This week's winner comes from our "Charmin Toilet Paper: What's Wrong With America" post. I've never heard a more eloquent argument for baby wipes than this, and let me tell you, I have heard at least seven baby wipe arguments.
WINNER: Master Beef
COMMENT:
Master Beef Says: January 20th, 2009 at 05:28 pm
Only a group of savages like yourselves even consider using toilet paper in this socio-ecomnic climate. My tastes are so advanced and refined i now prefer baby wipes.
This skin around your asshole is relatively the same as the skin on the rest of your body. If you had hot smelly shit plastered on your hand would you simply wipe it off with a tissue? While Some may say hell yes, others may opt to use soap and water to feel clean.The same applies when you chunk a deuce that more often than not has explosive properties or the consistency of toothpaste. Regular toilet tissue does nothing but smear it around. The wet TP trick sticks to your ass hair.
Baby wipes usually show babies on the label. When I see babies the first image to mind is an acre of putrid green baby shit. I think the solution is now clear.
EDITOR'S NOTE: If you're Master Beef, e-mail feedback@holytaco.com to claim your shirt. As usual, if I get more than one person saying they're master beef, I have to shut down comment of the week, as well as steal the social security number of an elderly person and ruin their life. Don't make me do either of those things.
(29 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
January 23rd, 2009 at 05:27 pm
I have a new hero, that was epic.
January 23rd, 2009 at 09:50 pm
vote for master beef
January 23rd, 2009 at 11:24 pm
He makes a good point.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Hello, I can't understand how to add your blog ( www.holytaco.com ) in my rss reader
January 31st, 2009 at 11:07 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:17 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:17 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:17 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:07 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:07 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:17 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
January 31st, 2009 at 11:17 pm
www.holytaco.com - cooooolest domain name)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 05:55 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 06:04 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 05:55 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 05:54 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 05:54 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 06:05 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 06:05 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
February 3rd, 2009 at 05:54 am
yo, www.holytaco.com great name for site)))
April 13th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Good site, admin.
April 14th, 2009 at 09:34 am
Good site, admin.
April 14th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Good site, admin.
April 14th, 2009 at 05:17 pm
Good site, admin.
May 17th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Good site, admin.
May 17th, 2009 at 04:26 pm
Good site, admin.
May 18th, 2009 at 01:49 pm
Good site, admin.
May 18th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Good site, admin.
May 19th, 2009 at 04:06 am
Good site, admin.
Post new comment