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Horror Movie or Porno?

The concept is simple friends – 10 movie titles of real movies.  Are they horror films or pornos?  Sure, you can cheat and use Google, but it’s not like you’re going to win anything when you complete this sordid movie list.  Just guess.

1. Bottom Feeders

We’ll get the ball rolling with a good one that can clearly swing either way.  Bottom Feeders generally refers to something like a catfish or, more colloquially, a bit of a scumbag.  But the implications for either porn or horror are vast and sweeping as lord knows porn producers are more than classy enough to make a movie about tasting butts and give it such a moniker, and a horror movie screenwriter would applaud his own witticism if he made a movie about monsters that taste butts.  Or just eat you from below.

2. Father Figure

Is it an illicit film about young ladies with older men that had to go for the most unsettling title possible?  Or is it about a creepy dude who steps into a child’s life and, unbeknownst to the rest of the family, is a sinister, no good murdering butt taster?  It’s a tough call with such an ambiguous name.

3.Breaking the Girl

Another creepy for any number of reasons title, Breaking the Girl represents all the potential worst in both horror and porn as both imply some degree of awfulness befalling a lady.  The question is whether it’s some sort of Saw-meets-Hostel torture porn horror movie in which someone does atrocious things to an innocent victim, or is it the exact same thing minus the blood in a porn that features a lot of leather chaps and restraints?

4. Creeper

We know Facebook has creepers, those eerie pervs who like to look at your photos and pleasure themselves while they watch Storage Wars and eat cashews, but again, that could go horror or porn petty easy, couldn’t it?  Plus, the monster in Jeepers Creepers was called the Creeper, and Dario Argento made the movie Phenomena which is also known as Creepers.  But it’s also worth noting that those Facebook people go out in public sometimes and they’re still Creepers while they try to watch ladies in a Wal Mart toilet.  Tough call.

5. Cousin Sarah

This sounds more like a Lifetime movie of the week starring Sally Field more than anything, which is why it could easily lend itself in either direction, it’s so innocuous.  Is Cousin Sarah a possessed, murdering freak creature or does she just like to hump the cable guy?  Oh man, what if it’s both?

6. The Four

Totally generic name here, could be anything.  Four victims of a deranged killer?  Four people humping on a yacht?  Four beings needed to open a gateway to hell?  Four boobies?  The possibilities are nearly endless for anything.

7. Gutterballs 2

This is so obviously a porno name you have to suspect that we included it on the list because it’s actually a horror movie.  But since we just showed our hand in that last sentence, can you trust that it isn’t, in fact, a porno?  It’s too perfectly a porno name in a list where we’re trying to trick you that nothing is what it seems!  Except that, porn or horror, it probably has something hilariously to do with bowling, which makes either possibility awesome.  Plus it’s a sequel, so you know it was such an awesome idea the first time around they went for a second bite at the apple.

8. Womb Ghosts

In stark contrast to Gutterballs, here’s Womb Ghost a name too awful to be taken seriously as either a horror or a porn.  What the hell does it even mean?  Is it about haunting vaginas?  Because that still doesn’t shed light on it being either a horror or a porn.  Tough one.  Odds are it sucks though, no matter what.

9. Full Contact

Another brain buster here, Full Contact sounds pretty porny right off the bat, but then couldn’t you imagine a direct-to-DD shitfest starring Casper an Dien as a high school football coach at a school where all the players are slowly being killed off by a desperate, shadowy figure?  Who is doing it?  Why?  How can it be stopped?  EVERYONE IS A SUSPECT!  Or maybe it’s just about cheerleaders bumping uglies.

10. Suck

Vampires Suck was allegedly a horror parody, sort of.  What’s plain Suck?  Is it vampires?  And even if it is vampires, is it still just horror?  We have it on good authority there’s a stunning amount of vampire porn out there.  Hmm.

 

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