The internet is a wild and dangerous place full of miscreants. Many of them are reading this along with you and we love them all because they’re our core audience. In celebration of the back alley that is Holy Taco and its wonderful fans, we’re giving our super fans, the people who go above and beyond the call of duty, the chance to be featured right here along such hallowed journalistic milestones like Drunken Arguments and gifs of bouncing boobs.
Our inaugural Facebook Friend is Ashley and to celebrate this event, we conducted this totally fake interview with her because she didn’t have the time to talk to us for real and/or she was less than amused by the horribly inappropriate questions we sent to her. Which is funny because, as a fan of the site, you’d figure she would have expected at least one question about oil wrestling with the elderly, but whatever.
HT: Ashley, you’ve been very active in our Facebook group and seem to one of our few fans who shows us no animosity. What gives?
A: I mean, sometimes I hate you guys and want to leave comments about why the world would be better if you all died of syphillis, but most of the time you just make me laugh. I just really like your site. I have it bookmarked and everything.
HT: Oh, that’s delightful. Research tells us many of our readers end up here by accident after Googling “how do I get rid of crabs” or “how to make love to Christopher Walken.”
A: I’ve never had either.
HT: Wonderful. So what is it about HT that you enjoy so much?
A: Well, I lead a busy life as a jetpack engineer, Muay Thai fighter and rum spokesmodel, so I need my comedy packed into easy to digest bundles. I also really enjoy useless how-to articles and clumsy sexual innuendo. My dad was actually a clumsy sexual innuendo salesman in Kansas back in the 80′s. It’s like Holy Taco was made for me.
HT: We do aim to be everything to everyone. Originally we were going to be an amalgam of Wikipedia and a German porn site. Not really sure how it evolved into what it is now.
A: Yeah, it really has that vibe.
HT: It does. It really does. Ashley, you’ve been a pleasure to pretend to talk to and we hope you’ll continue to be active in the Facebook group. The site here is all business but Facebook is where we go to cry.
A: I’ve noticed.
If you’d like to be Holy Taco’s Facebook Friend of the Week or feel you know someone worthy of this immense honor, deserving to be seen by millions, then all you need to do is join our Facebook fan page and make yourself heard. Stand out and prove your worth – are you insanely hot? Do you have pictures of you with Hulk Hogan? Can you eat 16 hot dogs? Are you willing to do shameful things for a taste of notoriety? Catch our eye and let us know why you’re what Holy Taco needs.