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Hey, What’s Up? I’m Your Sister’s New Boyfriend

Hey bro. What’s going on? I’m your sister’s new boyfriend. Yeah man, pretty cool, huh? We met in Florida when she was on Spring Break this year. It was pretty cool, I was actually just living on the beach down there and we ended up making out one night. Pretty crazy man, you know? Yeah, you know. You seem pretty cool. You wanna smoke some pot in the garage or something? This cigarette ain’t exactly doin’ it for me. Do you have any pot, because I’m fresh outta scooch and my dude just got pinched.

Your dad seems like he doesn’t like me. That’s really harsh man, super harsh. He’s kind of a judgmental dude, isn’t he? He’s assuming because I’m twelve years older than his daughter that I’m some kind of dirtbag. I mean, we just met. It’s like, let the situation be what it is. Let’s hang, break bread, and just feel each other out. I’m just trying to rise above all that noise.

So you said you didn’t have any weed? You sure? If you spot me this time, next time I’ll give you some of mine. I’m probably gonna start selling soon, so I’ll hook you up right…

No? Ok, it’s cool.

What time is your mom making dinner? I’m getting super hungry. She knows I’m vegan, right? I don’t even like to look at meat. It’s like a nightmare, thinking about how all those animals suffered. I just can’t justify it. I don’t even kill insects. Harmony. That’s what I’m all about.

You guys rich? This house looks nice. I don’t have a house. I’ve been living with your sister since we got back from Asia. I just need to stay off the grid, you know? It’s like, I’m not going to be a part of the bullshit everyone else is a part of. I don’t even have a driver’s license, I don’t need the government knowing where I am at all times. I don’t even really need one here, since your sister’s got one.

Hang on, I gotta take this call…

Ok, I’m back, sorry about that. That was my buddy Troy. He’s back in the states and needs a place to crash so he’s gonna live with me and your sister for a while. She’s got a pretty sick pad for a twenty three year old. Troy and I are probably gonna turn the second bedroom into a studio. Troy does internet mashups and shit. We’re gonna start a business.

Where you going? You leaving? Alright man. Catch you on the flip side!

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