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Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
The Hottie Index
This is what inspired the douchebag selling the Supra with pictures of his Transvestite Girlfriend!
circa a couple days ago.
” *Hickyuk* This here truck says ‘can’t touch this’ hunny, but it doesn’t say anythin’ I cant fuck this. Why don’t you get a picture of me and Earl Jr here fuckin’ these trucks together.”
“How Peter North got discovered”
My trucks is bigger, but his penis is…
When you’re like these two men with one normal arm and a pick up truck for the other, putting your clothes on can be tricky.
Ta-da!
How lewis and clark uncovered america
Hank loses narrowly to Lance in the “Looks most like his own car when naked contest”
In this tight economy car salesmen are going the extra mile to catch potential customers eyes.
Bobby Earl and Jimmy Ray wanted to come out of the closet and this was the gayest thing they could think of.
Dayum it, Bucky. Take dat dere hat off. Yer makin’ us look ridiculous.
Ya juss dont understand youall werent there. I was sooo cool back then just good buddys and great trucks.
right before the invisible klan members ran over a couple homos
Ricky’s WAXHAMMER: “Strong enough for a Ford, but made for your taint.”
C’mon dads you’re embarrassing me
The original set for MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This Video” until he got there in parachute pants and saw this. Maybe it would’ve propelled his career instead of ending up in the shitter.
Uncle Rico looks at what his life would have been if coach would have just put him in.
We Like ribbed condoms. Better traction in the mud.
You know how I know you’re gay…
Hey there Bobby Ray, why don’t you come check my oil, and then I’ll check yours
Couldn’t touch this, even if you wanted to.
-OK Clem, I think them exhaust pipes have cooled down now, let’s try it again.
Crud Cletus, you mean this ain’t the M.C. Hammer video shoot and I done gone and got my truck spruced up for it?
And you wonder why it took so long for the automakers to fail with ads like this.
Runner up for worse album cover ever…. The Redneck CB Boys, “Buff my Grill” … of course the winner was Michael Jackson’s best hits album entitled: “Let’s watch Billy Jean Beat It”
I think i know who’s is bigger……. Truck that is…. truck you homos
If this doesn’t take it, you got gehd
This comment had better win. LOL
I was reading through these and chuckling…until this one.
I just sat there and laughed till I cried.
My ribs hurt.
I love this one!
It’s not the size of the man in the truck, it’s the size of the truck in the man … that’s Ford Tough!
Newest Hit Reality show: Which one of these two men will be the first to complete their attempt to assassinate Barack Obama? Stay tuned Are you smarter than a 5th grader is next on FOX.
Is this gay? You should need the pictures from last night.
Tanning beds….. Not just for Suburban white women, college chicks, and people from New Jersey anymore.
“Here we see the difference between Redneck and Hillbilly.”
Someone is Clearly Compensating!
FORD =
Fucking Old Redneck Douchebags
“If you’ve ever given your wife a Christmas present of you and your brother naked in front of your Truck……..You might be a Redneck!”
“I thought you said if I stuck my penis in the grill of my truck that it would cure the herpies”
I think we are early for the Obama rally.
Tuesdays on ABC: The Dukes of Bunghole County
Fear Our Redneck Debauchery
stupid is as stupid does
Smokey and the Butt Bandit
Biloxi 911:
Epic Gay.
I can’t quit you…. You’re built just so Ford tough….
Don’t mess with the corn feds….we’ll 4 wheel ya!
And yet both of these men voted against Prop 8.
Looks like someone needs a new Peterbuilt.
“One of these men does not want to be touched.”
“There’s living on the edge. Then there’s living on the edge with your best friend, who is also living on the edge.”
“Kenny and Roger were looking for new ways to attract people to their MySpace page.”
“Sean and Jayden, 2025″
The South will Rise Again!…after a sandwhich
Dude…I’m telling you, once we upload this picture to eharmony we are gettin fuckin’ LAID!
Bluecollar brokeback mountain
PSA: You can spend alot of money on your truck, but please leave enough left over to buy back your dignity.
Gay Men Muddin!!
A vote for Prop 8 is a vote against Zeek & Derryl’s Gay Off-Roaders Club.
…and on the seventh day, god created stroker ace and it was fucking BADASS.
…later on the seventh day, god created the thin line between machismo and flagrant homosexuality.
“Dangit, Mike. If you ain’t gon’ commit a hundred and ten percent this ain’t ne’er gon’ work! Now take off that dang hat – you look like a fool!”
Buy Kid Rock’s newest album “Boyz in tha Wood” on December 9
Apparently, in the “Gay 4-Wheeling subculture,” size DOES matter…
Everything is really is sweeter in Alabama.
“It’s only gay if we take off our shades boy.”
Kg
As Tom and Joe wait for a new mission, you here them say “THIS IS MY WEAPON THIS IS FOR FUN!!”
We’d like to ” Pump you up ” !
We got our muddin outfits and and we are ready to dig in for a rough ride!
This is where the mudden’ ends and the beasten’ begins.
Built Ford Fabuloouussss!
Quick, snap the goldarn picture so we can beline it back to our mopeds!
Ford… Chevy… FORD… CHEVY… Well, Lets oil up and wrestle for it again.
It’s pig squealing time!!
I think we found the missing link…
Toyota Billboard:
“Buy American FagBoy”
i hope he doesn’t see how small my dick is….
First get ya a 4″ lift, a bumper, some KC Lites, then walk around wearing only Hawaiian Tropic bronzing lotion, with luck in 3 years you’ll look like me.
Be sure we’re in focus and you get both of our trucks in the frame, Mom.
I hope you got a big garage, cuz i’m parkin my truck in it!
Alas, their membership for the Man Card was complete.
Let the ladies decide..
In accordance with the Bug Guard’s instructions…
Don’t want to touch that
What “The Thinker” would be if Auguste Rodin was born in Alabama.
Oakleys! Because UV rays are not to be reckoned with!
and the winner of the 2008 fist-fuck pose off is….”Can’t Touch This”
Dammit Glen! Would you lose the hat?!? We’re trying to do a professional photo shoot here!!
“What do you call a gay man’s balls? Mudflaps.”
Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin’ right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We’re talkin’ some fu-ckin’ muscle.
Redneck Foreplay:
“Now Earl, you gonna be my bitch you need to work on that there tan. I like my meat white but you is too white. If I were to chase you in my truck on a nice moon-lit night with the KC’s shinning you’d be glowing like Casper. Now where is the fun in that? After all, it’s the hunt that really gets me going!!”
You think these sunglasses make us look gay?
Thanks EHarmony!
don’t worry…we so got this.
Bob and Neil posing for “Back hills fun”.
check out my ass…built ford tough. can’t touch this bitches.
A successful mudden trip:
1. A couple of bad ass trucks – $20,000.00
2. A bad ass bug guard that says, “Can’t Touch This” – $150.00
3. A bad ass tube of lube – Priceless!!
Sarah Palin’s security team sweeps the area.
Public Service Announcement # 57:
Don’t go into the woods alone.
“Can’t touch this, unless you are my friend over here.”
“If you stare long enough, you just might hear the sound of fail.”
It was supposed to say “Can’t Touch Tits”
Hey wait a dern minute Billy Bob Jenkins, Whats this got to do with changing a flat?
“Yeah you came to check out the wheels, but you just got 2 free tickets to the gun show little lady.”
I thought this was the Welcome to Arkansas sign.
If your a crazy nudist and still think its 1984 there is a Ford truck for you!
billy needed a second person for the photo to send this with his job application for Calvin Klein and something to jack off to
Gay Car and Driver never became the success everyone dreamed of.
It was at this point that Tom finally realized that Ken wasn’t compensating for anything
Autobot KC Hammer never thought his life would turn out this way…cocaine’s a hell of a drug.
Thanks eHarmony!
Bro-Moment
your truck may be bigger but my tail pipe is tighter.
“This is going to get us so many chicks”
“I still don’t get how”
“Dude, trust me”
Gives a whole new meaning to tail gate party.
Stop. Hammer time!
Gunther & Klaus: German muscle vs. American muscle
“Welcome to Arkansas”
“…and all this could be yours; if the price is right!”
Can’t Touch This? Thank Fu***** God!!!
Gay 4×4 Club… “You’re guaranteed to get mud on something!”
Alright Jim we’re naked and there are no women for miles…FINALLY.
What you think about when you need to get rid of a random boner before a presentation.
definition of a DOUCHEBAG………see photo above
-Bro, does this truck make my ass look fat?
-Don’t be a fag bro.
“Hey man I got a great idea. Let’s pose naked and show off our man muscles in front of our new trucks!”
“Why naked?”
“So I… I mean chicks can see your muscles.”
“You shure that won’t make us look…GAY?”
“Nawww…”
“And here is a picture your Dad and Me on our Wedding Night
“This is what happens when you drive a Ford
“Gus and Frank finally overcame their shyness
“A failed attempt at gay camouflage
-but man if i lost the bet why are you getting naked?
-i think the real question on everyones mind is why are you wearing that hat with those shade
“Come on now Chauncey, (spit’s with a spittoon ringing sound) Its my turn to get a picture of my jerk off arm”
Mines bigger than yours.
Mines bigger than yours.
Thats something you don’t see everyday
Blame Obama.
The male response to the Vagina monologues.
I’d hate to see the guy who drove the Miata!
And I thought I was gay.
UNITARDS ACTIVATE!!!! Forms of “Gay rednecks”
Kid Rock family reunion.
Skidmarks were later found at the crime scene.
The exact moment when God regretted making humankind.
“Just before they were greased up for the annual redneck pig-catch”
Achy Breaky Heart
Here we are at the official weigh-in, a day before the big race.
Tune in tomorrow, where I’ll be giving the blow-by-blow analysis of the big event.
Muscle cars or Muscle Trucks
I’ts shrinkage, I swear !
“Can’t Touch This” is redneck for “Please, Please God Let Somebody (Other Than Cousin Betty Again) Touch This”.
wonder which one took it in the tail pipe?
Another situation stuffing a sock in your pants to impress the ladies doesn’t work.
Proposition 8 any questions?
Why???
YET ANOTHER REASON THE 80′S SUCKED
…and that is how you really use the exhaust pipe
Spears Family Reunion, 1985
These guys put the “muscle” in muscle cars…and by “muscle ” I mean gay.
Jerry soon proved that, despite signs to the contrary, one could indeed touch that.
Confederate Nudist Colony: All the guns, all the grass, all the hemi’s, all the ass. Come flex with us!
Confederate Nudist Colony: Flex the guns, smoke the grass, rev the hemi’s, ram the ass. Come flex with us!
What could we possibly have to compensate for?
“I can’t seem to find my balls, how about you Jimbo?”
Before his mysterious death, it was actually Randy’s little brother, Keith Johnson, who was actually known as the Big Unit.
After this failed experiment in cloning the rednecks gave up and decided to go back to inbreeding.
Caption for truck pic: Got small dick?
Chose your words carefully Persian.
-”Hey Randall three words, “One hour Photos”.
HAMBURGER HELPER
Meth lab success stories
Casual Friday at the West Virginia YMCA
Campaign poster for President and Vice President if the South would have won.
Life had taken the twins down different paths, but once a year, when the summer sun was hot and bright, they would return to the lake, and rekindle a shared love of nude truck photos.
Nothing could change that.
The fabled doucheious autophious or “car douche” seen in photo in its natural state;greased, naked and overtly homo erotic. If you ever find yourself cornored by said car douche throw a van of ax body spray to distract it and run.
HOGANS RULE!!!!!
Photo Op from Hogan family reunion
Someone tell DJ GAGE he isn’t funny… and the lettering on front of his truck is corny…
Boy Larry I guess I could get used to this “change” thing
WAIT!!! WAIT!!! You’re sure you got my sunglass cords??
Dude the hat is so gay
After pumpkin lattes they both got naked and polished the chrome on their bumpers.
No one in The South understands words with more than 3 syllables…and ‘Auto-Erotic’ has 5.
Can’t touch this? Wouldn’t want to.
I never did like the redneck version of Terminator: Silverado
My south will rise again! I mean… The South will Rise Again…
Dude… did the truck just queef?
Have you driven a douchebag lately?
this isn’t nam smokey….we have rules here.
this isn’t nam smokey….we have rules here.
Dude!!! Mine’s bigger!!! Uh, I meant my truck, whut were you thinkin???
It was all fun and games until Jimmy realized he forgot the “Hammer Pants”
All Buddy ever wanted was to be more like Jimmy…HE had everything bigger and better…
The one with the mullet on the left clearly wins this gayness contest. The queer on the left is just his bitch.
Napoleon’s gonna be so jealous when he sees that Uncle Rico agreed to be in my cage fighter shoot
Discovery channels failed brainstorm for new shows.
“Dude, why can’t we ever wash our car, in the woods, naked, alone, on a bright sunny day?”
“Brokeback Mountain 2-Off Road Extreme!”
Activision almost went with this box art for “Call of Duty World At War”,but switched at the last moment.
“TMZ……..Everywhere.”
“TMZ……..Everywhere.”
“Hurry up Cledis, after this I have to have pick up my tickets for Twilight.”
Black and White has really captured the moment.
Redneck Zombies -”Truck……….wash truuuuuck!”
“I need your clothes, ”Your clothes,
your boots…” give them to me, now!”
This is the straightest, most non-gay image Clay Aiken can think of.
Protect your vehicle with Naked Redneck Protection, that’s Allstate’s stand. Are you in good hands?
This is the last time Ed Norton agreeds to be in a Kid Rock video.
The original Ford Flex.
The “other” Ford Modeling Agency.
Hey your uncles are moving in with us but the good news….I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico
Big boys have big toys.
A before and after of the gay autobots. Optimus Prime thought it was fabulous.
With the election now over, Dick Cheney and George Bush retreated to Camp David for a much a needed vacation.
“DUDE! You left the hat on? Now anyone that sees this is gonna think we’re two fruits!”
One Big Ford— $4,000 , One Little Ford— $2,000 , Drinking Beer With Friends— $50 , Capturing It All On Camera———- PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After many years of trying, Billy Bob and his brother finally won the Boys of NASCAR calender cover contest
Before they were famous.. Jose Canseco & Mark McGwire
Myyyy…milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…your damn right its….hey! hey!!! quit copying me Tommy, your truck is small and inadequate!! You’ll get you turn!!!
When you see it you will shit bricks.
It’s not gay if we dont make eye contact.
Roger quietly smiled. He had proven his theory that the size of the pickup is inversely proportional to the package.
You going to the barbeque?
Which barbeque?
WHEN I SLAP MY MEAT ACROSS YO GRILL…literally.
I’ll bet my bumper jack can lift higher than yours can!
Pictured (Left to Right): Big Gay Al, Garrison…
Closets are for Clothes
Sperminator 3: Rise of the Rednecks
Deliverance 2: Redneck Boogaloo
Drinkin’ Antifreeze is Totally Bad Ass!!!
This is what inspired Justin Timberlake to write ‘Sexy Back’
This gives double wide a whole new meaning.
Dude, I like money too. We should hang out.
So wrong, on so many levels…
the one of many photos used for the next redneck womens calender!
They took our jobs!!!!
It wasn’t until they were already attached, that Bill and Jim realized dragging their trucks a hundred yards using only their “third legs” probably wasn’t the best idea.
Dad?
The Butt-Sex series, by Ford Motors
…because when you’re built Ford tough, you fuck Ford tough.
Gaydar: The Gay Escort Service’s newest package: The backwoods in the backdoor package
Can’t Touch This ? I’m sure they touch each other !!
Can’t Touch This ! Oh, that just applies to the truck, anything else fill free !!
We are not gay, however the guy taking the picture is as queer as a three dollar bill !!
Poor Bruce and Chad were so focused on snapping the perfect photo for their “sunglasses and head wear only” charity calendar that they failed to realize that their homophobic autos were about to commit some serious hate crimes.
And the Winners for this year’s Man vs. Truck look-a-like contest….Bubba-Joe and Clyde!
This is EXACTLY what Alan Jackson meant when he sang “Crazy ‘Bout a Ford Truck”.
Really?…… Really?
The gay chapter of Ford Truck Enthusiasts 1973.
Dude, where’s my dignity?
TURN DOWN THE SUCK KNOB
Babe, unless you got more than 3 teeth, you can’t touch this…
Oh, I meant to call AAA, not gAAAy!!!
“Will you marry me?”
“NO! Will you marry ME?!”
“Come on, Doug, you said I could ask! Let me have this one thing, my truck is smaller than yours”
I can’t stop laughing long enough to write somthing for this
Excuse me sir, can I see some I.D.?….Uh nevermind.
I feel like I’m forgetting somthing..
It’s only gay if your balls touch.
Yeah, thats a little late in the game for macho pretence…..
….and the winner of Best Porn Based-Off-of-a-Popular-TV-Show goes to ….DICKS OF HAZZARD
“Trust me Bobby, chicks love this shit”
The “This is why you never buy used” campaign went on to save the American auto industry.
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
buttlickautos….special color cordianted passengers with any ford
Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior when they were teenagers
“Can’t Touch this”
That’s good, I don’t want to.
“Dude, where’s my dignity?”
“I like you dude. My other friends say I’m pathetic.”
which one is the catcher???
kc foglights and the sunshine band
Big trucks, naked hicks, careful guys…your West Virginia is showing…
Gone Muddin’ Featuring Chuck Knobby, and Greg Loosanus.
Hey Mike, Think we can rejoin the Gay Pride Truckers Drive after Billy gets this Snap ?
You should’ve seen what they were doing with the tail pipes earlier.
“Fuckin Yagger Bombs, Fuckin Yagger Bombs, Fuckin Yagger Bombs!”
A photo response to the age old question. “What’s gayer than a rainbow dressed in assless chaps having anal sex with a unicorn?”
“You might be a redneck If Brokeback Mountain inspired you to rub your naked crotch against your truck’s grill with your best friend!”
We Support PETA!!!!
Torque wrenches and screwdrivers aren’t the only tools that work on trucks.
RAMMED TOUGH!!!