Your hair is falling out. It sucks but it's not the end of the world, it's just really really close to the end of the world. Here's some tips on how to deal:
1. Don't fight, accept.
Your hair, much like Arrested Development, is not coming back no matter how great it was. You can't fight baldness and win. It's like your girlfriend, the more you fight it, the worse you look, and the less your chances are of getting laid.
2. Look for inspiring bald guys.
There's lots of bald guys that women find attractive. Lots! There's that one guy... on that one show... I think. Whatever, the point is there are some. Find one that inspires you!
3. Look at the positives.
When you had hair, everyone knew you were a pussy because you already looked like one. If you're bald and you shave your head, you'll look tough and people will have to confront you to find out you're a pussy, which happens way less.
4. Embrace your new team.
You're now part of a select group of men. Just like how the Kansas City Royals are part of a select group of Major League Baseball players. Help out your fellow bald men and together, there's nothing you can't accomplish!
5. Don't make fun of yourself.
Does a waiter tell you the food you ordered tastes like shit right before he serves you? Maybe only at Red Lobster. Otherwise no way! So don't you go putting yourself down either! Confidence is key. Believe you're a stud and women will either believe you, or think you must have a really big penis since there's no way you could be confident being so bald. Either way, you win!
Make no doubt about it, if you're bald your going to have an uphill battle for pussy the rest of your life. No matter how many ways you spin it you got dealt a bad hand in life.
nice try...i bet you're as bald as ryan seacrest's nutsack (it's very bald, don't ask me how i know...but let's just say that if you're drunk and you drop your keys near an american idol audition site, you should just kick your keys all the way home instead of bending over to pick it up).
6. don't blog about it, you may make yourself feel better about it, but it won't change the way anyone else thinks about you - to them you're still balding and overcompensating.
I personally don't understand why guys with MPB don't just do the deed and shave it all off. I have a full head of hair, people insist I have a two head instead of a forehead because my hairline is very low. I started shaving my head for sports in high school and found it to be a helluva lot easier to manage and deal with than hair. I've been shaving my head everyday for almost 7 years and can't imagine ever having hair. Sometimes I wish MPB would hit me so I wouldn't have to shave as much. Sly Bald Guys rock and ladies love us.
I agree with the first individual. I too am bald but not by choice. I hate seeing people who try to fight the fact that they are going bald. Hand me a razor and some shaving cream. No more waiting in barbershops, just 5 minutes and I'm out. Surprise interview...no problem. Waist a whole lunch hour to go get your hair cut....crazy. Bald works for me. One suggestion for some of you...if you gonna be bald, hit the gym. There is nothing worst than a weak, scrawny bald guy...i.e. (my boss, who will be bald soon).
As someone who was informed of his bald spot by the girl sitting behind him in 1st period senior year of high school, I agree with Mr. Balls assessment.
I've gold bold already at the age of 25... so before it looked any worse I shaved the lot off and fucking love it.
Everyone said I look better, and I also look more hard! And if anything I feel better talking to ladys as I know I aint got that little bold patch she might see... best thing i've done!
I started balding at the age of 12. I was that kid you knew in high school. You know the one. The only teenager in the whole school who was going bald. Every big city high school has one of us.
it,s all bullshit fuck sake it needs a cure admit are lives are shit because of it i got told in class 25 years ago fucked my life up before it got started i,ve never been the same since as for women i don,t wanna go near them because of it if anyone asks me money for poxy disease cause,s they get told to fuck off millions of us are in distress
I'm finally gonna have to get it shaved, dunno how short to go, but the thinning on top is pretty noticable. Shit state of affairs, now the woman will actually be a problem rather than some fun. Maybe. Ah, who the fuck knows, who the fuck cares. Life is life, fucked if I'm gonna let it get me down, we do have the all important hat... Or a very impressive head tatoo.... tatoo tatoo. That how it's spelt? mmm. lick my balding head bitch
It would be best to find a cure. Some people do look very bad bald. I agree with the second comment. The hair industry is a 70 billion dollar business including pharmacy drugs, surgery and the rug business not to mention the endless potions that do not work. If bald were so great there would be none of this. I have fought it since 19 and it ruined my life. I am undergoing corrective surgery and for the first time seeing something positive - more hair - the more I see the happier I am. Bald is beautiful is BS!
If i could id scalp an indian and have a full head of hair, its not fair! I used to have a full head of hair that was down to the middle of my back, now ...Gone!!! I cant stand to see anything that even looks bald. And kids are always the ones to say something. They cant send a man to the moon but cant find a cure for being bald. It just proves that god just might be a woman.
I am going bold and have been for years but have been using cover up sprays for years ,thats ok when you have only lost a little hair ,but when it gets worse it will have to come off .I wish i would have shaved it off years ago when it first started to go and saved a shit load of money ,know when i shave it off people will say why did you do that you had a great head of hair its got to come off soon.
Mr Balls is an absolute prick, but he's right!
I have had long blond/brown hair for the past 6 years. Im now in my mid/late twenties and its becoming noticably thinner!
My pussy level is already starting to decrease!
I have seriously pulled over 10 chicks who have chatted me up about or wanted to touch my hair!
Shallow but a womans a woman at the end of the day!
I really have a problem with getting bold right now...And I really need to know what to take in order to get rid of this problem. Last year I`ve been to a drug detox center and since then I started to lose my hair. If anyone have any treatment for this, please reply me in a comment.
I'm 23 and going bald plus I'm fat i will never talk to a women without giving my credit card number again i hate life and i wish i was dead and will prolly kill myself before 30
Ok seriously now...there is more to life than the way you look. Stop sitting inside infront of the computer all day looking at unobtainable definitions of masculinity because it isnt healthy. Also- pussy CANT be that important, seriously man up, stop bitching about hair like a bunch of women and remeber that there is more to you than the hair on your head, or lack of for that matter. Go out and make something happen-way healthier, way more attractive than just whining, if attractivness is REALLY that important...only in the western world where people have nothing better to worry about. BTW Sipowich is the man...
(27 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
December 9th, 2008 at 04:47 pm
Make no doubt about it, if you're bald your going to have an uphill battle for pussy the rest of your life. No matter how many ways you spin it you got dealt a bad hand in life.
February 10th, 2009 at 07:13 pm
fuck you, you shallow mother fucker
December 9th, 2008 at 04:54 pm
I think MJ could still grow a full head of fro if he tried.
January 16th, 2009 at 11:49 am
This is totally great tutorial, I hope I wont ever have to deal with going bald.
Mike Crabe
December 9th, 2008 at 05:11 pm
nice try...i bet you're as bald as ryan seacrest's nutsack (it's very bald, don't ask me how i know...but let's just say that if you're drunk and you drop your keys near an american idol audition site, you should just kick your keys all the way home instead of bending over to pick it up).
6. don't blog about it, you may make yourself feel better about it, but it won't change the way anyone else thinks about you - to them you're still balding and overcompensating.
December 9th, 2008 at 05:46 pm
I personally don't understand why guys with MPB don't just do the deed and shave it all off. I have a full head of hair, people insist I have a two head instead of a forehead because my hairline is very low. I started shaving my head for sports in high school and found it to be a helluva lot easier to manage and deal with than hair. I've been shaving my head everyday for almost 7 years and can't imagine ever having hair. Sometimes I wish MPB would hit me so I wouldn't have to shave as much. Sly Bald Guys rock and ladies love us.
December 9th, 2008 at 06:16 pm
I agree with the first individual. I too am bald but not by choice. I hate seeing people who try to fight the fact that they are going bald. Hand me a razor and some shaving cream. No more waiting in barbershops, just 5 minutes and I'm out. Surprise interview...no problem. Waist a whole lunch hour to go get your hair cut....crazy. Bald works for me. One suggestion for some of you...if you gonna be bald, hit the gym. There is nothing worst than a weak, scrawny bald guy...i.e. (my boss, who will be bald soon).
December 9th, 2008 at 09:18 pm
Got a good 30 years to get ripped when I start balding at 50 hehehe
December 9th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Yeah! Red Lobster sucks!
December 10th, 2008 at 05:57 am
As someone who was informed of his bald spot by the girl sitting behind him in 1st period senior year of high school, I agree with Mr. Balls assessment.
December 10th, 2008 at 05:59 am
how in the hell is lardass from NYPD blue an inspiration? i mean aside from an inspiration to work out that is!
December 10th, 2008 at 09:39 am
Haha Newt! You poor bastard, sucks to be you....
December 10th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I've gold bold already at the age of 25... so before it looked any worse I shaved the lot off and fucking love it.
Everyone said I look better, and I also look more hard! And if anything I feel better talking to ladys as I know I aint got that little bold patch she might see... best thing i've done!
December 12th, 2008 at 01:43 am
I started balding at the age of 12. I was that kid you knew in high school. You know the one. The only teenager in the whole school who was going bald. Every big city high school has one of us.
December 13th, 2008 at 06:48 pm
it,s all bullshit fuck sake it needs a cure admit are lives are shit because of it i got told in class 25 years ago fucked my life up before it got started i,ve never been the same since as for women i don,t wanna go near them because of it if anyone asks me money for poxy disease cause,s they get told to fuck off millions of us are in distress
December 14th, 2008 at 03:24 pm
I'm finally gonna have to get it shaved, dunno how short to go, but the thinning on top is pretty noticable. Shit state of affairs, now the woman will actually be a problem rather than some fun. Maybe. Ah, who the fuck knows, who the fuck cares. Life is life, fucked if I'm gonna let it get me down, we do have the all important hat... Or a very impressive head tatoo.... tatoo tatoo. That how it's spelt? mmm. lick my balding head bitch
December 15th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
It would be best to find a cure. Some people do look very bad bald. I agree with the second comment. The hair industry is a 70 billion dollar business including pharmacy drugs, surgery and the rug business not to mention the endless potions that do not work. If bald were so great there would be none of this. I have fought it since 19 and it ruined my life. I am undergoing corrective surgery and for the first time seeing something positive - more hair - the more I see the happier I am. Bald is beautiful is BS!
December 21st, 2008 at 05:06 pm
you guys are idiots for freaking out about it.. I get a ton of pussy, more than ever actually since I started buzzing my head.
January 27th, 2009 at 02:14 pm
I think that going bald is kinda cool and I think it is also a turn on for women. Mike from kansas city vacation guide
December 24th, 2008 at 05:34 pm
If i could id scalp an indian and have a full head of hair, its not fair! I used to have a full head of hair that was down to the middle of my back, now ...Gone!!! I cant stand to see anything that even looks bald. And kids are always the ones to say something. They cant send a man to the moon but cant find a cure for being bald. It just proves that god just might be a woman.
January 28th, 2009 at 09:33 am
I am going bold and have been for years but have been using cover up sprays for years ,thats ok when you have only lost a little hair ,but when it gets worse it will have to come off .I wish i would have shaved it off years ago when it first started to go and saved a shit load of money ,know when i shave it off people will say why did you do that you had a great head of hair its got to come off soon.
March 12th, 2009 at 05:01 pm
Mr Balls is an absolute prick, but he's right!
I have had long blond/brown hair for the past 6 years. Im now in my mid/late twenties and its becoming noticably thinner!
My pussy level is already starting to decrease!
I have seriously pulled over 10 chicks who have chatted me up about or wanted to touch my hair!
Shallow but a womans a woman at the end of the day!
March 28th, 2009 at 01:01 pm
As someone who was informed of his bald spot by the girl sitting behind him in 1st period senior year of high school
Mike from petites annonces
May 17th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I really have a problem with getting bold right now...And I really need to know what to take in order to get rid of this problem. Last year I`ve been to a drug detox center and since then I started to lose my hair. If anyone have any treatment for this, please reply me in a comment.
July 12th, 2009 at 03:15 am
I'm 23 and going bald plus I'm fat i will never talk to a women without giving my credit card number again i hate life and i wish i was dead and will prolly kill myself before 30
August 25th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Ok seriously now...there is more to life than the way you look. Stop sitting inside infront of the computer all day looking at unobtainable definitions of masculinity because it isnt healthy. Also- pussy CANT be that important, seriously man up, stop bitching about hair like a bunch of women and remeber that there is more to you than the hair on your head, or lack of for that matter. Go out and make something happen-way healthier, way more attractive than just whining, if attractivness is REALLY that important...only in the western world where people have nothing better to worry about. BTW Sipowich is the man...
September 22nd, 2009 at 02:44 pm
ok...seriously. it's B-A-L-D
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