Explore Holy Taco

Guessing The 11 Redacted Words From The Pentagon Papers

Here’s a history lesson for you: in 1971 a man by the name of Daniel Ellsberg leaked a series of documents now famously referred to as the Pentagon Papers. The Pentagon Papers were published on the front page of the New York Times in 1971 and they detailed how four presidential administrations had systematically lied to the American public and to congress about the role of the United States during the Vietnam War. The documents caused a big stir, everyone was pissed, and the U.S. learned its lesson and we never fought another war ever again. Ever.

This coming Monday, June 13th, the Pentagon Papers will finally be released to the public for full review, so that we may be able to retroactively despise four presidential administrations worth of corrupt war-mongering, pathologically lying assholes. Every single dirty little fact that was presented in the documents will be right there for everyone to read – except one sentence made up of 11 words. That was the federal government originally planned to do, at least. They’ve since changed their stance and have confirmed that those too-scary-for-everyone-to-read words will be on full display.

The question remains, what will those 11 words about? What secret message did the government want to shield us from? Gee, I wonder if we’re going to present you with a series of possible answers?

“In short, the Vietnamese are a bunch of goddamned cannibal ninjas.”

“The slanted, squinted eyes of Asians make them better sharpshooters.”

“While the war is bloody, the Vietnamese whores are quite exquisite.”

“Must not let public know there’s no war, just special effects.”

“For fun, let’s black out some words to fuck with people.”

“Richard Nixon robs banks while wearing a Nixon rubber Halloween mask.”

“So, it turns out Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.”

“Carnivorous robots were complete failure; ate too many civilians – baby civilians.”

“It’d be cool if people needed decoder glasses to read this.”

“Soylent green production moving ahead as planned; product needs salt, people.”

[A demonic incantation that, if read either out loud or mentally, would bring out the biblical apocalypse]

0 Responses to "Guessing The 11 Redacted Words From The Pentagon Papers"