Carmelo Anthony is a player of sport. Specifically, he is a player of the National Basketball Association, a league that, from what I hear, has recently become famous for having its participants attempt to place a bumpy orange spherical bladder in to a webbed circle.
Carmelo is one of the National Basketball Association’s (heretofore known as the NBAs) most talented ball scorers. Some even say he can take the ball from one end of the wooden field to the other and make the so called “basket point scores” efficiently and with great ease.’ So well, in fact, that he is considered to be one of the NBAs top 10 basket point scorers, along with other basket point scorers that have also been known to put the basket in the hoop effectively during one of the league’s officially sanctioned contests of sport.
After much speculation, Carmelo, who has spent his entire career thus far playing for the Denver Powder Blues-and-Whites, has been exchanged by the Denver Powder Blues-and-White for a number of other sporters from the New York Blues-and-Oranges. In recent weeks, many sporting factions from around the NBAs attempted to procure Carmelo’s talents for the purposes of their own benefit. It has been noted that they all value his remarkable ability to lob the orange spherical bladder through the air with enough accuracy so that the aforementioned spherical passes through the webbed hoop. They also think highly of his ability to perform this action from both great distances and from very close to the webbed hoop. This fascination most likely stems from the fact a numerical value is awarded every time the orange spherical bladder passes through said webbed hoop.
The exchange of basket point scoring sporters marks a shift in power in the NBAs eastern contingent of factions, as there now seems to be yet another faction that will be able to competently compete for one of the coveted top spots in the contingent. Before this exchange of players, sporting analysts assumed the competition for these so called top spots would be amongst a number of other factions that did not include the New York Blues-and-Oranges. Many said the most fierce sporting would be between the Miami Reds-and-Whites, the Boston Greens-and-Whites, and the Chicago Reds-and-Whites (not to be confused with the Miami Reds-and-Whites). The New York Blues-and-Oranges addition of Carmelo Anthony now muddles the discussion of which sporting faction will come out victorious at the end of the predetermined number of scrums, which all culminates in some sort of christening of a new supreme victor; whom, I am told, will only reign supreme until the dawning of the new cycle of hooped sporting scrums.
The landscape of the NBAs eastern contingent of factions has been altered for the remaining series of scrums with this exchange of sporters between colored factions. (Not to be confused with colored people, who, coincidentally, have famously been known to partake in contests of competitive orange spherical bladder lobbing). There’s just no telling which faction will be better sporters than another anymore. But one thing that is for certain is that the remaining scrums between the best factions in the eastern contingent of factions will be entertaining to watch, especially when the regular portion of the scrum cycle ends and the race to crown a new supreme victor truly begins sometime during or perhaps after the month of April. At which point only a smaller contingent of factions from each larger contingent of factions will be eligible to participate in some kind of tournament of factions that scrummed well during the previous regular cycle.
And now that our thorough analyzation of the Carmelo Anthony exchange has been covered, it is time to end the article with our signature sport-themed catchphrase:
“Athletic Sporting! It is a wonderful aerobic activity, yes?!”