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Hefner’s Girlfriend Bangs Joe Francis?

You know how sometimes when you’re wiping your ass, your finger breaks through a seam in the toilet paper and you immediately freak out and think “Ew!  I have shit on my finger! I’m touching shit right now!” as you frantically calculate in your mind how long it’s going to take you to finish wiping your ass before you can run to the nearest sink?  That’s sort of how I’d feel if I was a woman who got drunk and met some dude and banged him, only to wake up and find out that dude is Joe Francis.  Thus, it’s even more unbelievable to me that sober women choose to bang Francis.  Celebslam.com reports:

Hugh Hefner’s “Girls Next Door star [Kendra Wilkinson] took a break from the Playboy Mansion to hang with “Girls Gone Wild chief Joe Francis in Miami. They were making out at Karu & Y on Friday before Francis went to club Heathrow.

I think if you have sex with Joe Francis, instead of ejaculating like a normal male a large black shadowy thing with crimnson eyes shoots out of his penis, flies to the top of the room and stares down out you, then goes MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!, and  disappears and flies off.

How in the hell can you justify to yourself sleeping with Joe Francis?  I mean, what’s the next step down for her?  Pauly Shore?  No, he played the weasel in Encino man which ranks way above “making millions by exploiting drunken underage girls.”  I think the only way Kendra goes any lower is if she parties with this guy:

6 Responses to "Hefner’s Girlfriend Bangs Joe Francis?"

  1. Anonymous says:

    It’s too bad too cause she’s kinda a sexy bitch no Holly but she’s sexy

  2. Pratik says:

    Well he does have a lot of practice at getting chicks naked…

  3. Jay T. says:

    I think it makes perfect sense. Joe Francis is like a modern, younger version of Hef, except he’s also a retarded douche-bag who once compared himself to Jesus. Which I suppose could be true under the right circumstances. 8-year-olds, Dude.

  4. Steve says:

    Look at this chick!

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  5. Ron says:

    I thought she was engadged to some hockey player or football player somthing like that right??? so not anymore?