August is winding down and we’ve been without the thrill of Game of Thrones for some months now. Have you forgotten how much you love the show? Have you been cutting yourself awaiting its return? Have you touched yourself whilst thinking of me? Of course.
Because we want to keep you up to date on HBO’s hit series, we tracked down Hodor for an interview to see how the off season is going. Yes, I’m making this joke. Follow it along.
Holy Taco: So Hodor, thanks for taking some time to speak with us today
Hodor: Mmm, Hodor.
HT: Did you have any idea when HBO approached you to be on this show that it would be so huge?
H: Hodor. Hodor.
HT: Ha ha, yes.
HT: And do you find yourself getting recognized a lot now?
HT: What do fans ask you most often?
H: Hodor. Hodor! Heh….Hodor.
HT: Ha! That’s great.
HT: No, with the success of the show and these great novels on which they’re based, how long do you think we can stretch out this joke, which to be honest, wasn’t even funny to begin with?
H: Ah. Hodor.
HT: Now that’s interesting. We took bets in the office and thought it would actually be over before now.
H: Hodor. Hodor Hodor.
HT: Yes. Do you think people are still reading this?
HT: Does this qualify as breaking the fourth wall? This kind of self aware cutesy shit we’re pulling here?
HT: Yeah. Well I bet someone is following this still, and after the first low from realizing there was nothing more substantive we’re coming into a secondary low where those who kept reading t the self aware part began to expect something of a pay off around here, when really, there’s no way we can make this interesting or rewarding. I’m not even sure this qualifies as a joke anymore.
HT: You’re not even a real person. This is just me, alone in my house, at 12:37 am watching Conan O’Brien, drinking a Corona, eating a sandwich and typing this shit out. Oh my God, am I having some kind of a crisis?
HT: Like an existential one. Or psychological at the very least. Is this therapy? Did I finally snap and just run out of shit to write? People don’t realize what goes into writing a new article every day. Especially since I’ve been doing this 2007. I’ve seriously written over 1,000,000 words in my time. Every week we’re looking at about 10,000 more words I write. Every week. For years. Isn’t that crazy?
HT: Maybe this is the shit that happens when you hit a wall, you just have nothing left. Am I comedically empty?