It’s 11 PM on a Friday night. You’re sitting at home, doing what you always do: leaving negative comments on HolyTaco.com and searching the web for free tranny porn (not that you like it, but just for a “goof” … cough, cough).
All of the sudden, a rag is firmly placed over your mouth. You struggle briefly, but the chloroform takes hold too quickly, and everything fades to black. Several hours later, you awake to find yourself naked and strapped securely to a table in what appears to be an elderly woman’s basement. The smell of old socks and Mad Dog 20/20 fills the air, and a cloaked figure approaches.
“How was your nap, OfficeJerq?” says the stranger.
“I’m not OfficeJerq,” you protest. “My handle is…”
The stranger cuts you off.
“Regardless of your handle, I know you’ve been leaving negative comments. I traced your IP address. It is I, Ian Fortey, the one you constantly call “gay.”
Your pulse quickens as you realize the severity of the situation. The chances of you making it out of this madman’s basement alive appear to be slim. At this point, a quick and painless death is the preferred option to whatever tortures he has in store. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen.
“Because of your insulting comments, I have brought you here with the sole purpose of subjecting you to the horrors of Tranny Roulette! The game shall proceed accordingly. Two people will walk into the room. One will be a female, the other will be a tranny. Without being told which is which, you must choose which of the two you would like to have sex with. Once you have made your decision, you will be forced to fornicate with your choice in-front of my webcam, which is streaming live on HolyTaco. You must complete three rounds, or you will face ‘the consequences.’ Any questions?”
“Yes,” you say.
“Too bad,” replies Ian. “Let the games begin.”
Now you must choose. Will you…
A. Play the game, hoping your knowledge of tranny porn will pay off…
or
B. Face the consequences…
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
I can’t take away credit from Mr. Schrute. So not really, DonkeyPunchee. Fortunately I didn’t have to give up any pussy finding this gem.
But you wouldn’t understand being a flaming faggot and all.
OK this is the second credit i’ve gotten in a HT article. I must be around too much.
hahahahahaha so funny
This has never happened to me before but I cant stop masturbating! Just imagining Ian dressed in his tranny gear makes me ashamed and aroused!
Dwight, shut the fuck up. You’re not funny!
STOP FUCKING TRYING!
Ian Fortey is gay.
So are you son
You are so gay (saw ripoff) Ian faggoty.
How about just as round 1 is about to commence, your testicular cancer escalates rapidly, and you fall on the ground writhing in pain crying “Please help me!!!”
Then within 5 minutes I free myself because being a little fag bitch renders you incapable of tying a good knot. I then proceed to bring god’s vengeance against homoboys like yourself by raping your cancerous ass with a freaking chainsaw. Being an expert torturer from Tijuana, I take care that you don’t die, but instead live to relive the shame of this experience.
This game is so much better don’t you think?
“I then proceed to bring god’s vengeance against homoboys like yourself by raping your cancerous ass with a freaking chainsaw.”
Keywords to look out for here are: “God’s vengeance” and “freaking”
Therefore one can hypothesise that the representative figlet is a Christian uptight little gentle-boy republican incapable of cursing, ironically though he has no trouble conjuring up far fetched mutilations of raping cancerous asses with chainsaws.
Those Mexican bible studies you’re so fond on have clearly paid off.
you live to relive the shame of this experience.. over and over and over again till you go to wait tables in hell. And I hear those spartans eat bitches like you for breakfast.
There’s a reason why pussies like you shouldn’t be allowed to watch gory films without parental guidance.
hahahahaha that was hysterical!!
I peed so hard I laughed a little.
I laughed so hard I peed a little.
Sane people vs donkey xote:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this is the most reliable source of information on the donkey punch loving whore we all know as donkeyxote
http://www.holytaco.com/friday-morning-link-dump-35
I rest my case.
Wasn’t there a faggot trolling these pages under several different monikers flaming me by talking in behalf of ‘everyone’, all in the vain hope to support his credibility?
Oh wait, it was you! xD
You still haven’t told us how much pussy and booze you had to give up in order to create an animated rendering of your own diatribe. Fail much?