Father's Day is just around the corner, and if you're anything like us, you hate trying to find something to give your dad for Father's Day, because no matter what it is, he looks mildy appreciative of it, and then looks at you sideways, like he's wondering if you're gay or something. But now, thanks to the miracle of cafepress.com, we can make our own Father's Day gifts, and you can buy them!
The #5,384,726 Dad Mug
Let's be realistic: there are over a billion dads on this planet, so there's probably no way that your dad is #1. Still, even if he ranks in the top 10 million, that's pretty f*ckin' good, right?!
What better way to remind your dad of the joys of being a father than with this Daddy Wall Clock! Now, at any point during the day, he can look up and know not only what he should be doing, but why he's doing it!
Remember how your dad was always pointing guns at people and telling them to get off of his lawn?! Y'know how he's just too damned old to do that now? Well now he can own a sign that does the work for him! Just set it and forget it!
Dads are full of good advice, but there's one piece of advice that they're uniquely qualified to give: how to avoid getting stuck with your own "you". Let your dad proudly wear his feelings on child raising right on the front of his own t-shirt!
The only thing more embarassing than having to take boner pills is forgetting that you have to take boner pills. So why not help Dad reclaim at least a little bit of his lost dignity with these handy boxers, featuring a reminder printed right near his flacid junk?!
It's like a wearable version of the mug at the top of this article! The fact is, your dad is probably not the best father or trucker in the world. But at least as a father he's ranked!
It's like a version of the trucker hat above that sticks to the bumper of your car! In fact, that's exactly what it is! Odds are pretty good that the dad driving behind your dad will be ranked much lower than this, so give your dad the chance to rub it in!
You may think that Dad loves manning the grill, but let's be realistic: who enjoys cooking sixty-five burgers in the sweltering heat? Nobody, that's who. But sometimes talking to your family is much, much worse. Now, with our handy Honest Dad's Apron, people will know to stay away from Dad and let him suffer the lesser of two evils!
Let's face it, every dad has high hopes for their children. Not that they'll be a good person, or reach a high academic level, but that they'll be good at sports. So when you're not, you've disappointed your dad beyond belief. So why not give your dad a mug, that says how he feels, without having to say it!
Nothing says "I love you, dad" more than a card with a semen stain on it, thanking your dad for ejaculating in to your mom. It's honest, straight forward, and completely appropriate for Father's day.
Your dad is old as hell, and he knows it. His vision has been blurry for a long time, but this card will force him to look at the reality of the situation. His body is falling apart and his senses are failing him. This is a hilarious way to remind him that death is imminent and fast approaching!
(18 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 15th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
This is pretty awesome!
June 15th, 2009 at 01:01 pm
Its telling YOU to come out of the closet.
June 15th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I don't get the t-shirt.
June 15th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Don't worry your dad didn't get it either, that's why you're here... It says "pull" from the guy pulling the rope and "out" from the ump saying out...
June 15th, 2009 at 01:27 pm
niiiiiice....all these are pretty gooood.....
June 15th, 2009 at 02:25 pm
I might buy the Get off my lawn sign for myself.
June 15th, 2009 at 02:30 pm
Semen card ftw.
http://casualencounters.com/blog/
June 15th, 2009 at 06:17 pm
I didn't understand the t-shirt. . .& no Im not blond
June 15th, 2009 at 08:57 pm
Maybe you're not blond, but you ARE too fucking stupid and lazy to SCROLL THE FUCK DOWN. Fucking retard.
June 15th, 2009 at 06:19 pm
Oh. . . "pull out" :|
This site is so fucking clever.
June 15th, 2009 at 06:38 pm
This is an awesome article, love the card thanks for blowing a load in mom. You guys forgot another product which any dad would love
http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=1121
June 15th, 2009 at 06:48 pm
lol get off my lawn or my magnum is gonna make ya punk.
June 16th, 2009 at 12:29 am
These Kinky Bitches will help daddy get his boner back!
June 17th, 2009 at 07:18 am
I like the "pull umpire" shirt
June 17th, 2009 at 03:25 pm
Get him a subscription to Nuts Magazine! Jesus Christ look at Gemma Atkinson's Tits!
June 19th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I actually AM gay... :\
June 24th, 2009 at 05:09 am
ol get off my lawn or my magnum is gonna make ya punk.
dizi izle dizi izle diziizle canli dizi
July 13th, 2009 at 06:17 am
These are definitely some really cool gift ideas folks. Thanks a lot.
Mike - the log splitter dude.
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