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Give-A-Wednesday: Bigs Sunflower Seeds Giveaway

Sunflower seeds are one of the best snacks on earth.  They’re delicious, you can spit the shells all over the place, and they also prove to birds everywhere that humans are better than they are; not only have we mastered seed-eating like they have, but we’ve figured out how to make it even saltier.  That’s why we’re excited about the excellent Bigs Sunflower Seeds Prize Pack that’s up for grabs in this week’s Give-a-Wednesday Caption Contest:
No, this picture is not photoshopped and you’re reading it correctly: those are bacon-flavored sunflower seeds right there.  To get your grubby paws on this Bigs Sunflower Seeds Prize Pack, all you have to do is provide the best caption for this photo:
Leave your hilarious captions in the comments section below.  Winners will be announced next Wednesday afternoon.  In the meantime, we’ll try really hard not to eat the sunflower seeds we’re supposed to send out. No promises.

151 Responses to "Give-A-Wednesday: Bigs Sunflower Seeds Giveaway"

  1. Anonymoose says:

    You gone get Shrekked.

  2. being original says:


  3. Travis says:

    “what part of OGRE’S HAVE LAYERS dont you understand!”

  4. Hugh Jass says:

    Fine if you’re gonna cry I’ll bring the anal beads back.

  5. DonkeyXote is the new Philosopher says:

    Something similar to this happened at “Itchy and Scratchy Land” a few years ago. You just have to use a camera flash in their eyes. Kills em every time.

  6. Yummy says:

    Singin’ in the rain…

  7. Anonymous2 says:

    This week on Cheaters…

  8. funny says:

    About now is when it became obvious that the new application process at Disney became far too lenient.

  9. Gaskin says:


  10. JGoods says:

    Richard Gere did not put a gerbil in his ass! That man is a saint!

  11. Kuthbert says:

    Holy shit these shrooms are strong.

  12. NokSoCow says:

    this is mah swamp!!!

  13. bigdaddy says:

    So what if I’m on steroids you little bitch! I CHOOSE to work my upper body more!

  14. dachoklitelviz says:

    Who’s yer daddy? I said WHO’S YOUR DADDY BITCH!?

  15. Andy says:


  16. jblaze2316 says:

    Stupid fuckin kids, I’ll kill you.

  17. HT Judge #1 says:


  18. grillz says:


  19. Hong Kong Fuey says:

    How about I just go out and buy my own sunflower seeds! Holy shit lazy taco is lazy!

  20. tidalwave says:

    It’s not rape if you strangle her to death first

  21. AlaNonymous says:

    Like Michael Hutchins and David Carradine before her, Felicia neglected to let the furries know auto-erotic Asphyxiation was best reserved for the hotel closet…..The monkey knew what had to be done later.

  22. trigzter says:

    Where the HELL is Lord Farquaad!!

  23. SomeGirl says:

    My milkshake brings all the boys to ya yard!

  24. Skott says:

    Shrekual assult

  25. T Money says:


  26. Booger says:

    WHOS THE BEE-YATCH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. Smiley says:

    Oh, Shrek! I said “Go find Simon the Ape”, not “Go find someone to rape”!

  28. Sleazy B says:

    I can’t believe you did this to me, and with these two jerkoffs.

  29. ted says:

    See kids……this is how fairytales really end.

  30. cough/cool says:

    This is the worst birthday ever!!!!

  31. Tom Adams says:

    After seeing this picture American Idol Sanjaya didn’t feel so special, turns out that girl will cry for anybody.

  32. Tom Adams says:

    This girl really doesn’t want a green cock in her mouth but Shreks mutant power thinks otherwise

  33. Steve says:

    Donkey told me i needed to find a new ass…

  34. Tristen says:

    Initiation into the Disney gang

  35. Jimmy says:

    Mascot rule #132: Whoever is wearing the Shrek costume has obligations to Thrusting Thirds.

  36. ToothGuy says:


  37. Kirk the Captain says:

    Mickey Corleone says ‘Hello’.

  38. TG says:

    It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets strangled again.

  39. assman says:

    I’ll give you a mascot lawsuit!

  40. TimothyJ says:

    Is Shrek going to have to choke a bitch?

  41. jaytee says:

    up to her neck in shrek.

  42. do says:

    shrek- “This face is going to be the last thing you ever see”

  43. Douchebag says:

    Why day cares need to do background checks

  44. your moms mexican fantasy says:

    “Shrek the third”
    -Deleted scenes-
    *Now Playing: “Artie’s Anal Gangbang”

  45. Fuckin right says:

    Beastiality is a gateway fetish: Jane started with monkeys and lions, but soon found herself expanding to ogres and even talking candelabras(NSFW)

  46. Scott's tot says:

    After last year’s tentacle rape incident, authorities had practically guaranteed Erin that, statistically speaking, she would be safe from future acts of cartoon violence.

  47. yur mom says:

    I told you to give me the lunch money! Don’t make me go all HulkSmash on your ass!

  48. pratik says:

    Pedoforce strikes again.

  49. Other says:


  50. Nymulti says:

    “Preview next season of ‘Ogre Shore’”

  51. TG says:

    Disney, creating weird fetishes 1 child at a time.

  52. Nick says:

    What’s going on OGRE there?!

  53. Johnny Bananas says:

    “No time for the old in-out, love, I’ve just come to read the meter. “

  54. Piker says:

    Shrek , desperate to resurrect his career, was trying to prove the Gorilla’s theory right; if you eat her face, you’ll get on Oprah.

  55. poopyduck says:

    -Dreamworks studio-

    supporting gangrape since 1994

  56. Spaghetti Monster says:

    “Spit out your Stride gum and chew another piece or we’ll find you”

  57. chitownthrilla says:


  58. Uh Oh says:

    The dark backstage of disney on ice gets exposed.

  59. David says:

    NOOO! God-damn it! I wasn’t talking about LAYERS of clothing! It was a metaphor! Ogre’s are very COMPLEX!

  60. TG says:

    And then Lady Gaga just went ape shit on him

  61. The God says:

    Just another normal day at Disney

  62. humper says:

    whoa this is one bad acid trip.

  63. 2Mas says:

    “sunflower seeds? you F$%#%’n serious? Shipping will coasts more!”

  64. TG says:

    Sponsored by advocates against gay marriage.

  65. Melanie says:

    If William S. Burroughs had written ‘Where The Wild Things Are.’

  66. TG says:

    Breaking News: Orphan souls, now a cure for cancer.

  67. Shrek says:


  68. Zatak says:

    Touched by an Ogre.

  69. Claydong says:

    All these mascots can SUCK MY DONG

  70. nisperun says:


  71. Hugh Jassole says:

    Drrraaaaiinnnaaaagggeeee!!!!!! I! Drink! Your! MIKSHAKE!!!!!!

  72. Sean says:

    Must have stolen his eshrektile dysfunction pills.

  73. Sean says:

    Tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono.

  74. Ali is Here says:

    Pedobear’s hired guns are not to be messed with.

  75. Boe Gnar says:

    Why does shrek always get to go first dude it’s always so loose in there after he’s done….

  76. Adam L says:

    Shrek, had had it. He is not f*cking the man on the green beans package…

  77. Adam L says:

    (Oops edit): Shrek had enough… He is not the fucking man on the green beans package.

  78. EvenStarsAreMadeOfDirt says:

    With the recession and all, times are tough.Even Bill had to resort to allowing costumed characters choke him in public for whatever change passer-byes would give him.

  79. Anonymous says:

    Never credit check Shrek

  80. Booger says:


  81. What? says:


  82. Gatoraudi76 says:

    Look you son of a bitch, for the third time, we are not the Banana Splits!

  83. e46m3 says:

    sometimes its better not to know Where the Wild Things Are

  84. PackSnack says:

    I’m gonna make you my donkey

  85. bridger74 says:

    the many faces of rape

  86. Gobias Industries says:

    Wow, James Cameron’s Shrek 3D sure is realistic.

  87. Beefcake says:

    You got a pretty mouth boy. I bet you can squeal like a pig! Weee! Weee!

  88. Epic Shrek Man says:

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  89. Nihilis says:

    Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.

  90. e46m3 says:

    You’re about to see MY green mile little boy…

  91. Anthony says:

    “Next time I come home there WILL be Toad Stew waiting on the table, won’t there bitch?”

  92. Will says:

    Shrek: I said, does Donkey look like a BITCH?
    Terrified passer by: What?
    Shrek: Say what 1 more time motherfucker!!!

  93. Will says:

    Looks like Tony Kornheiser paid a mascot to take out Hannah Storm.

  94. CHILD says:


  95. kevin says:

    Mike Meyers should have really chosen a better disguise for midday rape.

  96. Michael Scarn says:

    Mr. Monkey and Larry the Lion started to seriously regret to agreeing to be Shrek’s look-out.

  97. Michael Scarn says:

    As Billy and Tom watched Frank tackle an unsuspecting bystander into a bank of snow, they started to think Frank wasn’t kidding when he told them that this job was really starting to get to him.

  98. TG says:

    Noah the intern will do anything!

  99. Michael Scarn says:

    Equal Opportunity Employment for people with special needs probably wasn’t the best idea for Disneyland.

  100. peteargriffonsays says:

    better in then out… rite bitch!?

  101. John says:

    You ever been fucked by a one eyed green monster?

  102. Disney Security says:

    Disney Security, spit out the dope!

  103. assfinger says:

    This isn’t a laughing matter to an Ogre, BITCH!

  104. Guitars84 says:

    This is how Shrek’s bachelor party at the zoo ended….Donkey was the best-man, natch!

  105. Justin Beenomat says:

    Hmmm, Bacon, I love it.


  106. GIantmeat says:

    Shrek decides to investigate whether humans have as many layers as he does.

  107. your mind on drugs says:

    Shrek 4: The Sex Offender Registry
    Buy the UNRATED DVD for crazy gangbang action!

  108. Nickhid says:

    Proving that rule 34 is more fact then fiction.

  109. your lord and savior, el diablo gringo says:

    As Shrek choked the life out of the last living patron of amusement park, he screamed “I told you ‘Come the revolution, you’d be up against the wall!’ Who’s up against the wall now!”

  110. your lord and savior, el diablo gringo says:

    Cheek no evil.
    Chin no evil.
    Choke no evil.

  111. Carlos says:

    Black Monkey: “Once Shrek is done injecting you with his green goo, you’ll be able to enjoy other great Mike Myers movies like; Shrek 13, Austin Powers The Revenge of Mini Me and Wayne’s World 3 The Acid Years.”

  112. McD says:

    Finally happily ever after was introduced to good ol’ Crack cocaine

  113. SaintxXxAsh says:


  114. Zyanya says:

    You shouldn’t have called them freaks. They don’t like it.fi

  115. Kefkai says:

    Universal Studios didn’t know quite what to expect when they involved Quentin Tarantino into the making of their new park.

  116. nerd says:

    You got a real pretty mouth. You like pickles?

  117. Other says:

    (dude…dude…mention that “there” is spelled wrong! that would totally show him!)

  118. dayms says:

    Family Guy called, they want their terrible joke back.

  119. sUPERDUD says:

    Hey asshole, you spelled “there” wrong. A bunch of retards called. They want THEIR spelling skills back.

  120. KTFO says:

    The 80′s called, they want there burn back.

  121. sUPERDUD says:

    In Morgan Freeman voice over: “I wish I could tell you that little Johnny fought the good fight, and the furries let him be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew.”

  122. MichaelCorleone says:

    I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart.

  123. kittymuffin says:

    What did you say about my swamp, bitch?

  124. Charles says:


  125. soxfanmiller says:

    “FUCK YOU KID! Shrek the Third was cinematic gold!”

  126. Shrek says:

    Don’t worry. The roofies are kicking in. Those cartoon characters are all in your mind… all in your mind…this is just a dream.

  127. Charles says:

    “I gotta have my fix you sonvabitch”, “open your mouth, OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!”

  128. Charles says:

    “let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?”

  129. Fumblefingers says:

    But WHY?! Why of all people did you have to sleep with the F’ing donkey?!

  130. Fumblefingers says:

    I got enough to worry about getting whacked on the street! I gotta come home for this! I should fucking kill you!

  131. nerd says:

    Donkey has never even been to Tijuana. How dare you!

  132. Glennboy says:

    “Damn it Amanda, snap out of it! Hendrix is warming up and we’re gonna lose our spot!….oh, Man…I think she got some of the flat blue acid…Crap!”

  133. office jerk says:


  134. WillSmithCirca1995 says:

    Sochi 2014 mascots somehow manage to top Pedobear’s inclusion in Vancouver 2010 in mindfucking creepiness

  135. Cats & Waffles says:

    As furrys take it to a new level.

  136. GashPirate says:


  137. Walrus Pimp Of The Sea says:

    “I dare you to say again that my princess looks like Cameron Diaz.”

  138. tubacca123 says:

    Shrek says, “Wheres my money, bitch?!”

  139. dayms says:

    HMO dentistry

  140. Pedobear says:

    I have friends!

  141. Amanda Hugginkiss says:

    Once you go black you never go back? HA…wait till you go green

  142. standbyyourvan89 says:

    It was then that Kayla had realized that the mushrooms turned on her…

  143. Hunter says:

    Is Shrek gonna have to choke a bitch? I think he is, he is gonna have to choke a bitch.

  144. leged19 says:

    Is Shrek gonna have to choke a bitch?!

  145. DREADY says:

    “BITCH!!! Wheres my money?”

  146. Master HOBrFINCl says:

    Because nothing that awesome will ever happen to you again.

  147. Smiley says:

    You BASTARD! Better out than in, I always say! NOT YOU! I!!!!

  148. Meckr23k says:

    when Shrek found out it wasnt his…..Shrek 4(Sancha hunting)

  149. MrBowser says:

    I said were like onions not turnips you ignorant asshole!

  150. John Holmes says:

    You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked!

  151. TG says:

    Michael Moore proving a point that she’s not a hooker till she’s dead.