How To: Deal with Your Landlord

We've all been in this predicament before:  Your landlord shows up demanding the rent money, and you don't have it.  Of course, you can't tell the landlord that.  You're going to have to lie to him profusely.  It can be tricky, but luckily we're here to show you the right and wrong way to do it:

 

 

 

Faking the right medical condition can get you out of a landlord encounter every time.  Unfortunately, deafness is a tough condition to live up to.  It's pretty hard to fake being deaf, because most of our sense of hearing happens automatically, so even if you try to pretend not to hear, you're eventually going to show the telltale signs of hearing something and blow your cover.  Like, if somebody happens to turn on a porno, you're definitely going to look over as soon as you hear sex moans. It's inevitable.  Also, if you find yourself in a conversation with your landlord about not paying the rent on time, try not to insult him by calling him gay.  That's like getting a light bulb stuck up your butt, and then trying to get that lightbulb out with your own penis: you're just gonna end up f*cking yourself.

 

 

 

Once again, the Fake Ailment technique was used, but this time with startling success.  This is because he chose a vague, yet familiar illness: cancer.  Also, he referenced a movie that the landlord enjoyed, Phenomenon, and then created a comparison that the landlord could understand.  The renter was careful not to dig himself into a hole by promising to cure the landlord's ailing son, but he did offer an alternative to miracle healing, and even managed to get another month's worth of rent for free.  All in all, this was a well-played landlord encounter, and something that we can all learn a thing or two from...mainly, that cancer is pretty easy to fake.