One time my cousin brought her boyfriend over for dinner with my family and while we were eating, my dog came up to the window in front of the table and started licking itself, until it blew a load all over it’s own face. I shit you not. No one saw this but me, and my cousin’s new boyfriend, who then turned to me, as if I had a response for that. Anyway, I’m pretty sure at that point the police could have come and arrested my dog, because that shit was inappropriate. But they didn’t, because it’s a dog. So it’s just a tad bit surprising that police went ahead and arrested a goat for armed robbery.
Reuters reports:
Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.
Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.
That is completely ridiculous. NO ONE would steal a Mazda 323. I wonder if after they arrested the goat, they took it into an interrogation room and one cop was like "Okay, I’m going to play good cop, you play bad cop." Then the good cop walked in and he was like "Listen, you hungry? I have a couple tin cans and pieces of clothing in the back. I’d really like to give them to you, but I just need you to cooperate." Then the bad cop came in, hurled a piece of goat cheese at it and started screaming "WHERE’S THE 323?! WHERE IS IT!"
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
Whoever the writer is, thank you. I’ve missed this type of post.
“blew a load all over it’s own face”
Lern hau two speling
Only in Africa!!!
f’n awesome
lol this is some of the best writing I have ever read. Im actually laughing out loud. Keep it coming.
Mazda humor at it’s finest.
talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Where’s John Cleese with a catapult when you need him?
Are you kidding?
Put the money in the baaaaaaaag.
Oh my lord, the dog did what? Anyway, I’m surprised the robber didn’t turn into something more useful than a goat. A cheetah or worm maybe.
who farted?