Your hair is falling out. It sucks but it’s not the end of the world, it’s just really really close to the end of the world. Here’s some tips on how to deal:
1. Don’t fight, accept.
Your hair, much like Arrested Development, is not coming back no matter how great it was. You can’t fight baldness and win. It’s like your girlfriend, the more you fight it, the worse you look, and the less your chances are of getting laid.
2. Look for inspiring bald guys.
There’s lots of bald guys that women find attractive. Lots! There’s that one guy… on that one show… I think. Whatever, the point is there are some. Find one that inspires you!
3. Look at the positives.
When you had hair, everyone knew you were a pussy because you already looked like one. If you’re bald and you shave your head, you’ll look tough and people will have to confront you to find out you’re a pussy, which happens way less.
4. Embrace your new team.
You’re now part of a select group of men. Just like how the Kansas City Royals are part of a select group of Major League Baseball players. Help out your fellow bald men and together, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish!
5. Don’t make fun of yourself.
Does a waiter tell you the food you ordered tastes like shit right before he serves you? Maybe only at Red Lobster. Otherwise no way! So don’t you go putting yourself down either! Confidence is key. Believe you’re a stud and women will either believe you, or think you must have a really big penis since there’s no way you could be confident being so bald. Either way, you win!
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
I’m 23 and going bald plus I’m fat i will never talk to a women without giving my credit card number again i hate life and i wish i was dead and will prolly kill myself before 30
As someone who was informed of his bald spot by the girl sitting behind him in 1st period senior year of high school
Mike from petites annonces
Mr Balls is an absolute prick, but he’s right!
I have had long blond/brown hair for the past 6 years. Im now in my mid/late twenties and its becoming noticably thinner!
My pussy level is already starting to decrease!
I have seriously pulled over 10 chicks who have chatted me up about or wanted to touch my hair!
Shallow but a womans a woman at the end of the day!
I really have a problem with getting bold right now…And I really need to know what to take in order to get rid of this problem. Last year I`ve been to a drug detox center and since then I started to lose my hair. If anyone have any treatment for this, please reply me in a comment.
Haha Newt! You poor bastard, sucks to be you….
I’ve gold bold already at the age of 25… so before it looked any worse I shaved the lot off and fucking love it.
Everyone said I look better, and I also look more hard! And if anything I feel better talking to ladys as I know I aint got that little bold patch she might see… best thing i’ve done!
I started balding at the age of 12. I was that kid you knew in high school. You know the one. The only teenager in the whole school who was going bald. Every big city high school has one of us.
it,s all bullshit fuck sake it needs a cure admit are lives are shit because of it i got told in class 25 years ago fucked my life up before it got started i,ve never been the same since as for women i don,t wanna go near them because of it if anyone asks me money for poxy disease cause,s they get told to fuck off millions of us are in distress
I’m finally gonna have to get it shaved, dunno how short to go, but the thinning on top is pretty noticable. Shit state of affairs, now the woman will actually be a problem rather than some fun. Maybe. Ah, who the fuck knows, who the fuck cares. Life is life, fucked if I’m gonna let it get me down, we do have the all important hat… Or a very impressive head tatoo…. tatoo tatoo. That how it’s spelt? mmm. lick my balding head bitch
It would be best to find a cure. Some people do look very bad bald. I agree with the second comment. The hair industry is a 70 billion dollar business including pharmacy drugs, surgery and the rug business not to mention the endless potions that do not work. If bald were so great there would be none of this. I have fought it since 19 and it ruined my life. I am undergoing corrective surgery and for the first time seeing something positive – more hair – the more I see the happier I am. Bald is beautiful is BS!
you guys are idiots for freaking out about it.. I get a ton of pussy, more than ever actually since I started buzzing my head.
If i could id scalp an indian and have a full head of hair, its not fair! I used to have a full head of hair that was down to the middle of my back, now …Gone!!! I cant stand to see anything that even looks bald. And kids are always the ones to say something. They cant send a man to the moon but cant find a cure for being bald. It just proves that god just might be a woman.
I am going bold and have been for years but have been using cover up sprays for years ,thats ok when you have only lost a little hair ,but when it gets worse it will have to come off .I wish i would have shaved it off years ago when it first started to go and saved a shit load of money ,know when i shave it off people will say why did you do that you had a great head of hair its got to come off soon.
I think that going bald is kinda cool and I think it is also a turn on for women. Mike from kansas city vacation guide
Ok seriously now…there is more to life than the way you look. Stop sitting inside infront of the computer all day looking at unobtainable definitions of masculinity because it isnt healthy. Also- pussy CANT be that important, seriously man up, stop bitching about hair like a bunch of women and remeber that there is more to you than the hair on your head, or lack of for that matter. Go out and make something happen-way healthier, way more attractive than just whining, if attractivness is REALLY that important…only in the western world where people have nothing better to worry about. BTW Sipowich is the man…
i dont care what anybody says, the vast majority of women prefer men with hair. Thats just the way it works unfortunately, I’ve been slowly going bald since 8th grade at age 14, And Im currently an almost 19 year old college freshmen and the top of my head is getting really thin. Ive never had a girlfriend or any friends for that matter as it is, always been made fun of and had major social problems. I just cant deal with people. I realize that there is a definite possibility that I will be 50, 60, perhaps even die as a lonely virgin with no friends because of my social problems, and girls hate me anyway, so fuck it. Im depressed about my loneliness and inability to relate to people, and its made me very angry as well from all the rejection, but I theres nothing I can do about it so whatever… Lifes a bitch when you got shitty genetics
Life is more than hair and yes it makes life easier to a degree. BUT life is short and their are many other problems to worry about other than this, when we fixate on things they own us, but when we own us we don’t fixate. By the way I know many guys with great hair who just waste it anyway. Think about it you could be short or have a fucked up grill or even worse you could be blind. Real men know that this sucks but have enough perspective no to fixate on the problem and let it own their lives. I have struggled with this for awhile but am done for good.Life’s short so play with what you got.
ok…seriously. it’s B-A-L-D
I guess we could all become obsessed over the fact that we’re losing hair, but why bother worrying about it? It’s something that’s completely out of our control. My advice: shave it, grow some facial hair and you’ll be all set. Don’t be ashamed of your baldness, embrace it! Say to yourself, “Look at me, world, I’m bald and I could give less than a shit about what you think.”
I’m starting to consider wearing a stupid hat, I’m tall, muscular and decent looking but this hair thing is really screwing me over its hard to cover up in the front just behind the hairline…
For Real, if you’re goin bald…shave it!! I took propecia for 6 months, had some hair grow back. Then I thought do I really wanna put these chemicals into my body for the rest of my life?? ( also noticed softening effect on my muscles….Have weight trained for years )Im only 26. Not bald, but balding at the front.
Regardless of how shit you feel going bald, you look like an absolute wanker trying to cover it up!
Take a deep breath shave it off and become something different…..
You ain’t bald, are you.
sir , im in the same boat as u , but only a year older……..life has been ruined before it started
look bud i started losing my hair at 17 and now im 23 and losing it bad. I decided to shave it off but i can tell you one thing ok the guys that tell you girls really care about hair are fucken stupid and virgins belive me if you going it going on in your head and know how to work them theres no stoping you figure out how to interact and have confidence and high self essteem trust me buddy ive had a bunch of hot ass girls and im short and going bald and these chicks look like supermodels but its all about how you come across so get your shit straight.
I really get fed up with people who say you just need to shave your head. It might make you look tough, but it also makes you look rough. My frustration with my hair loss is that I cannot project an image of myself which is representative of who I am. A shaved head would have been out of character when I had hair, and that doesn’t change just because I’m losing it. Other people in my office who have had to shave their heads because of hair loss look terrible.
I’ve been balding since 20 and although I’ve gotten over it from a relationship and career perspective now I still hate looking in the mirror. Shaving my head will only make that worse.
I’ll be getting a hair transplant as soon as I know how extensive my loss will be (I lost loads in the space of 3 months which seemed to be TE which has never grown back but since then I’ve lost hardly any more, some seven years later) and hopefully by then the new hair multiplication techniques will be available.
Hi guys, I am 18 this year and I just shaved my head today because my haircut didnt turn out to be good. My hair used to be a crewcut style which is by choice due to my country’s humid weather(Singapore) and my active participation in sports.
Initially I cldnt accept the fact that my haircut went wrong and I just came back from the mall with a beanie to hide it. Although some may say a crewcut is almost similar to bald but the change affected my mood for the whole day significantly. My friends who went with me to buy the beanie laughed and said it was horrible. I was worried about people staring and the public awkwardness.
As I read the following comments, I felt that I was not alone and that I should just man up and stop whining over it. There are more serious things to worry about. And as one of the comment states , we are more than the hair or lack thereoff on top of our heads. Its amazing how people who are worse off than us have more self esteem and sensibility to deal with it rather than fretting constantly over it like us “normal” people.
So now, I finally took off my beanie and aint gonna give a shit as to what people think or react. I want to thank you all for giving me the courage to accept my baldness for the next 2 weeks or so before my hair grows back to my usual length. With that, have a nice day guys and keep fighting the good fight.
Going bald? Make a shit ton of money, problem solved.
Haha, “dont fight, accept”.
Great article, I literally laughed the whole way through.
This is why I visit holytaco daily!
- Free Flash Games
If your bald and havin trouble with the ladies my advice is this… rohypnol
Make no doubt about it, if you’re bald your going to have an uphill battle for pussy the rest of your life. No matter how many ways you spin it you got dealt a bad hand in life.
fuck you, you shallow mother fucker
FUCK YOU MR BAHLLS/
so wat if i <3 da cawk. YOU CANT STOP DNT HATE DISCRIMNATET MODA FUKA
I think MJ could still grow a full head of fro if he tried.
This is totally great tutorial, I hope I wont ever have to deal with going bald.
Mike Crabe
Hard to say as he has been bald for decades.
nice try…i bet you’re as bald as ryan seacrest’s nutsack (it’s very bald, don’t ask me how i know…but let’s just say that if you’re drunk and you drop your keys near an american idol audition site, you should just kick your keys all the way home instead of bending over to pick it up).
6. don’t blog about it, you may make yourself feel better about it, but it won’t change the way anyone else thinks about you – to them you’re still balding and overcompensating.
I personally don’t understand why guys with MPB don’t just do the deed and shave it all off. I have a full head of hair, people insist I have a two head instead of a forehead because my hairline is very low. I started shaving my head for sports in high school and found it to be a helluva lot easier to manage and deal with than hair. I’ve been shaving my head everyday for almost 7 years and can’t imagine ever having hair. Sometimes I wish MPB would hit me so I wouldn’t have to shave as much. Sly Bald Guys rock and ladies love us.
I agree with the first individual. I too am bald but not by choice. I hate seeing people who try to fight the fact that they are going bald. Hand me a razor and some shaving cream. No more waiting in barbershops, just 5 minutes and I’m out. Surprise interview…no problem. Waist a whole lunch hour to go get your hair cut….crazy. Bald works for me. One suggestion for some of you…if you gonna be bald, hit the gym. There is nothing worst than a weak, scrawny bald guy…i.e. (my boss, who will be bald soon).
Works for you BECAUSE SHAVING YOUR HEAD IS ACCEPTABLE. Believe me, if it wasn’t (like many years ago) shaving your head would be out of the question.
Got a good 30 years to get ripped when I start balding at 50 hehehe
Yeah! Red Lobster sucks!
As someone who was informed of his bald spot by the girl sitting behind him in 1st period senior year of high school, I agree with Mr. Balls assessment.
how in the hell is lardass from NYPD blue an inspiration? i mean aside from an inspiration to work out that is!