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Holy Taco Breaks Up with Girls

farewell card

Listen, we need to talk. The last few years have been awesome, they really have. We had good times. Remember when we thought up the name “Taco Belle?” That was clever. Cuz like, it’s Belle as in beauty or whatever, but it’s also like the restaurant, on account of we’re a taco-related comedy site, right? Yeah. Clever jokes are clever. But listen, cleverness only takes you so far.

Don’t get us wrong, it’s not like we don’t still love you. It’s just that, well, you kind of get around. We were hanging out with our buddies this weekend and they all had stories; the Smoking Jacket, COED, Guyism, they know all kinds of details about you. And don’t get us wrong, we’re not judging – you’re still cool. We still want to see you, just… we can’t live together any more.

Girl galleries, you were awesome. There were so many things we’ll never forget. Like boobs. And butts. Man, those are the best. But they’re just not us any more. Because your boobs and butts are everywhere else. And that makes us feel used.

Holy Taco is taking a stand today and we just can’t do girl galleries any more. This is a comedy site and that’s what we want to do. It’s like in highschool when we wanted to focus on our music, only this time we totally won’t give up, we swear. This is who we are now, girl galleries. It’s not you, it’s us. And it’s us, because of you.

Now don’t be sad for us, girl galleries. There’s plenty more we can do on the site. If you’re gone, we can always post funny pictures of cats. Or maybe a list of our favorite swears. Hell, maybe we could just tell jokes about airline peanuts and Charlie Sheen. We’ll be OK, don’t you worry about us.

I know everyone is expecting us to be together and some of our friends might feel they’re forced to choose between us and we’re ready for that. We’d love it if everyone could stay cool and be friends but we know real life doesn’t work that way. Some people are going to show up today and find out we broke up and never want to see us again – they’re going to choose you. They might even get mad at us. We’re OK with that, too. Some people just really love boobs and aren’t aware that you can actually look at porn and everything on the internet in one window, and read comedy in another window. That’s life.

Goodbye, girl galleries. We wish you the best. Maybe we can go out for dinner sometime in a little while and catch up. You know, if you feel like it. You’re going to do great though. We know it. You always do great.


Holy Taco

27 Responses to "Holy Taco Breaks Up with Girls"

  1. H8er says:

    Ok. At least we’ll still have GIFs.

  2. Ronko says:

    Go ahead change your name to Moldy Taco I’m outa here

  3. Boo says:

    This can’t be life.

  4. JohnnyBrillcream says:

    Comedy site, huh, whoda thunk it………

  5. jimmy smith says:

    I’d like to say I’m going to leave, because girl galleries are half of the site… but you know my trolling ass will never leave no matter how much hate I spew.

  6. morterforker says:


  7. a different paul says:

    Well, well, well. Since I was first hipped to this site it has continued to work it’s way down my list of shit to click. Right now it rates just above my actual job and just below trolling tumblr for random boobies when I stare at my screen after going through the good stuff to look at. The Sunday comics/Midnight Gifs are the only thing left worth looking at with any regularity. I am guessing it wont be long until “404-Not Found” or a Go Daddy ad show up when I wander this way. I do not say any of this as a troll, wanting anything in return, I say this so that someone there might wake up before the ship hits the iceberg.

  8. h4mm4r3 says:

    Guess that means 1 less site to go look on :)
    bye bye it have been a nice run with ya.

  9. druber says:

    cmon must be a joke. this is taco suicide! guess im outta here!

  10. druber says:

    lol could this be because you hired a female boss perhaps?

  11. Wilford Brimley says:

    This is worse than when Gawker overhauled their family of blogs.

  12. morterforker says:

    studies show that removing T&A from websites on Tuesdays resulted in less disgruntled audiences than on other days of the week.


  13. Slint says:

    NOO, damn, literally half of the site, I do NOT understand why you are taking it down. You’re girls are a 10, and your comedy is a 6, #changeyourmind

    • DonkeyXote says:

      While your spelling is a 0.


      • Slint says:

        :( k i will stay then. btw I go to school to be a plumber #plumbersarntthesmartestsodontmakefunofourspelling

  14. Adam M. says:

    I’ve noticed the editor only responds to negative comments…

    • Ian Fortey says:

      If I had more cheerleaders I’d respond to them. Then I’d look up their skirts while I held them up and it’d be wicked.

  15. Krinkov says:

    oh no! now where will I find pictures of girls on the internet!! Oh, yeah…

  16. Doug says:


  17. a guy can dream says:

    i support ya HT but you should bring back the drunken arguments or do a site on how different things have jumped the ship kinda like the internet one you did a minute back