When you first enter a casino, if you’re a normal dude, you’ve already put a ton of pressure on yourself to win, because if you lose, you know you might not be able to go back to that casino for a long time, maybe ever if you lose big enough. So as soon as you’re in, you’re pacing yourself, trying not to get caught up in the excitement of "I’m in a vegas casino!" If it looks like you’re gonna blow all your cash in the first five minutes you’re there, you maybe leave the table, play with the slots for a little bit, try to let some time go by. After a little while though, you realize, "I didn’t come here to sit and play the nickel slots, I came here to play the tables!" Normally that’s when you blow your wad of cash really quickly, and then you audibly make an excuse like, "This never happens to me. I’m usually always up."
Most of the time you just try to not lose quickly, because if you can gamble long enough, even if you end up not winning, you can still say “Well, at least I made my money last for a while. I’m sure most people who come to this casino lose right away.”
Then there are times that you’ve been drinking for the last five hours, and you go right to the high rollers table and then reach into your pocket and realize you’ve lost your wallet, or find that you’re too drunk to put your card in the ATM.
And then, then there are those times when you enter a casino and you’re relaxed and you get a good flow going and all of a sudden , you hit it big. You’re not even sure what’s happened. You look around as if to say “holy shit, did anyone see that, I just hit the jackpot!” And after you’ve hit that jackpot, the pressure is OFF. You’re now playing with the house’s money. You’re throwing hundreds around, you’re tipping the waitress 80 bucks for a rum and coke, because there’s no way you can leave a loser. The owner of the casino comes down to the floor and tells you that any time you’re in town, you have a free room and drinks on him.
As soon as you leave, you’re calling your buddies, telling them how it all went down. You don’t even bother to change, you just go right over to where they’re staying. You smell like B.O. and your hair is all fucked up, and the first thing they always do is bring up a story of the one time they scored big, and if they don’t have a story like that, they make it up. Which inevitably leads to someone saying "Dude, I was with you that night. You didn’t win shit, you played Kino in the cafe at Treasure Island until midnight, then went home."
Anal Chili one is better…
**and also delicious**
Obama farts out berries and cream like all Muslims.
clearly, Tyler and Paul are the two kids in the picture in the next post.
Paul and Tyler earn the handy-tard award for the day for not getting this obvious analogy.
As someone who plans to loose their virginity tonight this is some great advice
Thanks Holy Taco
ahaha, very good analogy. I have been too drunk to put my atm in the slot plenty of times. You guys should write up an article entailing the excuses guys think of when faced with that problem
This has noting to do with sex
Analogy FAIL!
Go back to Break Tyler, this is obviously lost on you.
What does this have to do with having sex with a hot chick?
Seriously…..this makes no sense.
Title should be: Reading this post is like wasting three minutes of your life.
You bring shame to The Chili’s/Anal analogy, by comparing this to it.
…..Yes the Chili’s post has a sense of pride, and you just shit all over it.
- P.S. the Chili’s post was good, do more of that. Compare kinky sex to Benihana’s or something.
dude you really need to start masturbating to porno instead of blog posts, and tell your sister the skid marks were on her panties already when she left them at my house , i swear.
ohhh Vegas…she hurts so good.
Tyler… really? Are you that fucking slow?