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Guest Column: In Defense of Roman Polanski

Writer. Director. Holocaust Survivor. Child Rapist.
These are all titles that can be accurately bestowed upon one of my oldest and dearest friends, Roman Polanski, most notable for directing a number of incredible films, including Rosemary’s Baby and Chinatown, and only one of those two movies is about raping a child.  As you may have heard, Roman was recently re-arrested for the same thing he was arrested for in 1977: rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, commiting a lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor (because he drugged the living shit out of that kid).  Basically, it was a pedo-blitzkrieg.  In the world of pedophilia, Roman is a hero.  If raping kids was Rock n’ Roll, Roman would be all four of the Beatles combined.  If all of us kid-f*ckers had our own country, Roman would be our Thomas Jefferson.  First, let’s start with a little background info, just so everyone’s caught up:
Roman and I have been best friends since 1977, when Roman forcefully raped a 13-year old girl at Jack Nicholson’s house.  He invited the girl over to Jack Nicholson’s house to participate in a photo shoot for Vogue, which was totally legit, btw.  Roman’s not one of those weird sexual deviants who lies to kids about things, like saying, "I have a whole bunch of puppies in my van", and then when you get there it’s just a dirty matress, some handcuffs, and a bottle of Jergen’s.  If Roman tells a kid he’s got a van full of puppies, I can guarantee you that he will rape that kid in a van full of the cutest f*cking puppies you’ve ever seen.

Anyway, while they were taking pictures, he fed the girl champagne, quaaludes, and some kind of sedative, because that’s the kind of guy he is; he’s a gentleman.  He’s gonna get you nice and numb before he rapes and sodomizes you against your will. Good move, Romie. The girl was apparently telling Roman things like "No" and "Stop" the whole time, but because she was so shitfaced from being force-fed drugs and alcohol, it probably came out more like "Numflkdggh" and "Stlmpfghh", so it’s really not Roman’s fault for not picking up on the cues.
Anyway, Roman was initially charged with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, commiting a lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor, but he decided to plead guilty to one charge of engaging in unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.  But then some a-hole lawyer or something was like "Wait a minute.  He f*ckin’ raped a kid!  We can’t just let him off like that!"  What a d-bag, right?  Anyway, they started talking about putting Roman in jail for a long time, and Roman, being the epic badass that he is, was like, "F*ck this noise!" and he went off to Europe, where raping children against their will is much more socially acceptable.
Here’s what’s important to remember:  Roman Polanski is European, okay?  And in Europe, you don’t send your kid over to Jack Nicholson’s house to take suggestive photographs with a world-reknowned playboy who’s known for sex and drugs unless you’re planning on your kid getting drugged, raped, and sodomized.  That’s just common sense.  Also, Roman’s pregnant wife, Sharon Tate, was brutally murdered by the Manson family just 8 years before this whole "raping a kid" thing went down.  I’d have to look up the exact numbers, but I’m pretty sure that having your pregnant wife get brutally murdered by the Manson family buys you at least 10 years of "that guy can do whatever the f*ck he wants to do" freedom, right?
In closing, is raping kids really such a bad thing?  I don’t think so, and I’m probably the world’s leading authority on pedophilia and raping and sodomizing children, so I think I would know best.  That’s why I’m fighting to keep Roman out of prison. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think Roman Polanski should get off (pun intended).  I think he should have to do some community service, and what better community service is there for a convicted child-rapist that three years of janitorial duty at the Xavier School for Underaged Sex Addicts, located in Beautiful Miami, Florida!  Seriously, he’s a Holocaust survivor.  Isn’t that the least we could do for him?

48 Responses to "Guest Column: In Defense of Roman Polanski"

  1. The guy above me is an idiot. says:

    you are an idiot and you have contradicted yourself. you said that americans melted the skin off of arabs, yet, you also state you hate arabs and “fuck the iraqis” so why the fuck do you care?

    furthermore, roman polanski raped a 13 year old girl so he should go to jail.

    you ever hear the saying “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time”.

    I have nothing against Jewish people but I have a huge thing against ingnorance. You have a closed mind. it’s a shame that not much will get in there other than what you are spoon fed. You are an everything hater apparently; it’s people with such staunch positions as yourself, why we will never be one community on this planet. thanks for spreading your idiocracy and lack of intelligence. we are all dumber now.

  2. Bope says:

    Can i just say…………you’re all not so bright and i mean, really not so bright, how some comments morphed into religious and racial banging i don’t really know, i guess it’s only not so bright people like you who can make such f**king redundant arguments. Polanski is above the law, not because its right or wrong or blah blah blah but because he’s got the money and friends to be above the law. That shit happened such a long fucking time ago and after going through what he did is enough to cause some problems. There’s so much other major shit going on and so many of you feel the need to go crazy over this and condemn and judge and trial and blah blah that it doesn’t make a difference. You think you telling Polanski on Holy taco to go to hell and get fire hydrant raped is going to make you feel better and tell the world how caring and blah blah blah you are. The article was great, pretty funny on a lot of points. To those who can’t seem to live their own lives, well ummmm ya…….

  3. Leah says:

    It seriously scares me that there are people out there who take their hatred for this man and his crime and spend their time creating things like this. That Sharon Tate photo? Utterly tasteless, and yes, completely unfunny. Just yesterday I read a poem on Nation about what an evil sick man Polanski is and feminists were all giggling about it – oh Hatred! it’s so much fun to Hate – what a hoot!

    I started out hoping that the guy gets extradited. Thanks to such vitriol and IMMENSE, overly self-righteous people out there, my eyes have been opened to what a witch-hunt this all has become. Polanski and Geimer have agreed to settle out of the court which failed them both so badly. Geimer wants the charges dropped not because she has forgiven him, but because she dreaded the media circus that affected her far more than what Polanski did. And would you look at that – it’s happening all over again.

  4. Apfelbaum says:

    sharon tate pic went too far.

  5. :] says:

    wow jewish guy. i didn’t know that there could be someone so stupid. you keep contradicting yourself and your so filled with hate and yet you bag on other groups of people that may have the same feelings as you. your so stupid it must hurt. how you think is the reason why there will always be war, murder, and destruction. i hope you’re happy that you have no idea about whats going on in the world and yet you feel the need to comment about it. good job.

  6. Heidi Fleiss says:

    “What goes into 13 twice? Roman Polanksi… ”


    HA HA HA!

    I just got it. Just got it now.

  7. Coroner says:

    seriously wtf?

  8. Barkley's Beer Bong says:

    Let me clear some things up for you all: just like committing murder, there is no statute of limitations in this country for the rape of a minor.

    Even if the victim has forgiven him, the law hasn’t forgotten and they really don’t care what the victim thinks or says, the law runs this show.

    From what I heard, the reason he got caught this time is because he filed court papers wanting to drop the charges against him because the Los Angeles District Attorney didn’t care about it anymore and wasn’t really trying to hunt him down. Big misktake little man! Someone in the department read the comments and made it their mission to nail this little fucking tard. And I’m glad they did! This piece of shit has to go down and hard!!!

  9. aPlateOfGrapes says:

    Hope this piece of shit spends a few years in prison before he gets murdered.

    Also, agree the Sharon Tate photo was too much.

  10. Kyle says:

    This is disgusting…there is nothing funny about raping a 13 year old girl no matter who you are…epic fail holy taco..I think this may be my last visit

  11. Coroner says:

    does anyone find it a little creepy that sharon tate owned the same type of dog as pictured in this article?

  12. LordCaedus says:

    first of all, you are all fucking retarded. you live with this system, you accept the system, and when the system fails, you must accept the results. he was tried and served. it should be done and overwith. its too bad he didnt serve life in prison, but we just cant go around retrying people just because we didnt like the results the first time.

  13. Michael Bay's Cock Milk says:

    Just to clear things up, I did say “Stop” and “No”, but it was only when he tried to stick it in my ass. Other than that, Roman was very gentle (probably due to having such a small dick). Or maybe it was the drugs… I don’t know. Most people don’t know that Nicholson joined in later on and he and Roman used me like a pair of Chinese fingercuffs.

  14. The Mighty Feklahr says:

    *incoming subspace transmission*

    The Mighty Feklahr approves of this article. Besides, we all know “Roman” is just short for “Romulan”, which makes him a traitor coddling pedo-baktag!


    *end transmission*

  15. jewish guy says:

    for the last time, roman polanski does not deserve to go to jail

    he suffered a lot during the holocaust, his wife also got killed

    and dont forget the fact that he is jewish, your own bible says jews are gods chosen people, and besides us jews contributed a lot to the US, we are the worlds smartest people

    roman polanski made a simple mistake

    look at you americans and your mistake, you kill arabs like flies, hell you treated iraqis worse than slaughtered sheep, where is the outrage against america?

    you americans dropped bombs on iraqis which melted their skin of

    so fuck you americans, roman polanski just raped a girl, didnt murder her\

    you people made me repeat my post

    and one more thing……..JEWS RULE

  16. The Conscience says:

    I can’t believe people like “mandy” and those who agree with her such as the Jewish guy who keeps posting one here. When you are talking about a man who raped a child, the sentence “he should be a free man” and “he should be left alone” do not apply. Step back for a second, try your best to realize the justice system and Roman’s previous misfortunes have no relevance here, and think about what the 13 year old girl had to endure. Now consider the memories she has had to live with ever since. HER life has been forever changed, not his. Running from justice all these years does not equal time served. No punishment can give back what he took from that girl. Rapists should get the f#cking death penalty so they don’t have the chance to destroy the lives of other children, and people who have sympathy for the Roman Polanski’s of the world can take a seat in hell right next to him. By the way amanda, what would you have said to the little girl? something like “look sweety i know he did a bad thing but he did survive the holocaust and his wife was murdered so what do ya say we call it even and put this behind us. One day i bet you look back on this silly mess and laugh”? And people like Erin shouldn’t pass the buck on to the mom and think that is a reason polanski should be free. It doesn’t matter who’s to blame the mom can burn too. I don’t even care if the victim has forgiven him, there should never be any chance for someone to be a repeat offender. If a rapist wants redemption let that be between him and whoever comes after his black soul after he gets a lethal injection.

  17. Anonymoose says:

    What goes into 13 twice?

    Roman Polanksi…Finally i get to use that stupid fucking joke.

  18. jewish guy's DAD says:

    Son, we’re Muslim not Jewish. Now eat your bacon and ham porkburger like a good shaheed.


  19. EGON says:

    why would you hold on to such a great joke, i,m glad you shared.

    whats the best part about having sex with 27 year olds?…… there are 20 of them.

  20. jewish guy says:

    very funny

    and yes i really am a jew who isnt afraid of his heritage

    we jews will no longer be kicked around anymore

    a muslim?……yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

    muslims are nothing but sand niggers

    and no i am not a racist, i just dont like arabs

    by the way go fuck yourself, you are probably a moooooslim, lol

  21. jewish guy says:

    and fuck the iraqis, i dont care about them, i was just making a point about america

    fuck the arabs and christians and all other jew haters

    long live israel

  22. Erin says:

    I know alot of stupid feminists out there who want his to rot in jail, I think he should be free. Also I was talking about this with someone at work yesterday and the girls mother consented to the drugging and pictures of her child. So if any of you people want to blame someone blame her mom. Her mom’s the fucking cunt whore who allowed this to happen. Also the girl grew up is married and has forgiven him. She said she wants the charges dropped.
    The picture of dead Sharon Tate will give me nightmares to come, that was more distasteful then Polanski raping that girl. Way to go HT.

  23. nerd says:

    Why don’t you go take a nice hot german shower? I really have nothing against the jews, but not many holocaust survivors had to go on a raping spree to get over their troubles. And one of the main reasons we went into Iraq was to try to create a more stable environment for Israel (which most of us didn’t want anyways), so how about a thank you, jackass?

  24. Finnegan says:

    I loled @ Jewish Guy: “I’m not a racist but I hate niggers, muslims, christians… and it’s not his fault that he raped the girl, it was the Germans, cause they put him in a Concentration Camp… blah blah.

    You’re the kind of idiot that makes everyone in the world hate Israel, because it always comes down to religion & holocaust with you.
    You Israeli nationalists and orthodox suckers are’nt the slightest bit better than those all other religious fanatics around this nice litte blue ball of ours…
    There are a lot of Israelis that behave just like fucking Nazis !
    Well I guess you learned from the best…

    Well at least we agree that Polanski shouldn’t have to go to Jail anymore. He apologized, she forgave him and her mother is a cunt.

    But he still is a rapist !!!

  25. whatchootalkinabout says:

    what does being jewish have to do with anything? what if Polanski raped YOUR 13 year old daughter/niece/son/nephew, etc, would you think it was OK, just because he had a hard life? By that same logic, should a black man be able to rape a 13 year old because he experienced slavery? do you believe in perpetuating misery?

    stop playing the jew card….polanski deserves to go to jail….

  26. Not that funny says:

    Read the article that the LAist put together, its way funnier than this.


  27. Steve says:

    It’s a fine line between satire and down right offensiveness, and this walks it beautifully. It’s good to see a website actually taking a chance and writing original, funny things that aren’t just “10 amazing toy makers (that are secretly trying to take over the world.)” This is what I come to Holy Taco for; stuff that’s going to shock the shit out of me, and be hilarious. Well done, gentleman.

  28. â–²nonymous says:

    Its not all that original, pedobear is a well established character. It is funny as hell use of him though.

  29. Hungry says:

    why would you pray to something that doesn’t exist?

  30. Pedrobear says:

    Loled at this,to the guy above-get a fucking life(pray to God for one)

  31. garth says:

    happy international blasphemy day, jesus-fucker!

  32. peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee dick says:

    thats how black people get away with everything

  33. mandy says:

    i think he should be left alone. i mean, there’s no questioning what he did was wrong, but the way the legal system has gone after the guy all these years has been a joke. He already served time in jail for this offense if you look into the history. anyways, after the way our justice system has fucked this up, he should be a free man.

  34. MLJ1728 says:


    You are a douche. He served minimal time in jail for his crime before he ran like a litlle b#@ch back to France to hide from justice. HE stayed in countries that would not extridite him. And by the way, please explain how the justice system has fucked this up. The have been after him for 32 years and almost had him twice before. He is a slippery little weasel. Whoopi Goldberg had the unmitigated nerve to claim that it wasn’t “rape-rape”. I wonder if she would feel the same if it was her 13 yo granddaughter. You can both suck it. He deserves to rot in hell. Read his interview in 1979 when he talks about how men want to fuck little girls. He needs to get sodomized like he did this little girl. Read the Grand Jury testimony you stupid douche.

  35. jewish guy says:

    thank you mandy, its so rare to see a rational voice here

    to the rest of the jew haters…….FUCK YOU

  36. I b Forum says:

    It is possible to be a pervert and Jewish at the same time, and this is the case with Mr. P. It is possible to hate this Jew without hating other Jews. It is possible that when these two facts (and others of a similar nature) are brought up in a discussion for someone two ASSume that to be Jewish is an excuse for abominable behavior.
    The passage of time is not and should not be reason for allowing anyone to get by without being punished if the prescribed method of punishment is possible. The State of Israel (that is where half of the worlds Jewish population lives) has had as its law and policy from it’s inception as a modern state this very principle. One of those prescribed methods of the Jewish state is to go abroad and assassinate those it assumes are guilty with out benefit of a trial. I personally think if Israel wanted to keep up this type of policy it should go out of the way and do the same for pedophile Polanski and they should use a Polish gun to do it since it would appear that many Poles think the USA should leave poor little Roman alone!

  37. Yea boiii says:

    Roman Polanski deserves to fucking burn in hell. I pray that he goes to prison and get fucking butt raped everyday by the inmates.

  38. Satan says:

    We don’t want that sick little prick here either! We are evil, but we have standards to keep.

  39. LeVar Burton says:

    I refuse to believe that my good friend pedobear wrote this

  40. Higgins says:

    Hey Steve, you have something brown on your nose.

  41. PhiIosopher. says:

    hey higgins, you have something Big, White, and Spherical in your ass

  42. Is It... says:

    ……a bleached skull?

  43. Chicken Lady says:

    ….an egg?

  44. nerd says:

    my ass?

  45. bluestacks says:

    Very very funny, and then totally off the rails wrong to show the Tate murder scene. Keeps it from being funny or satirical and makes it a gosh-wow-how-cool-is-that kind of thing. No one who was killed in that house deserves to have his corpse used as a punchline, even if — especially if — your point is that Polanski’s defenders use that as an excuse. You don’t need the image to exploit the rest of the storyline.

    That said, the rest of it was uncomfortably well done.

  46. Nick says:

    china town was an excellent movie but i never knew this piece of shit raped a kid. he himself should be raped… by a fire hydrant, for hours and then beaten till hes breathing shallow

  47. Pieyed says:

    Despite the tacky pictures (I suppose the author felt that some of us needed the help of pictures to make his point!?) the logic that some of his supporters use to defend him make me shudder. He drugged & raped a child! This is the worst of crimes there is in civilized society. No one is above the law and I think Luc Besson is a stand up guy for saying so.

  48. nerd says:

    Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Heyo!!