“Im a tool shed anyone need any tools…. Look an Axe…”
“Well time for tacos… Holy Tacos…”
“oh this? this is is nothing, it’s uhh… a flag, i’m a pirate. Wait what? No don’t drive off- goddamn i need a better story.”
Its the knife you need to be worried about…
Go ahead pick me up…I dare you !
Alan likes to whip out his axe in awkward situations.
I wonder if its a coincidence that they show my dad trying to hitch-hike a ride from a short bus?
A bus full of kids, score!
Oh this axe?? Um….I was using it like spoon. Shining it in your eyes to get your attention. I promise ill leave it here, im not going to bring it with me!
That’s my axe boxfriend.
What you don’t know is he is on his way to murder everyone at FOXNews. Don’t worry buddy…I’ve called you a cab.
Do you REALLY think I could swing this thing effectively INSIDE the car?
Axe? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.
This was a gift from my lumberjack father. I take it everywhere with me.
Whoa, I can’t believe you stopped, I thought I was gonna have to throw this into traffic.
This is my best friend, uh.. Jim.
Many Chinese immigrants like, Lo ax Wang, fell on some hard times once the Transcontinental Railroad was completed.
A new way to slash gas price
At $4.50/gal., it’s harder getting around to kill people.
Don’t be a pussy this guy seems legit!!
Ah…what axe? Oh this? Don’t worry about that. I am on my way to a lumber jack competition and my log broke down.
“I don’t get it, I can’t seem to get a ride, and I’m not even black!”
“I need a lift to the TreeHugging Festival, its about 69 miles down this road”
“Let’s not pick him up, he has weird looking thumbs.”
Don’t worry. It’s really dull.
“free axe to whoever picks me up!”
“he gave his bud light to the last guy who picked him up”
looks like someone has a case of the monday’s
Pfft this isn’t an axe, this is my uh… walking stick
Awesome screenshot from Lionsgate’s upcoming adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road.”
I just need a ride to my girlfriend’s house, I found out she was cheating on me. We need to talk things over.
Brother, can you lend me a hand?
12 Bud Lights short of a lift into town.
Hey, let’s pull over and take a picture of an axe-wielding hitch hiker!
“Hey! its Uncle Larry, I wonder when he got out of prison”
Somehow the History Channel’s promotion of “AXMEN”goes wrong…
My name is Dimitri, and I can help you pick up chicks
My name is Dimitri, you look very elegant in that car. I am giving you an opportunity to pick me up. If you opt to drive by instead of picking me up, I am no longer interested.
Wanna give me a ride? i swear it wont end up like that movie saw.
“No man, I was just cutting down some trees.”
“And to your right, is an ax-wielding psychopath.”
Rick’s axe-shaped genitalia interfered with the steering wheel so he was no longer able to drive himself.
Maybe if I hold this axe they won’t stare at my cleft lip.
Dude! Come on pick him up! He’ll be perfect for Saw V!
Shit this isn’t working! I shoulda brought my hoe instead!
I’m not a “hitchhiker” I just juggle these axe for the change.
Please pull over bus full of schoolchildren. Please pull over . . .
It’s not the size of the axe, but how you swing it
I’m a lumber jack and I’m OK. I sleep all night and work all day.
I hate hand me downs. I wish i had my brothers Chainsaw!
Anyone cared give me a ride? Need a break for beer! before cutting down the rest of the Christmas trees!
Thumbs up for cars with lights on, axe up for cars with lights off
Hey Blond haired white women, pull over… I need to AXE you a few questions – OJ Simpson
On their way to a barmitzvah, a busload of 13 year old Jewish boys pick up the man who will performing their circumcisions later in the evening.
Dude, wheres my car?
If they only knew how much candy he had in his pockets.
id pick him up
“gas prices are kickin my axe”
I need a ride to the Lumberjacks’ Convention…no, really I do.
You can trust me, this is my friendly axe.
Man, I’ve been out here so long, I’m hackin’ the shit out of the first person that stops.
“This way to Morty’s Tomahawk shop!”
Give me a ride and I will Slash your gas prices in 1/2!
So thats what happenned to Jason Voorhees.
What the hell is wrong with these people, it’s like the middle of the fucking day and they all have their lights on….
I hope i can make it to the Bates motel before midnight tonight…
Can I AXE you for a ride?
Halloween 2: Evil needs a ride
Throw me a bone…at least I’m trying.
EXTREME HITCHHIKING!
Even the retards in the short bus know a bad idea when they see it.
“C’mon, it’s not like I’m black!
This HitchHACKER is just axing for a ride.
“Hatching a ride”
I just need a ride to that spooky mansion on the hill.
“oh this? its just my uh, seeing eye axe”
Juggalos cant afford cars… seriously help me out
Dude, you think this picture is fucked up enough to get on the Holy Taco Give-a-way Wednesday?
7 Minute Abs!
If anyone remebers the movie There’s Something About Mary
Oh! Com’on people, I need to get to my ex-girlfriend’s house before 5:00pm.
The Shining 2: Jack Moves to a Winnebago
Will chop down your tree for ride!
I’ll leave the axe and bag of lime in the trunk if it will make you feel better.
do you wanna see a dead body?
I asked for a hoe but this is all they had left now im cold and there’s wolves after me
The lost scene from “Into the Wild”
Certainly the drive-by shooting about to happen will be understandable.
“Whooooo’s givin’ Johhny a ride?”
After getting fired from the factory Bill thought he would try out the psycho hitchhiker role. He sucked a that too.
Scene from “Hack to the future”
So I married an axe murderer and all I got was this lousy axe in the following divorce to show for it …she got the car…
Freeway Axit, 1/4 mile
The commerical says the Axe Effect draws women, how come none have come up to me yet?
maybe i should have brought the will split wood for ride sign. its going to be a long day!
“come on, i need to pick up my kids from soccer practice”
“please stop, i can’t help it that my weiner is shaped like an axe!”
After Babe the blue ox was murdered…..paul decided to skip town and avoid any questions!
If you dont want an axe-ident, just keep driving!
Hung Like Axe, Need Ride
It wont hurt much if you stop.
EXTREME CAR HUNTING…..
Sedan = 1 pt
Van = 3 pts
Truck = 5 pts
Van full of old people/special ed. people = priceless
schwing….schwing….schwing…..schwing
Whoever is dumb enough to pick me up is gonna get FUCKED UP!
The Guy in the second car forgot to tie his safety belt.
WILL KILL FOR FOOD.
little do they know its tyra banks dressed as an armed hitch hiker…..to really see what it feels like to be ignored.
this guy is really pointing to the lunatic with a chainsaw further down the road!
A busload of schoolchildren…shoulda brought the chainsaw.
Have you seen my blue ox?
“Going to LA….LA anyone? Wait….Oh no…not one of these psychotic church van groups….”
“I knew I shouldn’t have combined Ambien with alcohol.”
The price of gas left Joe in an awkward predicament.
“Cmon Man! I just need to chop some wood for the steam engine.”
Why isn’t anyone stopping?
Statistically speaking, an axe murderer would be experienced enough to conceal his weapon. Henceforth, this man has no intention of killing anyone… Or he’s an idiot.
1) I…triple-dog-dare you to pick that guy up!
2) “A little help please? I’m missing the casting call for the remake of The Shinning.”
3) Been stuck frozen in that maze for over twenty years, but i finally made it out to an open road, now if i could only catch a ride…
4)I’m coming for you Danny…
At the Woodchuck Local 68 Union, we encourage our brothers to be green and save our fossil fuels. Share a Ride!!
So, long story short, I lost my axe.
And the Partridge Family was never heard from again.
“Where ya headed?” “I wanna where your skin!” “Well alrighty hop on in!”
Aw, man! My first day as a lumberjack and my car breaks down. Momma’s gonna be pissed if I lose this job too!
In the end, it’s hard to tell who had it worse: the busload of fledgling Jehovah’s Witness missionaries who picked up the axe murderer or the axe murderer, trapped with them from Fresno to Monterrey, without so much as a door to slam.
yeah… a lumberjack
can you give me and my midget a ride to the Highland Games?
yes it’s a Gransfors Bruks
Ima hitcher
axe about axe about me
“Hey you got enough room for me and my dead wif…er…laundry?”
I’ll bet if he took off that damn hockey mask someone would stop.
Saddle up partner, you’ve got an honest face….
Patrick Bateman searches I-95 for more people who are into Huey Lewis.
Axe and you shall ride
“Hey, don’t judge me. You’re the ones driving a 2 ton dull axe with headlights…….freaks.”
OH LOOK! There’s a jeep in the background!
can I axe somebody for some help???
Proof that passing out at a party on Brokeback Mountain is enough to make anyone snap.
I’M RICK JAMES BITCH!!!
I just need to get some fire wood….
so this is what joff foxworthy does between appearances
Hip lumberjack approves of traffic. “I give it a thumbs-up,’ says lumberjack.
I don’t understand why nobody stops…I even shaved today!
Car to care salesman – a real mans job.
Don’t Worry I’m a “AxeMan” oh Not The Serial Killer, The One From The Hit T.V. Show …
Hey man thanks for stopping, You ever use an Axe Before?
Thanks for picking me up. I can repay you for the ride, How do you like this Axe?
1.) Thinning the human herd one car load of idiots at a time.
2.) World series of poker contestant decides to take up serial killing and uses his skills of misdirection to his advantage, hoping no one will notice the .45 hanging out of his jacket pocket he decides to hold an axe in plain sight.
With my new disability, and no wheel chair to keep me in the back, I should be able to command the front row seat today………….and everyday!
Seriously, what’s the big deal, it’s just an axe?
What do you mean? This is my walking stick.
Joey proves the thumb works better than the axe.
Oh come on, it is just a bottle opener. What is the harm in walking around with a larger than average bottle opener??
My co-workers are just being funny and left me on the side of the road, could you please give me a ride back to the logging site?? Honestly, I just use the Ax to open my beers with.
I tried AXE body spray but the girls just ignored me, oh well time for plan B.
He just wants to axe for directions. Pick up that motherfucker and let’s rape him.
“Take me Mississippi, gonna take care of this Farve shit myself”
Quote from Aaron Rodgers Dad
Geez……it’s not like I need a ride to another state people. Just take me up the road to the Home Depot so I can return this piece of junk.
Oh my god! Floor it honey, that guy’s got a pocketknife on his belt!
He was suppose to ask people for a ride, not axe people for a ride.
Blue Ball Arkansas’ WAXE FM Traffic Chopper – first on the scene, and he’ll remove your spleen.
Gas prices got so high that many cross-country lumberjacks had find other ways to get around.
Would you mind for a game of thumb wrestling? The rule is simple, the loser loses his thumb.
Why aren’t these guys stopping? Oh, darn it, my thumb is too small.
We sell good axes.
“Nobody will ever notice you have an axe shaped-penis honey.” THANKS MOM!
OR , wait for it, wait for it
Nobody rides for free . . . CASH . . . GRASS . . . or AXE!
Thumbs up, the window is far enough down to brain the retard sitting next to it.
Thumbs down, I throw the axe anyways and hope to get the priest in the backseat molesting the alter boy.
1) I’ve never hitch-hiked before. This is so axe-citing!
OR
2) The commercial says that if I use Axe, then all the girls will be attracted to me. Why isn’t this working?
oooooooh……..is that an old navy jacket???
Wanted: Getaway Car.. Purpose: Axe Murder.. Place: your car