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‘dude did you just pull that black flashlight out of your ass?’
this will probably be the most obscure pop culture reference ever.
“Steel isn’t strong: flesh is stronger”
After much deliberation and sobbing, the roommates decided it would be best to let their little ol’ Lennie Small go in the most humane way they could think of: distracting him with his favorite flashlight before shooting him in the back of the head.
ssss ya I’m here for the Lemon Party…
Hey, look for our vaginas while you’re poking around down there!
Thanks to the snake infestation, Barack Obamas Guantanamo Bay detainee prison camp received only a 4 out of 5 star hotel rating.
The budget for Tremors 5 ran out shortly after buying those two bottled waters.
If this doesn’t work I’m getting the flame-thrower…
While vacationing in Egypt, Comrade Vladimir and Comrade Ivan deal with a snake the only way one knows how to deal with anything back in old country.
“Well CHRIST, Jimmy! I don’t KNOW how it got there! And I KNOW it messes up our Abu Ghraib roleplay!”
Did that just fall out of my ass?
No! This is a two-snake party!
What the Bible doesn’t tell you about the Garden of Eden:
the evil snake was a miniature…
Eve was really Evan…
and both humans were just big pussies in underwear.
Dude…That fell out of where?!?
The snake came out of WHAT?
You hid the gun WHERE?
Put the gun down and help me find my contact lens…
That’s right… easy does it now. Just drop my favorite black dildo and maybe I won’t kill your snake.
Stop! You’re making Rambo cry.
“…and that, children, was the last time Charlie bought Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts an eight ball.”
Quick! blind it with the light while I shoot it!
The Pilot for Bear Gryllis’ new show, “Man vs. homoerotic pillow and comforter sets”
“I’ll blind it… get a better angle and shoot it in the dick.”
In Soviet Russia, snake sleeps you!.
“Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfu**in snakes in this motherfu**in shelter!”
Crap, it slipped out and knocked over the lube! Shoot it!
That’s a good one.
I’ll grab the lemon juice squirt gun! It works on dogs, so it should work on this little bugger!
“I knew you put too much lube…It shouldn’t pop out like that”
Would you send the game to Turkey? If you would, my caption is:
“Snakes are afraid of light, right?”
if that mag light and snake aren’t in your person in 30 seconds i’m gunna shoot!
winner right there
At that moment, Carl vowed to never again eat a moving burrito
Even the snake felt that the bed was just too fucking uncomfortable
Okay buddy, I don’t want to ruined my sex torch light toy. Shoot it when my toy blind him.
alright after i beat him in to submission with the flash light, you cap his snake ass for effect
Dave! did you take a shit when I wasen’t lookin’!?
Nah man my shit ain’t got teef.
Just because you go camping, doesn’t mean you’re still not gay.
Buttplug Rape Snake: Keeping sleepovers just sleepovers
You should always be careful when trying to strangle the snake
Sometimes it bites back
Why hallucinogens should be reserved for the young.
Life is hard for a trouser snake with no trousers.
Happy snake is no longer happy.
Sam was sure that after tonight Bill would never call him crazy for sleeping with a gun under his pillow again….and if he did, he’d just shoot Bill in the fucking face.
Straight to DVD sequel of “Snake on a Place”.
They died what the loved doing.
Frank had a hard time aiming at the snake, he just couldn’t stop staring at Jerry’s fabulous man-boobs.
Oh yeeeaaahhh… they’re real!
I wanted to touch the snake in your pants…..not a real one!
Wakey Wakey hands off Snakey
Satan never stood a chance against Jeb’s Kel-Tec P3AT .380 Auto-Pistol (“Mess with my slumber will ya..”).
Quick! While I’ve got it distracted – Lube it up with that KY!
your the ass that gave eve the apple.
Yo Yo yO! yall muther fuckin snake is a cOP! Ice dat mutha fack coP snake!
Bitch…the ad said you do anal!
Everyone chill the fuck out, we don’t have to watch Waterworld!
Here we see Steve Buscemi doing research for his new movie “Snakes Like My Veins.”
no no wait…i saw this on fuckeduphandjobs.com.
i put it through here like this and you get under the bed and…whoa…put the gun down Bill….
Behold, the flashlight that not only projects light from the opposite end but also magically follows snakes.
On next week’s all new episode of 24 Jack comes face to face the terrorist and their new secret weapon . . . . gay snakes and the men that love them.
…And that’s how Cobra Commander got his name.
The Martians’ plans to breed snakes and humans takes another step backward.
The much less-anticipated sequel, “Snakes In A Wigwam”.
When old people try to renact jackass.
Fuck Man! did you see the size of that thing! looked like a fucking Valosa Raptor!
fail.
Put down the gun, I got it…Whoa!! WTF are you two doing in bed togther?
is that pauly shore or andy dick
Why’d it have to be snakes?
I’ll flash it while you blow it.
The gun too weak to kill the snake. I’ll kill it with the light from this flashlight!
It was at this point the two men realized club med wasn’t all it was cracked up to be
Jesus You wont let me on planes I though I could live in this shit hole in piece!!!
Clevah girl.
“Jesus Christ, What does it want?”
“I thought you said reenacting Snakes on a plane was going to be fun.”
This is when Bob started to think that maybe this wasn’t the fetish for him.
Cake? Why would I ask you to shoot the cake? Shoot the SNAKE, stupid!
Yes you, gringo snake, get back into tequila!
call Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, they know what to do.
Another night ruined by ereptile dysfunction.
5 Stars for the low budget “Anacondas 5: Dinner with the Branch Davidians”
A lingering sense of sadness came into his heart as he pointed the flashlight and realized: “My favorite holiday is almost over”.
nevermind the snake, who brings a dildo and a gun on a missions trip?
Don’t. Move.
It’s vision is based on movement.
Chuck, an enthusiastic journalist working abroad, requisitioned the local chieftain for a “Snakelight”. Unaware of the literal translation implied, he is seen here, immediately regretting his decision.
you couldnt just bring the donkey ..you had to add the snake….i hate you!
I swear to Christ, Larry – if this photo ends up on the internet…
Dude, I’m telling you the condom is still inside.
Screw that; I’m going to kill you socks! Those nasty things are moving too!!!
quick, kill it, it smells the gerbil!
I just now realized that I misspelled every comment I made. BRB as I go slap my 1st grade teacher in the face.
Suddenly the phrase ” i gotta snake man ” took on a whole new meaning.
Bob’s snake-charming days came to an abrupt end when he realized he was kind of a fag when they got loose.
A guy wearing panties, An Asshat with a Gun and snake all in a small room, you know someone is gonna end up with a bullet in their ass and it proly wont be the snake.
you guard the powerade I’ll smack it with the dildo
I don’t know man, the snake is not supposed to come out of your ass.
You know you are in a wierd situation when the LEAST WEIRD thing is the carpet on the walls…
Hard to tell what they’re more afraid of: the snake or the ugly-ass blanket.
This is your camera on drugs…
Hisssssssss-terical!!!
There is a Snake on my Boot!
…and there is another one heading to my man boobs!
Okay already, I’ll pet your damn snake!
“okay, so i’ll move around on this bed in my underwear – as to attract the snake, and you shoot it.”
The Crocodile Hunter never used to abuse over-the-counter pharmasuticals.
“The crocodiles dimwitted brother, Dwight Irwin”
To be fair, Steve Irwin was losing his touch before his untimely death.
Bobby Jindal gets ready for his next speech.
“that’s not what I thought you meant when you said you were going to unleash your trouser snake!!!”
hahahaha
“the crocodile hunter’s dimwitted brother, dwight”
No Mr. Bond, I expect you TO DIE!
Bill had had enough of Bobby’s trouser snake
The true story that “Indiana Jones” was based on is much less inspiring.
What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hisssssy-fit!
Hide the lube!!!
Survival tip #12: When you find yourself in a room with half naked men, it’s always a good idea to keep your snake put away.
A behind the scenes look at the making of the new Indiana Jones movie.
As Cleetus aimed at the snake, he noticed how clean Jim Bob’s socks were. He was quite smitten.
If I’d know it was going to be this kinda party I’da stuck my snake in the mashed potatoes.
I’m tired of these little fuckers trying to hide in my covers.
Funny shit right there m8.
“He must smell the gerbils shoot him”
“You know Jim, You really need to start using sunblock.”
Don’t Worry! I’ll throw my gun at it if it tries something funny!
And suddenly all the romance is gone.
This Photo smells, just looking at it.
Snakes have now replaced terrorists on America’s list of global threats.
I TOLD you we know how to fucking PARTY!!
this one should sooo be a photoshop contest.
DIDN’T YOU SEE JURASSIC PARK? TURN OFF THE LIGHT!!!
(and if you want to see my website, it is http://www.alcoLOLics.com)
Here lizard, lizard ,lizard. I’ve got something special for you.
“worse honeymoon ever, Steve.”
“OH S#!T, IT ATE MY LEFT LEG! GET THE F@#^$ING GUN!”
Man! I knew I should’ve checked my bags before I left the airport!
Really, nobody dropped an “Outtake from Friday the 13th (1980)” here? Hacks.
A funny thing to do is,your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you’re going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who’s going to go get help. he will start crying. That’s why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
Trust me Bob, I learned this in Cub Scouts.
Quick, use the snake to catch the hamster that ran out of your ass before I have to shoot it! You know how long it took us to find a perfect sized hamster…
Well, let’s see there are three basic types of winning comments: 1. The kiss ass reference to the host site, 2. The dead horse comment (Thanks E-harmony was funny the first 100 times I read it. 3. and stupid shit. So I’m going to cover all the bases this time.
1. Here we see Holy Taco staff playing musical cots with a twist. 2. Something something something, these guys are gay. 3. After instinctively grabbing the most readily available weapon Bill realized he would now have to explain the 12″ black dildo hidden in his pillowcase.
Shoot that huge worm dude!Shoot!
Sleep in that speedo one more time and its your snake that’s gonna get capped.
When a man sees something longer than his penis, this is what his initial reaction is in his mind.
“Who put these motherfuckin snakes in my motherfuckin bong?”
Early gameplay for Cabela’s Dangerous Hunts
And how the fuck would YOU deal with a pair of haunted shoes?
” Yo hay im gonna bite yall. Oh no yall gon die if i bite yall. You know what im not gonna bite yall, thats my choice. Yall aint worth it.”
for reference imagine it in this voice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgbiCHU-fis
The winning captions aren’t even funny.
I agree. There were much better captions for the MS 13 guy and the Fag.
Wait don’t shoot it we might be able to send it up to get the gerbils out…
The origins of the Roswell conspiracy involved a lot less aliens and a lot more drugs and snakes.
When Pentecostals come out of the closet . . . . dicks get shot off.
“Okay, either if it bites the flashlight or my face, YOU PULL THE TRIGGER!
The sequel to Trainspotting didn’t quite live up to its predecessor.