Editors Note: Here at Holy Taco, we welcome celebrities to share their thoughts with us about whatever topic they like. We promise not to censor them. Therefore, we were ecstatic when Kevin Jonas of the Jonas Brothers asked to write a guest column.
Yo, what's up fans! This is Kevin Jonas, from the Jonas Brothers! So, if you're like me, you're at the age where you're doing cool stuff like shredding on a guitar, and measuring your penis! So, let me give you a little break down on the best way to measure it, coolio?
Step 1. I was really confused at first, but luckily my manager over at Disney knew exactly how to help me out! Did someone say Rockin?! Oh yeah! So the first thing you're going to want to do, is go to your managers office, and close the door. Then take your pants down, it’s measurin’ time!
Step 2: Next step is super simple. Your manager is going to need something to measure by, and my manager said that rulers are waaaaaay to inaccurate. Weird, right! I guess they don't RULE-er. Hahaha! So, instead, if your manager is like mine, he'll know how deep his throat is!
Step 3: When your manager is done measuring, which usually takes about fifteen to twenty minutes,or as long as the first four songs on our newest album, Lines, Vines, and Trying times! (totally rocks!), make sure to have him tell you how long it is, brah! ‘cause sometimes he’ll just get up and leave, and not even tell you!Managers got a lot of on their mind, especially when he’s managing a certain band that rocks super hard! Oh, wait, I'm talking about my band! Sahweeet!
Editor's note: No one at Holy Taco wrote this post, so there's no point in suing us, because we didn't write it. Someone must have hacked into our site, and then wrote it. Yes. That's what happened.
Kevin this is your brother, Joe. Why have you been getting the manager to deep throat you when mom will do the same in like 10 minutes,plus getting mom to do it get's me free glue.
wow thats some funny shit but people these days have way to much time in their hands and to make something up like that.... just wow but i had a thought that they were gay but i really dont think they are its just the way they dress.. but i love the Jonas Brothers dont get me wrong and I think its funny that someone would waste their time writing this and it even sounds fake... i mean people you need to get a life and quit making up rumors cause thats probably what happened to the guy who wrote this.. so yeah leave the Jonas Borthers alone and its their life they can do what they want.. and they did nothing to you to make you write this so get a life so yeahh... FUCK OFF!
i think that you are one of those people that have way too much time on their hands because 1. you have the time to go through the tons of stupid shit online and find this and 2. you took the time to write a huge comment about it. ITS A FUCKING JOKE! get over it... if someone is really gonna think this is true then they are fucking stupid and should learn that everything on the internet is true. if it was everyone with an email address would have a 12 foot dick and be a millionaire because of some internet business. grow up...if ur gonna bitch about it why just not waste ur time reading it in the first place!
there is no way in hell he would have wrote this.. u ppl are fucking sick!!! god i just wanna punch all u ppl in the fucking face! get a life seriously
There is no way possible Kevin could have wrote this! Gosh what the duck Kevin wouldn't write that because little kids look up to him, and that's freaking disgusting you pervs!
I think that when ppl write bad things about other ppl is because their jealous of how they do their own things.So to say I'm not really a fan of how this website is really working out.
- Taisha McCarter
OMG!!! LIKE WTF!!! KEVIN WOULD NEVER SAY DAT!!! SO WHO EVER THE HELL PUT DAT IS STUPID!!! ND LIKE DA OTHER PERSON SED (GET A LIFE!!!)! ITZ LIKE IF YALL HAVE NOTIN ELSE 2 DO DEN 2 BE MAKIN UP SHIT LIKE DAT!!! YALL SUCK!!!
wow wtf!!?! u r stupid kevin jonas would never say tat u gay person!!!!!! get a life!!!! u r stupid and a poser sooooo u r gay and neeed 2 turn straight!!!
OH WOW! I thought that the one about them not so called "banging" a fan was bad, but this right here is just bullcrap! What the hell is wrong with you?! Is there something screwed up in your brain?! Do you need to go to a mental institution?! Because I think you do! Too bad noone is going to believe this shit! All of the people who are trying to make people believe that the Jonas Brothers are gay are truly PATHETIC! Why don't you get a life instead of trying to screw up the lives of someone you don't even know just to make yourself happy! You know you sure do seem to know alot about how to measure your penis. Seems like you've had alot of practice. Dumbass.
I really think that what this website writes about people is wrong and whoever believes this they dont know the real Jonas Brothers and are not faithful in them.Plus the editors note gives it away that this website wrote it so whoever they trash talk can sue.I think that this website is over rated and needs to be shut down let the stars be themselfs without people saying anything bad about them!!!
I'm sorry, but whoever wrote this that is supposedly "Kevin Jonas", which i highly doubt, must be some 40 year old-Jonas Brothers Hating-no taste in music-computer loving-idiot who still lives in his moms basement and decided to measure their own penus and was too embarassed to post it with their own name and thought it would be a good idea to put a bad label on Kevin Jonas and his manager that makes them seem gay!
So I say good day to you sir!
P.S. I am a dude, I'm not gay, and just because i like their music does not mean i'm gay, bi, or a transvestite. So again, good day to you sir, or maam. whatever.
I'm sorry, but whoever wrote this that is supposedly "Kevin Jonas", which i highly doubt, must be some 40 year old-Jonas Brothers Hating-no taste in music-computer loving-idiot who still lives in his moms basement and decided to measure their own penus and was too embarassed to post it with their own name and thought it would be a good idea to put a bad label on Kevin Jonas and his manager that makes them seem gay!
Do the world a favor nd leave them alone so what every guy does it the ma not admitt to it but they do. you guys think its so wonderful that you can try nd take their fame away. So leave the celebs alone. we dont care what they do its their life nd their buisness
you know if you say that they are gay than that means you are the one that is gay. i am not normally that mean to people but when they call the jonas brothers gay i come unglued
i think all of u guys r groose kevin jonas will never do that hes no a homo and being a homo is against the bible and the jonas brothers r good boys and never do something so stupid like this u guys r stupid im reporting this to the jonas brothers and the police
omfg the comments on this wer so much more funny than the article itself u dumb fucks did u actually think kevin jonas wrote this? jesus christ i didnt know ther was anyone in the world that actually liked ther music what kind of gay fag wood listen2 them
April 27th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Kevin this is your brother, Joe. Why have you been getting the manager to deep throat you when mom will do the same in like 10 minutes,plus getting mom to do it get's me free glue.
April 28th, 2009 at 07:27 am
wow thats some funny shit but people these days have way to much time in their hands and to make something up like that.... just wow but i had a thought that they were gay but i really dont think they are its just the way they dress.. but i love the Jonas Brothers dont get me wrong and I think its funny that someone would waste their time writing this and it even sounds fake... i mean people you need to get a life and quit making up rumors cause thats probably what happened to the guy who wrote this.. so yeah leave the Jonas Borthers alone and its their life they can do what they want.. and they did nothing to you to make you write this so get a life so yeahh... FUCK OFF!
April 29th, 2009 at 11:04 am
i think that you are one of those people that have way too much time on their hands because 1. you have the time to go through the tons of stupid shit online and find this and 2. you took the time to write a huge comment about it. ITS A FUCKING JOKE! get over it... if someone is really gonna think this is true then they are fucking stupid and should learn that everything on the internet is true. if it was everyone with an email address would have a 12 foot dick and be a millionaire because of some internet business. grow up...if ur gonna bitch about it why just not waste ur time reading it in the first place!
April 29th, 2009 at 02:35 pm
me husben measures my all the time
April 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am
there is no way in hell he would have wrote this.. u ppl are fucking sick!!! god i just wanna punch all u ppl in the fucking face! get a life seriously
May 8th, 2009 at 07:39 pm
There is no way possible Kevin could have wrote this! Gosh what the duck Kevin wouldn't write that because little kids look up to him, and that's freaking disgusting you pervs!
June 1st, 2009 at 01:34 pm
synthroid online
Another thing to remember is not to take two tablets at once only to catch up with the mixed dose because it may lead to overdose.
June 9th, 2009 at 07:40 pm
Hi! hVMHHHnh
June 10th, 2009 at 03:33 pm
Hi! lCTcqB
June 12th, 2009 at 01:14 pm
This is the most stupidest website ever y dont you get a life u assholes.
June 12th, 2009 at 01:16 pm
ur a dipshit
June 12th, 2009 at 01:29 pm
You guys are sick if you think for one minute that anyone's going to believe this SHIT!!! ILY Kevin!! <3
June 12th, 2009 at 01:32 pm
Pulsh*T!!!! Kevin is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 2 pure 2 do that and he's engaged this is cr*p
June 12th, 2009 at 02:54 pm
I think that when ppl write bad things about other ppl is because their jealous of how they do their own things.So to say I'm not really a fan of how this website is really working out.
- Taisha McCarter
June 12th, 2009 at 03:27 pm
that was not kevin he wouldn't say anything like that use your brains if you have any
June 12th, 2009 at 04:56 pm
OMG!!! LIKE WTF!!! KEVIN WOULD NEVER SAY DAT!!! SO WHO EVER THE HELL PUT DAT IS STUPID!!! ND LIKE DA OTHER PERSON SED (GET A LIFE!!!)! ITZ LIKE IF YALL HAVE NOTIN ELSE 2 DO DEN 2 BE MAKIN UP SHIT LIKE DAT!!! YALL SUCK!!!
I LOVE DA JONAS BROTHERS!!! =]
June 13th, 2009 at 07:38 am
THANK YOU! You took the words right out of my mouth!
July 9th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
same here
June 12th, 2009 at 05:33 pm
kevin would say dat u kno y??????? cuz he is gay...... he is sooooooooooo ugly! but i love nickkkkk!!!!!!!! he is hot
June 13th, 2009 at 07:36 am
You're so not a true Jonas fan if you don't like Kevin just as much as you like Nick and Joe. You're just a poser
June 13th, 2009 at 08:31 am
wow wtf!!?! u r stupid kevin jonas would never say tat u gay person!!!!!! get a life!!!! u r stupid and a poser sooooo u r gay and neeed 2 turn straight!!!
June 13th, 2009 at 11:00 am
jonas fans u lifeless losers jonas brothers are gay n brandon u homo get a life lmao lol
June 14th, 2009 at 08:40 am
OH WOW! I thought that the one about them not so called "banging" a fan was bad, but this right here is just bullcrap! What the hell is wrong with you?! Is there something screwed up in your brain?! Do you need to go to a mental institution?! Because I think you do! Too bad noone is going to believe this shit! All of the people who are trying to make people believe that the Jonas Brothers are gay are truly PATHETIC! Why don't you get a life instead of trying to screw up the lives of someone you don't even know just to make yourself happy! You know you sure do seem to know alot about how to measure your penis. Seems like you've had alot of practice. Dumbass.
June 14th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
this is so gay you really have no life if you have time to post this bullshit get a life and a real job!!!
June 14th, 2009 at 05:07 pm
I really think that what this website writes about people is wrong and whoever believes this they dont know the real Jonas Brothers and are not faithful in them.Plus the editors note gives it away that this website wrote it so whoever they trash talk can sue.I think that this website is over rated and needs to be shut down let the stars be themselfs without people saying anything bad about them!!!
June 15th, 2009 at 02:20 pm
lmao, That was the highlight of my day! xD
dont you just love hackers??
June 15th, 2009 at 04:10 pm
Ha.... leave it up to Kevin Jonas
June 15th, 2009 at 07:53 pm
I'm sorry, but whoever wrote this that is supposedly "Kevin Jonas", which i highly doubt, must be some 40 year old-Jonas Brothers Hating-no taste in music-computer loving-idiot who still lives in his moms basement and decided to measure their own penus and was too embarassed to post it with their own name and thought it would be a good idea to put a bad label on Kevin Jonas and his manager that makes them seem gay!
So I say good day to you sir!
P.S. I am a dude, I'm not gay, and just because i like their music does not mean i'm gay, bi, or a transvestite. So again, good day to you sir, or maam. whatever.
June 15th, 2009 at 08:07 pm
Wow;
this is so stupid bull crap;
I'm sorry, but whoever wrote this that is supposedly "Kevin Jonas", which i highly doubt, must be some 40 year old-Jonas Brothers Hating-no taste in music-computer loving-idiot who still lives in his moms basement and decided to measure their own penus and was too embarassed to post it with their own name and thought it would be a good idea to put a bad label on Kevin Jonas and his manager that makes them seem gay!
June 16th, 2009 at 11:32 am
wtf!!! yall r bulls**t!!! good lord!
June 16th, 2009 at 02:42 pm
Just go get a life.
We all know your jealous of the Jonas Brothers. :l
June 17th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Do the world a favor nd leave them alone so what every guy does it the ma not admitt to it but they do. you guys think its so wonderful that you can try nd take their fame away. So leave the celebs alone. we dont care what they do its their life nd their buisness
June 18th, 2009 at 09:43 am
gaaaaaaaaay
July 9th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
you know if you say that they are gay than that means you are the one that is gay. i am not normally that mean to people but when they call the jonas brothers gay i come unglued
July 1st, 2009 at 01:41 pm
Hahaha!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
i think all of u guys r groose kevin jonas will never do that hes no a homo and being a homo is against the bible and the jonas brothers r good boys and never do something so stupid like this u guys r stupid im reporting this to the jonas brothers and the police
August 21st, 2009 at 09:58 pm
da fuck i never thought kevin was like this :/ D: kevin why your so creepying me out
differyour toaly freaking me out i thought you were different wow
September 25th, 2009 at 07:54 pm
omfg the comments on this wer so much more funny than the article itself u dumb fucks did u actually think kevin jonas wrote this? jesus christ i didnt know ther was anyone in the world that actually liked ther music what kind of gay fag wood listen2 them
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