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Holy Taco Interview: Chuck D. from The Salads

The Salads

We’ve got a bunch of twitter followers, and some of them are famous. Never one to let a good thing go to waste, we put our famous followers to work by getting them to answer a series of (mostly) inane questions to get to know them a little bit better/make them wonder why they’re wasting their time answering such inane questions.

Today’s interview comes to us from Holy Taco follower Chuck D., the bassist for the Canadian punk band The Salads. You can find Chuck posting under the official Salads Twitter account.

HT: Zombies Have Taken Over The Land, You Have To Arm Yourself. What Zombie-killing Weapons Do Carry With You as You Roam the Post-Apocalyptic Wastelands?

Chuck D.: Knives, Guns, Chainsaws, and lotsa explosives that can blow shit up. Nothing beats an exploding zombie head.

HT: We mock BEP [Black Eyed Peas] and Nickelback mercilessly, what’s the worst modern band enjoying success out there today?

Chuck D.: Who’s BEP? I think Broken Social Scene fucking sucks. When I saw them on Letterman recently I felt embarrassed to be Canadian. It’s hipster bullshit in it’s most sickening way. Beards, scarves, and brutal playing. They have what? Like 5 guitar players? Doing what? Playing one chord. How stupid. Would love to have a guitar-off against all 5 of them, and I’m the bass player. Although, I’ve seen some of these guys on their own and they were pretty great. Even jammed with Jason Collete at a bar up north. It was pretty fun. I wish now I had asked him if he would disband their cool kid club. Instead we just talked about hash.

Salads

HT: Tougher one – worst classic band?  Herman’s Hermits never did it for us.

Chuck D.: I think I like almost all the classic rock songs I hear. There’s been enough time to weed out the bad stuff. …Come to think of it though, I’ve heard Burton Cummings watches tons of porn when he records. That’s fine, but have you seen him live? He makes love to his mic stand. It’s so fucking gross. I’ve also seen him treat his girlfriend like absolute shit backstage at the Molson Amphitheater in Toronto. So, I’ll pick Burton because he seems like a jerk.

HT: You’re Canadian, what’s the best thing Canada can lay claim to?

Chuck D.: Canada is great. So many hot women. So much good music. And we have Muskoka cottage country, which completely rules! I love Canada.

HT: If you weren’t into music what would you be spending your time doing?

Chuck D.: I would probably have found a hot girl to marry that has a great job. Wait a minute.. I did do that.

HT: Taco Bell, Pizza Hut or KFC?

Chuck D.: They all give me the shits. Taco Bell probably gives me the most enormous ones, so I pick Taco Bell! Run for the border!

HT: Actress or singer you’ve never seen naked that really needs to get naked?

Chuck D.: You are asking me to reach inside and find my inner creep. Creepy. Maybe Burton Cummings should just say screw it and get naked. That’s obviously where his head is at.
HT: Our brother site Cage Potato recently informed us Canadian Robin Black fights in MMA bouts these days – thoughts?  Any plans to beat up people for profit?
Chuck D.: I think it’s rad. I’ve been following him the whole way. Definitely unexpected and I don’t think anybody could have predicted it. He’s pretty great at it too! The only fight I’ve ever been in is with my younger brother on a drive to Detroit. I punched him twice in the face because I was pissed at how shitty he was driving. He hauled off and hit back while going a buck 20 on the 401 and managed, in one punch, to give me a black eye and a fat lip. My Mom was in the back seat and we were visiting grandma. She was proud… not. I’m not a good fighter.

HT: Can you explain MTV?  At all?

Chuck D.: I don’t watch MTV. We had MTV Canada here in Toronto for a while and they played tons of music and had mega super babes for hosts. I miss them.

HT: Worst place you’ve ever performed live?

Chuck D.: There are so many. How do I choose… There’s a town in Ontario called Kitchener. There is a club at a hotel in Ontario called The Kitchener Motor Inn. It’s not in Kitchener. Our drummer drove himself to the gig. He drove to Kitchener and called when he got there and said “I’m here! Where do I go?” So funny. “Head 4 hours north dude!”. Then the gig. There were nasty nasty cougars and a lot of really old sad guys dancing around. Our singer held the mic out for a patron to sing a line and accidentally knocked the guys dentures on the floor. Gramps then picked his teeth up off the rank dance floor, popped them back in his mouth, and sang the line! Hahaha… After the show, on the way to our rooms up above the bar, there was a drunk guy who must have been walking into his room and passed out on the hallway floor. His feet were inside but his torso was in the hallway. He had a ten dollar bill clutched in his hand. Our guitar player snatched it and we got some pizza. Well, let’s be fair, He asked “should we take it?” I said “poor fucker… well, if you take it I’ll go with you to get some pizza”.. swipe!!

HT: Worst opening act you ever had?

Chuck D.: I don’t think we’ve had any real stinkers. We do our best to be careful about that, and always have well rounded, great shows. We try to pick bands that get our crowd going early on. Although, one time we didn’t know we had an opening band. Did sound check and went for dinner. When we returned to the club a band was onstage, playing all of our gear. This is unheard of. I think I was a dick about it. I walked onstage and just unplugged them all over the place and let our manager deal with damage control.

HT: Best martial art known to man?

Chuck D.: Ninja!


HT: If you had to choose between never eating fried food again for the rest of your life or only being able to have sex with Whoopi Goldberg for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

Chuck D.: What kind of fucked up question is that? Fried.

4 Responses to "Holy Taco Interview: Chuck D. from The Salads"

  1. DonkeyXote says:

    I don’t think Mrs. Goldberg will all too pleased with that comment regarding her “Rasta Box”.

  2. Adam M. says:

    oh… i thought it was the real chuck d