Sunflower seeds are one of the best snacks on earth. They’re delicious, you can spit the shells all over the place, and they also prove to
birds everywhere that humans are better than they are; not only have we mastered seed-eating like they have, but we’ve figured out how to make it even
saltier. That’s why we’re excited about the excellent
Bigs Sunflower Seeds Prize Pack that’s up for grabs in this week’s Give-a-Wednesday Caption Contest:
No, this picture is not photoshopped and you’re reading it correctly: those are bacon-flavored sunflower seeds right there. To get your grubby paws on this Bigs Sunflower Seeds Prize Pack, all you have to do is provide the best caption for this photo:
Leave your hilarious captions in the comments section below. Winners will be announced next Wednesday afternoon. In the meantime, we’ll try really hard not to eat the sunflower seeds we’re supposed to send out. No promises.
You gone get Shrekked.
WATCH OUT OR I’LL EAT YOUR FACE
“what part of OGRE’S HAVE LAYERS dont you understand!”
Fine if you’re gonna cry I’ll bring the anal beads back.
Something similar to this happened at “Itchy and Scratchy Land” a few years ago. You just have to use a camera flash in their eyes. Kills em every time.
Singin’ in the rain…
This week on Cheaters…
About now is when it became obvious that the new application process at Disney became far too lenient.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONT WITH DONKEHH!!”
Richard Gere did not put a gerbil in his ass! That man is a saint!
Holy shit these shrooms are strong.
this is mah swamp!!!
So what if I’m on steroids you little bitch! I CHOOSE to work my upper body more!
Who’s yer daddy? I said WHO’S YOUR DADDY BITCH!?
Rape.
Stupid fuckin kids, I’ll kill you.
win
YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON’T EAT YOUR MEAT!
How about I just go out and buy my own sunflower seeds! Holy shit lazy taco is lazy!
It’s not rape if you strangle her to death first
Like Michael Hutchins and David Carradine before her, Felicia neglected to let the furries know auto-erotic Asphyxiation was best reserved for the hotel closet…..The monkey knew what had to be done later.
Where the HELL is Lord Farquaad!!
My milkshake brings all the boys to ya yard!
Shrekual assult
GET IN MY BELLY!!!
WHOS THE BEE-YATCH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, Shrek! I said “Go find Simon the Ape”, not “Go find someone to rape”!
Hmmm, Bacon, I love it.
Jes
http://www.anonymous-web.es.tc
Shrek decides to investigate whether humans have as many layers as he does.
I SAID SWALLOW, BITCH!
Look you son of a bitch, for the third time, we are not the Banana Splits!
sometimes its better not to know Where the Wild Things Are
I’m gonna make you my donkey
the many faces of rape
Wow, James Cameron’s Shrek 3D sure is realistic.
You got a pretty mouth boy. I bet you can squeal like a pig! Weee! Weee!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.
You’re about to see MY green mile little boy…
“Next time I come home there WILL be Toad Stew waiting on the table, won’t there bitch?”
Shrek: I said, does Donkey look like a BITCH?
Terrified passer by: What?
Shrek: Say what 1 more time motherfucker!!!
Looks like Tony Kornheiser paid a mascot to take out Hannah Storm.
SHREK WILL KILL A BITCH FOR BACON FLAVORED SUNFLOWER SEEDS!!!
Mike Meyers should have really chosen a better disguise for midday rape.
Mr. Monkey and Larry the Lion started to seriously regret to agreeing to be Shrek’s look-out.
As Billy and Tom watched Frank tackle an unsuspecting bystander into a bank of snow, they started to think Frank wasn’t kidding when he told them that this job was really starting to get to him.
Noah the intern will do anything!
Equal Opportunity Employment for people with special needs probably wasn’t the best idea for Disneyland.
better in then out… rite bitch!?
You ever been fucked by a one eyed green monster?
Disney Security, spit out the dope!
This isn’t a laughing matter to an Ogre, BITCH!
This is how Shrek’s bachelor party at the zoo ended….Donkey was the best-man, natch!
Sochi 2014 mascots somehow manage to top Pedobear’s inclusion in Vancouver 2010 in mindfucking creepiness
As furrys take it to a new level.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOLD EVERYONE I HAVE WARTS ON MY DICK”
“I dare you to say again that my princess looks like Cameron Diaz.”
Shrek says, “Wheres my money, bitch?!”
HMO dentistry
I have friends!
Once you go black you never go back? HA…wait till you go green
It was then that Kayla had realized that the mushrooms turned on her…
Is Shrek gonna have to choke a bitch? I think he is, he is gonna have to choke a bitch.
Is Shrek gonna have to choke a bitch?!
“BITCH!!! Wheres my money?”
AWESOME
Because nothing that awesome will ever happen to you again.
You BASTARD! Better out than in, I always say! NOT YOU! I!!!!
when Shrek found out it wasnt his…..Shrek 4(Sancha hunting)
In Morgan Freeman voice over: “I wish I could tell you that little Johnny fought the good fight, and the furries let him be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew.”
Family Guy called, they want their terrible joke back.
The 80′s called, they want there burn back.
(dude…dude…mention that “there” is spelled wrong! that would totally show him!)
Hey asshole, you spelled “there” wrong. A bunch of retards called. They want THEIR spelling skills back.
I said were like onions not turnips you ignorant asshole!
You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked!
Michael Moore proving a point that she’s not a hooker till she’s dead.
“Preview next season of ‘Ogre Shore’”
Disney, creating weird fetishes 1 child at a time.
What’s going on OGRE there?!
“No time for the old in-out, love, I’ve just come to read the meter. “
Shrek , desperate to resurrect his career, was trying to prove the Gorilla’s theory right; if you eat her face, you’ll get on Oprah.
I can’t believe you did this to me, and with these two jerkoffs.
See kids……this is how fairytales really end.
This is the worst birthday ever!!!!
After seeing this picture American Idol Sanjaya didn’t feel so special, turns out that girl will cry for anybody.
This girl really doesn’t want a green cock in her mouth but Shreks mutant power thinks otherwise
Donkey told me i needed to find a new ass…
Initiation into the Disney gang
Mascot rule #132: Whoever is wearing the Shrek costume has obligations to Thrusting Thirds.
TELL ME WHERE FARQUAAD IS HIDING.
Mickey Corleone says ‘Hello’.
It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets strangled again.
I’ll give you a mascot lawsuit!
Is Shrek going to have to choke a bitch?
up to her neck in shrek.
shrek- “This face is going to be the last thing you ever see”
Why day cares need to do background checks
“Shrek the third”
-Deleted scenes-
*Now Playing: “Artie’s Anal Gangbang”
Beastiality is a gateway fetish: Jane started with monkeys and lions, but soon found herself expanding to ogres and even talking candelabras(NSFW)
After last year’s tentacle rape incident, authorities had practically guaranteed Erin that, statistically speaking, she would be safe from future acts of cartoon violence.
I told you to give me the lunch money! Don’t make me go all HulkSmash on your ass!
Pedoforce strikes again.
Yes.
Shrek 4: The Sex Offender Registry
Buy the UNRATED DVD for crazy gangbang action!
Proving that rule 34 is more fact then fiction.
As Shrek choked the life out of the last living patron of amusement park, he screamed “I told you ‘Come the revolution, you’d be up against the wall!’ Who’s up against the wall now!”
Cheek no evil.
Chin no evil.
Choke no evil.
Black Monkey: “Once Shrek is done injecting you with his green goo, you’ll be able to enjoy other great Mike Myers movies like; Shrek 13, Austin Powers The Revenge of Mini Me and Wayne’s World 3 The Acid Years.”
Finally happily ever after was introduced to good ol’ Crack cocaine
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?
You shouldn’t have called them freaks. They don’t like it.fi
Universal Studios didn’t know quite what to expect when they involved Quentin Tarantino into the making of their new park.
You got a real pretty mouth. You like pickles?
What did you say about my swamp, bitch?
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH FOR ALL 3 !?!?”
“FUCK YOU KID! Shrek the Third was cinematic gold!”
Don’t worry. The roofies are kicking in. Those cartoon characters are all in your mind… all in your mind…this is just a dream.
“I gotta have my fix you sonvabitch”, “open your mouth, OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!”
“let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?”
But WHY?! Why of all people did you have to sleep with the F’ing donkey?!
I got enough to worry about getting whacked on the street! I gotta come home for this! I should fucking kill you!
Donkey has never even been to Tijuana. How dare you!
“Damn it Amanda, snap out of it! Hendrix is warming up and we’re gonna lose our spot!….oh, Man…I think she got some of the flat blue acid…Crap!”
win
Sponsored by advocates against gay marriage.
If William S. Burroughs had written ‘Where The Wild Things Are.’
ONIONS HAVE LAYERS!!
Touched by an Ogre.
All these mascots can SUCK MY DONG
THIS…..IS…..DISNEY!!!!!!!!!
Drrraaaaiinnnaaaagggeeee!!!!!! I! Drink! Your! MIKSHAKE!!!!!!
Must have stolen his eshrektile dysfunction pills.
Tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono tono.
Pedobear’s hired guns are not to be messed with.
Why does shrek always get to go first dude it’s always so loose in there after he’s done….
Shrek, had had it. He is not f*cking the man on the green beans package…
(Oops edit): Shrek had enough… He is not the fucking man on the green beans package.
Never credit check Shrek
SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YOU!!!! NO I DOUBLE DARE YOU!!!!!!!
-Dreamworks studio-
supporting gangrape since 1994
“I SAID LAYERS! LIKE A FUCKING ONION!
The dark backstage of disney on ice gets exposed.
And then Lady Gaga just went ape shit on him
Just another normal day at Disney
whoa this is one bad acid trip.
“sunflower seeds? you F$%#%’n serious? Shipping will coasts more!”
Breaking News: Orphan souls, now a cure for cancer.
With the recession and all, times are tough.Even Bill had to resort to allowing costumed characters choke him in public for whatever change passer-byes would give him.
“Spit out your Stride gum and chew another piece or we’ll find you”
NOOO! God-damn it! I wasn’t talking about LAYERS of clothing! It was a metaphor! Ogre’s are very COMPLEX!
I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart.