Hey, you know that song “I Kissed a Girl” that your chick plays constantly and you hate, but you pretend to like it because you hope she’s into it? The singer’s name is Katy Perry and she just got asked which chick she wants to smooch for real. Dear God, I can barely contain myself:
“Miley Cyrus!” she says in the latest issue of Steppin’ Out magazine. “She’s the lucky girl. It’s cool to hear through the grapevine that Miley Cyrus has my song as her ring tone.”
Perry, 23, will attend August’s Teen Choice Awards, which Cyrus, 15, is hosting.
“Maybe we’ll have another Britney-Madonna moment on stage,” Perry joked. “How hilarious would that be? Although I don’t think it would help her career. However, it would definitely help mine!”
“Yeah, hilarious!” said dudes around the world as they dumped pitchers of iced water down their pants while crossed their fingers. I am so f-ing serious right now, this had better not be a joke. This would be like that kid who thought he was getting an Xbox 360 for Christmas and then when he opens it, it’s just a box with clothes in it and his family laughs at him while he cries. You don’t joke about certain things and two chicks (
especially when even though one is fifteen) twisting tongues is probably tops on the list. Even if someone called and told me my mom knocked over a liquor store and took hostages in order to commit suicide by cop, then said “Just kidding!” three hours later, I would be less pissed than a promise of a two-chick kiss that doesn’t happen.
Damn, now I’m sweating a little.
By the way, for all you guys wanting to go to prison asap, open your windows and play this video at full volume. If you need me, I’ll be busy photoshopping Billy Ray out of those Vanity Fair pics.