Explore Holy Taco

Great Failures From the Past: Devil Comes Back to Georgia

The Devil’s humiliating defeat at the hands of Johnny, the world’s greatest fiddle player, was one that ate at him for years. Not only was it a low point in his evil career, but he didn’t even get a good song written about it. No, he had to settle for “Devil Went Down to Georgia,” by Charlie Daniels, a fat backwoods neckbeard known more for out Fox Newsing Fox News than any song he ever wrote.

Maybe knowing that’s his legacy is why the Devil returned ten years later, in a tale immortalized with “Devil Comes Back to Georgia.” Yep, ol’ Charlie wrote a sequel. And it might be the laziest song ever recorded. Why? Because it’s the EXACT SAME SONG as its prequel.

The chords are the same. The tempo is the same. Shit, even the fiddle solos are the same! And, as you probably imagined, the story is the same: Satan wants Johnny’s soul, and so he challenges him to a fiddle contest. Again. And just to REALLY make it the same damn story told twice, Satan steals his golden fiddle back and forces Johnny to play on the old beat-up model he saved his soul with the first time. That’s like the Joker forcing Batman to put down his new smartphone-powered batarangs and fight him using only his fists.

The closest thing we get to drama is when Johnny admits that he hadn’t played in awhile because he has a wife and kid. Because that’s what you do when you’re better at your art than literally everybody on Earth: you stop because diapees are now a thing in your life. But Johnny’s not supposed to be smart, he supposed to be awesome at fiddling. And of course, he still is. Practice be damned, he schools Satan just like before, and saves his soul. He also displays the magical power to grow a mustache mid-song, in a sadly-unexplored subplot.

The #1 reason to never fiddle: it will turn you into Jeff Foxworthy.

There was literally no point to the song whatsoever. At least when Wile E. Coyote kept losing to the Roadrunner, he did so with a new plan each go-round. This song is what would’ve happened if he kept chasing that bird with the same pair of high-powered roller skates that sends him careening over a cliff every time. Nothing changed from Part I to Part II and we learned nothing, except that Johnny found himself a lady at some point and they got busy. But then, he’s a kick-ass musician. No shit he’d land a groupie.

Literally the only bright spot in this song is Johnny Cash narrating throughout. The story still sucks, but Cash made it suck slightly less, simply by being Cash. The hellfire and brimstone-style mugging he did throughout the video certainly didn’t hurt, though it sadly didn’t help either.

I hurt myself today, though after making people sit through this, I probably deserved it.

Comments Closed

0 Responses to "Great Failures From the Past: Devil Comes Back to Georgia"