Helen Mirren Is Sorta Cool With Date Rape

In my freshman public speaking class, we we’re told to give impromptu one minute speeches on a topic we were given at the start of class. This one dude’s topic was “dating” and his speech started off like “Dating is pretty chill. It’s hard to find a cool chick,” but then about twenty seconds in devolved into “except for when girls dress like strippers and then your bro gets accused of date rape even though the chick is a super drunk slut. She was just like falling all over him throwing his junk in his face, bro. Come on. So, to conclude, dating is pretty cool sometimes.” Shockingly, Helen Mirren and that dude have similar viewpoints. People.com reports:

Helen Mirren makes some startling revelations , she was date raped more than once

“Not with excessive violence, or being hit, but rather being locked in a room and made to have sex against my will.”

And while Mirren defended a woman’s right to say “no” at any point, she’s not always in favor of reporting such attacks.

“I don’t think [a woman] can have that man into court under those circumstances,” she continued, “It’s such a tricky area, isn’t it? Especially if there is no violence. I mean, look at Mike Tyson. I don’t think he was a rapist.”

I’m pretty sure if they asked Mike Tyson he’d be like “I don’t know what the f*&k Helen Mirren is talking about. I’m most definitely a rapist.”

Wait, if there’s no violence, then how are these guys getting her to do it with them? Do they lock the door and go “I have a DVD copy of the 1995 film Powder and I’m going to replay the scene where Powder is stripped naked and assaulted by the town bully, and we’ll sit here and watch it over and over and over. OR, you can have sex with me. Your choice.” Or, she was just way f-ed up on drugs, which she says she likes.

Mirren, 63, also admits she took illegal drugs , including marijuana and LSD , as a teen. “I loved coke.”

Wow, the only thing missing from that statement is “Oh yeah, and I f-ed Collin Farrel in a bathroom.”  I’m now picturing Mirren at parties looking like this: