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How The Frat Guy’s Mind Works

Everyone’s brain works differently. Here’s the journey a thought goes through in a frat guy’s brain. Start at "Am I Talking To Someone With Boobs" and work counter-clockwise.
 
 
 
THE "AM I TALKING TO SOMEONE WITH BOOBS" STAGE:
This is the first stage any frat guy’s thought goes through. If the answer is no, the thought continues on its full course through the brain. If the answer is yes, then he defaults to a series of scripted phrases that are used solely for the purpose of having sex with the boobed person he is talking to. Some common phrases are:
  • "I can’t believe you wrote a ten-page paper. That’s crazy!"
  • "I got a case of Zima at my parent’s summer house."
  • "You’re from [insert name of city/state]. I grew up near there!"
  • "I eat meat, but I am also a "Vag"-atarian."
  • "What made you want to major in [insert name of major]."
 
THE OLD SCHOOL QUOTE GENERATOR:
The process continues as the thought arrives here, where it’s checked to see whether or not it can be scrapped, and replaced with a quote from the film "Old School." When confronted with everyday statements such as, "Do we need some more milk," "I’m having dinner with my parents tomorrow," or "What’s on TV," the frat guy can (and will) respond with some of these common quotes:
  • "You’re my boy, Blue!"
  • "We’re going streaking!"
  • "Once it hits your lips! It’s so good!"
  • "Earmuffs!"

 
 
THE EMBELLISHMENT STAGE:
Since the frat guy is under constant pressure to one-up his "Bros," every thought must enter the Embellishment Stage. At this point, the thought is "enhanced" with the addition of sexual conquest numbers or amount of alcohol intake to make tthis thought more appealing to its audience. An example:
 
Original Thought:
During Christmas, I saw a woman I went to high school with.
 
After It Has Gone Through The Embellishment Lobe:
When I went back home, I saw this big-tittied chick that I boned right after our homecoming game when I ran over this 265 pound black dude to score the winning TD. I had, like, 30 brew-dawgs that night, too.
 
 
THE "WHO TO RIDICULE" STAGE:
If a frat guy is not currently "boning some slut," getting "totally demolished at keggers," or "partying my face off," then his self-esteem can get dangerously low. At this point, the frat guy feels the need to put down others, which, in his eyes, restores him to his rightful place as Alpha Dog. If a frat guy’s ego is fragile when a thought enters this stage, he immediately aborts his current thought and scans the area for possible targets and begins a harsh barrage of insults. Some common examples:
  • "Hey, look at the nerd. What a stupid nerd."
  • "Fat girl alert. Three o’clock."
  • "Yo, why are those Argentinians always hanging out here?"
  • "Check out those fags, bro. Total fags."
 
 
THE "WORDS TO END SENTENCES WITH" STAGE:
No frat guy thought is complete without a one-word description of the person you’re speaking with.  It can be either be the opposite of that person, e.g. (when leaving after hanging out with a group of friends) "Later, fags."  Or it can be an aggressive derrogatory remark meant to engage someone in a possible phsyical altercation (When leaving after hanging out with a group of enemies) "Later, fags.
 
 

156 Responses to "How The Frat Guy’s Mind Works"

  1. Anonymous says:

    fraternities are covers for gay ass-pounding sleepovers, this is fact. the only thing getting rushed is your sphincter.

  2. Greg says:

    Jason, man, relax. This is obviously ridiculing the frat boy stereotype you see in movies.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Methinks a blogger is jealous.

  4. Anonymous says:

    @ Jason

    I am sorry but it is time to face it that there are members of fraternities that act like this (I know some and I know some more that don’t act as the “comedic” chart implies). Just like every other group in the world has people that act like assholes that affect the opinions of how society see the group as a whole, christians, muslims, etc. All of these have the same problems. Just because you paid money to get into it doesn’t grant you immunity from being ridiculed.

    Also it is easier to have a higher average when your group has a minimum of usually 2.0 on GPA’s and smaller than the other groups being compared. Just like you can’t help people who represent frats being dicks, we can’t make every dumbass study.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I went to a major college in Los Angeles in the mid ’90s and lived in a house right around the corner from “Frat Row.” The shit I heard out my window is pretty much in line with what you see here. I also heard a lot more disturbing shit, like hazing activities. At 3 in the morning, you would be surprised how much the drunken frat boys really, really want to see that garden hose shoved up the young recruit’s “lily white ass.” Disturbing, sick shit. Yeah, I called campus security, to no avail. So I called the police the next time, to even less results. At least campus security suspended these guys for two days!

  6. Anonymous says:

    join a real gang…

  7. Anonymous says:

    this is so true! because in real life people conform to every low budget college-comedy movie stereotype, and actually act out and say the asinine things that hollywood writers 20 years out of college believe its like.

  8. David says:

    Eh, depends on the fraternity, some are like that, some aren’t. I’ve met guys from other fraternities who are exactly like that and other guys who are polar opposites. Of course they don’t laid very often but whose keeping track right?

  9. HeHateMe says:

    When I got to college there was a rush event across the street I went to. Typical frat guy was giving us the low down on frat life-”yeah we like to party, if u need to study you can always find someone to study with you, but we know how to party, and we play IM sports, but we party most weekends”…and this continued for 5 minutes. At the point he realized he was losing me and my roommate he brought over the “smart kid in the frat” and told us how many credits he was taking. Wow 21 that’s impressive…..”yeah well I’m on academic probation so I guess I need to party less.
    Reason’s I didn’t join:
    I don’t want to pay someone elses beer tab.
    I can make my own friends.
    I value sleep.
    I don’t want to be someone’s bitch for a year.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Actually, you get exactly what you pay for:
    You pay for your rent in the house; for your food; for your attendance at parties, events, celebrations; plus sometimes a shirt, or a sweater; And occassionally for charitable donations (in my experience usually an optional cost seperate from dues). The ability to make friends is usually a result of the whole “people/social skills” thing.

    I am It’d be really cool to be all high and mighty and think that’s ridiculous somehow and that I’m a mindless drone force fed that response, but sadly no. In truth, I paid just as much to my university for the same. People join fraternities for personal reasons, much like everything else they do. If people like this guy above want to somehow think that a simple affiliation is proof positive of some ignorant stereotype, well, by all means go for it. I’ll never run need to tolerate him or her in real life I’m sure.

    That being said, I take the graphic for what it is: entertainment. To that end, I think it’s pretty funny.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I’m not in a frat, but they were created for getting laid and getting in with the fat in the old boys club

  12. Anonymous says:

    This was the fraternity man of the 80′s and 90′s. The Greek system is actually turning around and the men are more respectable now, not the people you make them out to be. There’s a thing called risk management tat was developed and now the fraternities are going back to the old days. Thanks for the dated stereotypes. Real cool dude.

  13. PhratGuy says:

    Where the jager-bombs at?!? Bitches!

  14. John Dawson says:

    LMAO, aint it the truth bro! Well done!

    RT
    http://www.privacy-center.pro.tc

  15. I-Banking Broseph says:

    Haha I’m just picturing a bunch of very effeminate males writing this and giggling and high-fiving while letting each other know how clever and witty they are.

  16. ashenfenix says:

    the intentions may be good, the fact is you’re paying money to just more intimate with a bunch of other guys with a super macho overtone to make it seem okay. it feels more emblematic of a society that frowns upon close relationships between men. i don’t mean for that to be an insult thats what i feel the root of the issue is. also, alot of frat guys are dicks. i get it. my “secret club ” phase ended at about 15. get over it, just get to know people and make friends by meeting them. damn

  17. beel says:

    I was awakened from a sound sleep one night by the sound of a frat boy president slapping his “girlfriend”. Since then every woman I’ve been involved with has described fraternity people in one way- drunken rapists. Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Oh stop bitching. This article does describe every sing frat guy, especially in the South! I go to a University where the Greek system is apparently a big fucking deal and this article is dead on. Even if it’s not how you or your “brothers” (smirk) are, stop whining like a baby it’s a joke. I am sure if they were making generalizations about some other group or organization you would be laughing your asses off.

  19. Anonymous says:

    a) most fraternities expressly forbid fraternity funds paying for alcoholic beverages
    b) the fact that you think that fraternity guys are paying to make friends only shows how much you misunderstand the whole system
    c) so does everyone else
    d) neither does anyone else. there are fraternities that have been around for a long time that reject the standard hazing and secrets bullshit.

  20. Anonymous says:

    well put

  21. Anonymous says:

    insecure are we?

  22. Jason says:

    Obviously the writers of both this article and these ridiculous comments have never actually learned anything about men in fraternities, other than perhaps watching a few comedy movies. Greek organizations have higher campus involvement across the board, have produced 17 of the last 25 Presidents of this country, and are generally better off than their non-Greek counterparts after college. So ridicule us if you feel it necessary; we’ll be busy taking solace in the fact that we will, in all likelihood, be richer, happier, and more successful than you. And to the person who mentioned the old (and frankly tired) stereotype of “paying for your friends” I have a question for you. If a person paying to live in the dorms makes friends with his roommate, is he paying for his friends? If someone moves into an apartment building and befriends the guy two doors down, is he paying for his friends? If you pay the taxes in your city and get to know your neighbors, are you paying for your friends?

    Next time you morons decide to talk about something you don’t understand, why don’t you just shove your thumb up your ass and focus on a topic you can at least vaguely comprehend.

  23. Anonymous says:

    hater.

  24. go knicks! says:

    wow, you’re so cool.

  25. Anonymous says:

    You see, I think it is funny that you list these for reasons people hate frats. From what I have noticed, a lot of the kids that join frats do so because they ARE socially awkward, they are too scared to break out of their shell on their own and resort to paying money for their friends… or should I say their “brothers”. haha If you want my respect don’t be afraid to be your own person and break into the college seen a true individual, make new friends on your own, not in a house… network yourself, not through a frat.

  26. Jack says:

    Stereotypes come from somewhere. There are exceptions but I deal with this crap every time I go out. I know some good frat guys but the vast majority of them make the others look like complete assholes.

  27. Bill says:

    A bunch of Isaak Hayes’ after the Scientology episode of South Park.

    Some of the commenters have taught me that fraternities now a days might not be good at taking a joke or applying a reference to an amusing stereotype rather than a to real individuals. While I acknowledge the tarnished image of fraternities I think that the best thing to correct that image would probably be continuing to support the positive actions that several of you have spoken of rather than allowing people to read your comments and say “stupid frat boys cant take a joke.”

  28. Anonymous says:

    Jason, there you go continuing the stereotype. What’s with always wanting to shove something up a dude’s ass?
    Also, I’m wondering if any of you notice a difference between frat boys at colleges out in the sticks and frat boys at colleges that are more urban.
    I go to a college in the city and hardly notice the stereotypical frat boy but i’ve also visited some friends who go to colleges out in the sticks and they’re literally everywhere you look.

  29. dub says:

    fucking skanks.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Frat fucks just drink, rape girls and jerk off their fellow brethren in the shower. They are a waste to society as whole. Every now and then one guy from each house will actually have aspirations in life…that is rare though.

  31. Anonymous says:

    hahaha person who didn’t get a bid

  32. Anonymous says:

    I never wanted to join a frat because i was already the shit and new people in there already. why pay for my friends when i can just drink their free beer and f their chicks

  33. Anonymous says:

    a) looks good on paper, but how true is that? you and i know.
    b) the fact that you think that fraternity guys are NOT paying to make friends only shows how you can justify being part the whole system. some of the dues I’ve heard people pay to belong in a frat/sorority are ridiculous.
    c) so does everyone else. unless you like to be woken up in the middle of the night to have to run laps around the track.
    d) uh huh. i went to a tier 1 university and there were still stories of haz…oh wait, maybe they called it team-building or establishing brotherhood.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I work in IT.

    All I know is that most of the former frats I work(ed) with are kind of annoying once you get past their false, brotherly front. They don’t seem to continue their education at all, and frequently spout knowledge/suggestions/ideas that’ve been obsolete for years. I can’t expect anyone to comprehend how terrible this is without having had worked in a situation detailed as such.

    So, following the stereotype that exists whether some of you like it or not: If you want a position of authority that doesn’t require knowledge of job position and accordingly, make tons of money regardless of the fact, join a non-progressive fraternity! You’ll be set for life…

  35. Anonymous says:

    I was in a fraternity for 2 years… this article, despite its lack of evidence or support, is pretty much spot on. Of course, it does not take into account the nearly 1% (wow) that actually do some good for their communities and schools. The movies aren’t simply perpetuating stereotypes… they exemplify truth to a very large extent.

  36. Anonymous says:

    Paying to live in a property or paying the goverment and paying to be part of a group are two different things. If I pay rent and don’t talk to my neighbors, I got exactly what I paid for, a roof over my head. If I pay my taxes and don’t talk to my neighbors, I got exactly what I paid for, not getting kicked out by the city. If I pay to be part of a frat and I don’t talk to anybody in the frat, then I didn’t get what I paid for. Does this logic make sense to you?

    And I’m just curious which frat handed this cute little paragraph to you to make you memorize so when this moment arrived you could be the valiant knight with the irrefutable logic? Bro?

  37. Anonymous says:

    Duuuuuuuuuude. I got sooooooooooo wasted last night.
    (waits for hi-5)

  38. YOUR FUTURE BOSS says:

    Rip on the greek system all you want but the fact is that most of the influential figures in sports, politics, and fortune 500 CEO’s/leaders in this country have been in the greek system. It provides a vast networking system for members to connect. Not to mention there are many advantages to being in a fraternity. Being able to help out the community through organized activites. Donating to charity. The greek system at my school donates over 2 million dollars a year to cancer. Another plus is there are regular events to meet new individuals throughout the greek system. Why wouldn’t you want to meet more people?! Life is about networking and meeting new people. I went to a school with over 30,000 students. If you want to meet a good amount of people a good way to do it is through the greek system. I had two jobs and was in the greek system while attending school. It was just a way for me to meet new people. Was I paying for my friends? Hell no..Do I like everyone in my fraternity. Hell no! You’re not always going to like everyone.

    Most people don’t like frats because

    1. You would never get in/ or you didn’t get a bid
    2. You are socially awkward
    3. You don’t understand the concept that knowing people gets you places.
    4. You are too afraid of negative stereotypes
    5. You only want to be friends with your highschool friends in college rather than break out of your shell.

    DON’T KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU TRY IT. NOT ALL FRATS ARE THE SAME SO TO GENERALIZE IS JUST PLAIN IGNORANCE.

  39. saturdaysfinest says:

    The arrogance of the fraternity members in this comment section is truly telling…

  40. Anonymous says:

    Going greek is nothing bad, it can be if you let it but it can also be positive. I joined a sorority and i learned how to manage time, money (like bills, because i lived in the house, and the whole time i kept a full time job and took 5 classes a semester and didnt fail 1. I am now in my junior year of college and am graduating a semester early. Its all on how the person decides to get out of it. AND alot of times being in a fraternity or sorority canh help get jobs because of connections.

  41. notadouche says:

    now i know the stereotypes aren’t for everybody, but the overwhelming majority of frat guys that i know (including 3-4 of my friends) fit the profile and have average/less than average grades. there’s this frat douche in some of my EE classes, and he barely squeaks by. once he was in one of my project groups, and instead of meeting with us one Friday, he “had a party he couldn’t miss” and fucked some way-too-drunk slut, then bragged about it while we congratulated him for not helping us with the project. and they wear those gay hollister shirts and frayed backwards hats.

    IMO, it seems all they care about is “scorin’ some pussy” to assert that they’re manlier or something, by getting with some drunk finance chick that 100 other guys have plowed.

    and just cuz you’re in a frat doesn’t mean you’re the only ones who help the community… at my school, there are countless clubs and service groups that will take anyone who wants to help.

  42. Anonymous says:

    This is perfect. A HUGE majority of frat kids, and others are exactly like this. If anything, college taught me how to avoid hiring and promoting people like this because they’re so narrow-minded and short-sighted. Anybody like this (and there are a lot of them) are extremely stupid. They are only capable of stating the obvious and/or asking lame-ass questions. Exactly the kind of shit that lands you in an average job with an average salary with dumbass kids and a shitty marriage.

  43. Anonymous says:

    waist of time? :)

  44. Anonymous says:

    Haha that is so refreshing to hear as I enter the job market

  45. Jonny says:

    You’re both douchebags, but I’ve been surfing the internet for about half an hour now so I think I can safely say that everybody who exists is a douchebag. Including me for thinking I’m all that by pointing this out.

  46. shaggy says:

    WOW you guys are making too big of a deal about this, i’m in a fraternity and I think the pic is hilarious, and btw all houses and colleges are different, just because the frat boys at your school were douchebags that doesnt mean we all are

  47. Anonymous says:

    Hahahahaaa frat boys getting all insecure over this. The best one was that the people commenting were “deemed not worthy of a bid”. Frats will bid ANYBODY, hence the reason the intelligence/athletic/charisma/etc level of them is so low!

  48. Young Dude. says:

    suck my dick – Ron Jeremy!

    go cry a river cause you get laid out of pity once per year by your fat half cousin leslie. Think how bad your life sucks when you jerk to night, asshole.

  49. Anonymous says:

    I was expecting to laugh, but it’s just awkwardly written. I’m in a fraternity and was expecting to see something outrageous (like the “man’s remote” picture with two buttons, “sex” and “food”. Now THAT is some funny shit), but it feels like the writer was trying too hard to be funny. I’m not saying this stuff isn’t true, but it could definitely be more shockingly offensive (hence, funny).

  50. Anonymous says:

    Your not really in a fraternity are ya, stupid? Waist? What the fuck? Did you graduate fourth grade or are you still there?

  51. Pierre says:

    People who say “omg frats aren’t like that” should visit stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

  52. Bert says:

    Dude it’s etc, not ect …. fag.

  53. Anonymous says:

    shut up

  54. Anonymous says:

    I don’t think I’d want to belong to any group that calls themselves GREEK!

  55. Anonymous says:

    some frats are not like that

  56. Anonymous says:

    #1: If you wouldn’t call your country a cunt, then don’t refer to a fraternity as a frat.

    #2 The majority of these people commenting are gdi’s who were deemed unworthy of a bid, even by the lower tier houses that blanket bid. Since you’re not part of a fraternity, and thus not invited to parties, formals, etc your fragile ego is imbued with feelings of envy and self-pity, along with the feeling of being left out or excluded. Hence, your automatic reaction is a defense mechanism that finds any and all stock insults you can hurl at fraternity men.

    #3: Everyone in college drinks a shit ton, smokes some herb and tries to get laid. The only difference is that fraternity people are more visible because we roll in larger packs and late night or pre-game at the house, as well as have organized parties there. Being more visible than others makes you a target to be judged as a horny, alcoholic retard who cares more about being intoxicated than going to class.

    #4: Greek organizations raise more money for charitable purposes than non-greeks. We also donate more community service hours as well. Furthermore instead of going to class, taking notes and then parroting back the information for four years we actually confront challenges, accept leadership positions and work together. We plan parties, rush events, charity fundraisers, balance the chapter’s budget, plan alumni events and other things that gdis cannot do.

  57. Anonymous says:

    Right I’m sure you hire sooooo many people. You’re weak and so is your company.

  58. Anonymous says:

    tool-mcbaggins

  59. Anonymous says:

    I was in a fraternity during the 80′s at a big FL school for 2 years. I ran into some financial problems and decided that going inactive at my frat was the best thing i could do to save money. I planned on becoming active, after I could afford it again. The day after i told the fraternity my decision, my fellow “brothers” walked by me on campus as if I didn’t exist. Tell me its not about buying friends. The stereotype described does fit 90% of the people I knew. The good thing is my non frat friends welcomed me back with no problem. I just had to deal with the jokes about being a fraternity boy for a while.

  60. Anonymous says:

    the reasons people join frats

    -too white to join a real gang
    -too insecure/shallow to understand you don’t need people to fufill you or have others affirmation to make you feel like a somebody
    - like to show how you can pay for having others to do so
    -you’re spoiled and stepdad/mom is paying for it anyway
    -to get a thrill out of doing stupid stuff and knowing you’re likely not to get in trouble for it
    -can’t make your own friends pass your own exams.

  61. Anonymous says:

    Yo, thats about as lame as that bitch i banged last night, after drinking like 26 brews. Later fags.

  62. Anonymous says:

    Dig it. Ha-ha.

  63. Anonymous says:

    ya you don’t want to TRY TOO HARD do you frat boy? I mean if something requires more than 10 seconds to read then it’s probably not funny right?

    P.S Try not to hurt yourself while you are trying to figure out whether I am insulting you or agreeing with you here

  64. Anonymous says:

    I think that everyone of you needs to stop analyzing and bitching about a stupid picture and get out and live your fucking lives.
    Thank you that is all

  65. Anonymous says:

    This article characterizes around 5%-10% of frat guys, no surprise, the author makes it seem like 100% are like that, just like writers say all video games create violence, all Arabs are terrorists ect ect. Fraternity guys are just like the rest of college society, it’s just that we get far more attention.

  66. Anonymous says:

    For goodness sakes people. It’s a freakin’ joke. I’m a nerd, and I’m in a fraternity. You can’t laugh at others unless you can laugh at yourself, so go out and realize how you might fit some stereotypes too. Damn.

  67. Anonymous says:

    People, it is a fucking joke….get over it. I never joined any “Greek” organizations in college only because I never found it necessary to pay for friends. I knew plenty of people in frats and sororities, and they were fine…I also knew a lot that were complete douchebags and sorostitutes.

    What y’all need to understand is that this is an illustration to make people laugh a little, at themselves and others. “It makes it seem like 100% of frat boys are like this” is the dumbest comment I can think of. There are about five billion blonde jokes out there…..get over yourselves for fuck’s sake.

  68. Anonymous says:

    You sir are a douchebag for getting so offended, this article is so true its not even funny, except the author left out the part of the frat guy’s brain where he will rape a girl any chance he gets

  69. Anonymous says:

    It’s a stupid picture. I’m in a fraternity and i looked at the picture, it made me laugh for a second and that’s it. I can’t believe there are that many of you who seem to have problems with fraternities. People join fraternities because they want to be around like-minded people, who enjoy hanging out together. There are a lot of stupid people in this world and its true, some of those people do join fraternities, but you can’t let a few rotten apples spoil the whole bunch. It’s narrow minded to think that all fraternity members want to do is drink and get with girls. My fraternity does a lot of work on campus and have raised a lot of money for an organization to find a cure for Alzheimers. Now for the people who feel its nothing but a waist of time, that’s ok for you to think that, you’re entitled to your opinion, but is it really fair to knock something that you don’t fully understand?

  70. Anonymous says:

    some frats are full of worthless tools and others are cool as hell, you can’t judge something that widespread, just like you can’t judge non-frat members

  71. Anonymous says:

    In case you have never been part of a real world with intelligent people who are worth speaking to, then I will be more than happy to point out that using “y’all” completely discredits you as a stereotypical redneck who is married to his mom and is about to be the father of his new brother or sister.

  72. Anonymous says:

    troll

  73. Anonymous says:

    hahahaa, this is hilarious. it forgot to mention the exact angle the collar gets popped, haha.

    and yes, i was in a frat.

    now i will continue to lift 180 lbs with my johnson

  74. Anonymous says:

    I’m going to start out by saying that this entire page is filled with, and based off of, trolling, but I will go along with it. I am not in a fraternity but my best friend is. When he gets out of college he has a job lined up for him with a six figure salary. Joining a fraternity is not simply paying for friends. He has openly told me, when asked about the topic, that there are brothers who have flat out never paid dues but never have been kicked out either. There is a difference between frat boys and fraternity men, as stated earlier. And if you do any research you can see that the greek system does a lot more good for the communities they are parts of than they do wrong. It is complete hypocritical bullshit for GOD DAMN INDEPENDENTS to condemn all greeks when it is those same GDI’s that go to “frat” parties and support the houses by giving up their money for a chance at some pussy because they are not invited to any other parties or social events.

  75. Anonymous says:

    homo. then life gets real. then daddy can’t bail you out of shit at some point.

  76. boredwell says:

    Yo, I can understand that why the artist put “bro” in the amygdala, the most primitive part of the brain. But why “fag?” Surely, this much bro-maligned group deserves a higher ranking! C’mon! When was the last time you heard a bunch of gay dudes signing off with “Later, bros?” That alone proves they are of a higher order.

  77. Anonymous says:

    –Way too serious people: lighten-up! Life’s too short.

  78. Dorothy Parker says:

    chill Douche.

  79. Anonymous says:

    Amen!

  80. Anonymous says:

    Dude…bottom line, I am fucking the chicks you GDI’s wished you were fucking. Frat bashers are losers who couldn’t get in and got beat up ALL THE TIME…frats are for those who are willing to sacrifice more than pussies who want to just be accepted. Don’t hate the Frat…pay your way in and get our left overs…..

  81. Anonymous says:

    shut it, bimbo.

  82. notadouche says:

    haha this made my day

  83. this guy im responding to is a pussy says:

    Grow a pair loser its a joke and its based off of truth haha you are such a sensitive little sweetheart, lol “Frat Men” haha ok “dawg” what a tina.

  84. Anonymous says:

    And a lot of them are like that.

  85. Anonymous says:

    So , do you do all that community good before or after your thinly veiled homosexual rituals and date-rape?

  86. Anonymous says:

    lol nice one!

  87. Anonymous says:

    it’s a f*cking JOKE you stupid tool get your buddy’s dick out of your ass!

  88. Singlutionary says:

    Yall is a totally un-hickish and acceptable way to address the plural “you” in many parts of this great country.

  89. Dorothy Parker says:

    Actually, smackbags, “y’all” is a contraction that is indiginous to the South and is referred to linguistically as a “dialectical constraint” so, that means if you are a native of the South, it’s okay to use it.

    Owned.

  90. Dorothy Parker says:

    brilliant. nailed it perfectly. You should post this on Wikipedia.

  91. Anonymous says:

    what a fagtastic article, douche.

    I’m in a frat and I’d write a scathing critisim, but I have to go bong five beers and rape me some sorostitute.

    BROS UUUUUNIIIIITE!

  92. Anonymous says:

    before

  93. Anonymous says:

    well put

  94. Anonymous says:

    but see, here’s the deal: unlike you, I don’t feel like I have to pay for friends or bang chicks. I can do it for free. Maybe you can too some day! I believe in you man!!

  95. Anonymous says:

    dude, I think somethings wrong with your capslock. You should look into that.

    Fucking douche.

  96. Anonymous says:

    I’ve never been rejected by a frat because I never bid because I thought they were gay…sooo I’m not bitter. Frat’s are just retarded. End of story. So suck a chode?

  97. Anonymous says:

    HERE ARE SOME FACTS YOU ALL SHOULD LEARM AND CANNOT BE ARGUED WIIH

    FRATERNITY MEMBERS DO NOT WEAR HOLLISTER, ABERCROMBIE, OR ANY OTHER GAUDY TRASHY GDI ARTICLE OF CLOTHING

    WE HAVE A GREAT SOCIAL LIFE BECAUSE WE UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE ISMT ALL ABOUT GRADES AND MEETING PEOPL IS FUN AND BENEFICIAL

    GRADES ARE IMPORTANT IF YOU DO NOT MAKE GRADES YOU WILL BE KICKED OUT

    SEX IS GOOD FRAT GUYS GET LAID MORE BECAUS GIRLS UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE INVOLVED AND FUN

    DATE RAPE DOES NOT OCCUR DRUGS ARE FROWNED UPON

    BEER MAKES THINGS BETTER

    GDIS NORMLLY (NOT ALWAYS) HAVE LESS FUN THAN US AND RGRET NOT BEING MORE INVOLVED

    FRAT LIFE DOES NOT MEAN U R WALTHY NOR DOES IT MEAN YOUR PARENTS ARE WEALTHY IN MOST CASES IT IS CHEAPER TO LIVE IN A FRAT THAN A DORM

    FRATS ARE NOT UNIFORM THERE IS A FRAT FOR EVERY PERSONALITY

    HOT GIRLD ARE HOT IT IS NOT DISRESPECTFUL TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT

    FAMILY FUTURES ARE ENCOURAGED

    COLLEGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

    FRAT GUYS ARE NEVER EVER TRENDY…IF EVER IN DOUBT IN ANY ASPECT OF LIFE, THE RULE OF THUMB FOR ANYTHING IS “TRADITIONAL”

    SOME FRATS SUCK BUT YOUR CHANCES ARE BETTER BECAUSE ALL GDIS SUCK

    SAE AT OKLAHOMA STATE IS ONE HELLUVA FRAT

  98. E.C. says:

    I’m in high school and i just visited DU, i was hoping to join a frat, (thinking all that are depicted in movies about frats were bull). I met with some seniors there from frats, and they are the biggest douches i’ve ever met. Instead of talking about the school they talked to each other about how rich they are. Thank you douches, i never plan to join one of those.

  99. Anonymous says:

    I dormed with someone who was in big frat on campus last semester, and his brain is identical to the one shown above.

  100. Anonymous says:

    the bottom line is that college students as a whole love to party, get laid, have lots of friends, experience as much as they can, and then go on to be successful in life. I am the president of a fraternity and here are some simple facts: We do party, we do love girls, we are extremely explicit on the manner in which girls are treated i.e. as ladies and persons of high esteem, our cumulative house gpa is nearly .8 higher than the average gpa for men at the university and has been so for at least five consecutive semesters, our house was founded as an academic literary society, the academic standards of the house are in fact higher than those of the university and academics is one of our main concerns, in my state more successful persons have been generated in my house and greek row as a whole than any other organization and i’m talking governors mayors ceo’s lawyers doctors professors deans religious leaders etc. It is absolutely astounding to me how so many young, intelligent people can stereotype an entire academic demagraphic based on “animal house” or the decadent and uncharacteristic fraternity that is their only experience of greek life. Are there some bad ones out there? yeah there are, but by and large the vast majority of fraternities are value based academic organizations that greatly benefit their schools and communities. For those of you who are nay-sayers out there i would encourage you to at the very least educate yourselves on the topic before taking such an aggressive, naive, and narrow-minded stance. My best wishes to all

  101. Dave says:

    Wrong. Average CEO earns over 400 times that of the average worker. The average worker didn’t get that bailout money. Greek or not the common man got raped, we stopped buying their shit so they got the government to take it anyways

  102. Anonymous says:

    Dave you are an idiot. Know one above said anything about bailout.

    The common man is just as responsible as the executives. It was greed all around. The common man got raped because he was out shopping on numerous credit cards and buying houses they couldn’t afford.

  103. Anonymous says:

    Actually, no ATO is complete to blame for America’s crisis.

  104. Anonymous says:

    You should put in here that some of them get butt hurt and offended.

  105. Anonymous says:

    you knew much more?

  106. Anonymous says:

    Yea its hilarious because at the college I attended the average GPA for fraternities was always above the all mens GPA average. As a community our Greek system raised over $100k for charities and some even give out scholarships to kids so they can attend college. But yea we are all just a bunch of drunken womanizing assholes. I guess thats what happens when someone who has never been in a fraternity takes all his knowledge of fraternities from Old School and Animal House. I also knew much more engineers and management majors in the Greek system than independents, and both are ranked very highly in the country.

  107. TinyTank says:

    This was pretty funny, but I’d have to say this is NOT limited to frat guys. This could be extended to the following groups:

    - High school jock
    - Semi drunk guy at popular nightclub
    - Drunk guy at office party
    - White trust fund kid
    - ANYONE who thinks a backwards baseball is an acceptable fashion statement

    The frat guys I personally knew didn’t fit this mold, and were more the ladder climbing, pre-Facebook, networking types in business or political science and had a lot of charity work under their belt, but then again, I wasn’t going around looking to be friends with a bunch of rapey douchebags.

    From what I know, this is more the behavior of frat boys at party schools.

  108. stephen says:

    agree

  109. Dave says:

    Of course, you can buy anything you want in this country! Duh.

  110. Anonymous says:

    Word.

  111. Anonymous says:

    your right, if you were going to abbreviate country, it would be count

  112. Alex says:

    Maybe there was some confusion. George H. W. Bush was in a fraternity (DKE I believe), but George W. Bush was in the Skull and Bones.

    Either way, fraternities have a lot to constructively offer college students. I’m sure there are some terrible ones and terrible people within good ones, but all of the fraternities where I live are a great asset to the community.

  113. Anonymous says:

    You wouldn’t call your country a “cunt”…

  114. Anonymous says:

    Its a fraternity. Bro

  115. Pratik says:

    My cousin is in a fraternity and says it’s disrespectful for me to call it a “frat,” even though he says it all the time. Can anyone explain this?

    If you hang out with a bunch of guys you’re essentially paying to be around, that’s just sad.

  116. BigBen says:

    is your cousin a idiot cause if so that could be the problem.

  117. Anonymous says:

    You don’t pay to hang out with people. You pay for things like insurance, property management, and alumni events. Hardly any money goes to parties. If most of the dues money goes to parties, then that’s just stupid.

  118. Big Frank says:

    You fags should lighten up and slam some natty ice… BRO!

  119. Andoni says:

    thats whats up bro

  120. Anonymous says:

    This is hilarious. I’m in a fraternity, but I won’t deny the usually-true stereotypes.

  121. Anonymous says:

    I’m going to go undercover as a frat. Bro.

  122. Anonymous says:

    To the anonymous fraternity member with the CS degree, I can one up you. I’m a girl, majoring in Information Technology (our CS program is a class short of a math minor which I’m not fond of), and in a sorority. :P

  123. Anonymous says:

    Sadly, it will. These d-bags tend to flock together. It only takes one frat boy to fail their way up, and the whole organization is tainted.

  124. Young Dude says:

    Yeah dude, you totally suck. Just cause you were a shitty friend doesn’t mean that you can blame the fraternity system for your failure to keep friends in college. eat shit asshole.

  125. Anonymous says:

    Your friends ditched you because they shared more experiences with their brothers than with you. And it’s not all bad stuff like getting “dangerously drunk, eat eggs and gross shit till you puke.” It’s hanging out at parties, doing community service, and other stuff like that. They share those experiences which makes their friendship stronger. Everyone has their own place. Fraternities are not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. And yes it is a stereotype, not all fraternities haze. So do some research next time.

  126. Anonymous says:

    Hey, chill out guys. Most frat guys are total broskies. Lame ass broskies. Its a fact. I’m not in a frat, but some of my best friends from freshman year joined frats. They are no longer my friends. It wasn’t my choice, but they became assholes and refuse to be with dudes other then those who jerk them off at the frat house. I’m drawing my conclusions from real life D-bags, NOT comedy movies. And people don’t just create stereotypes for the hell of it. Its based off of something. And don’t worry, letting some of your brothers get you dangerously drunk, eat eggs and gross shit till you puke and make you there bitch for a year is totally going to make you a successful person in the adult world.

  127. Anonymous says:

    Learn your facts R-Tard. Only 8% of college graduates were in Greek Life, yet most of all influential people in our country, like politicians, judges, and the wealthy were in a fraternity. Know your shit before you run your mouth dumbass.

  128. YOUR FUTURE BOSS says:

    Roxy – Well like I said. Not all fraternities are the same! There are bad ones and good ones. But don’t hold all fraternities/ sororities accountable for some students actions. There are plenty of people outside the greek system that cause problems in college! It’s not just the greek system. How much money did you donate to cancer? I bet you didn’t raise over 2 million dollars. lol How many times have you held events for elementary school children. I bet none. That is just a small portion of the community services the greek system contributes to in the city I went to school.

    Also – many influential women in this country are in the greek system. George W. Bush was in Skull and Bones. That is not a Fraternity. It’s a secret society. Maybe you should learn some more about the greek system before you bash it because apparently you don’t know much.

    I have worked overseas in London and many students in the UK are jealous of the opportunities the greek system provides since they do not have one.

  129. TinyTank says:

    The graphic is just a joke. No need to get your panties in a wad.

    Stupidity knows no cultural boundaries, and the sooner you realize that, the better.

  130. roxy says:

    i lived next door to a frat for a year in college, and these geniuses would get drunk every weekend and piss out their window. if that isn’t classy enough – they’d actually be pissing onto their own cars! idiots!

    these are our future leaders? the thought nauseates me.

    oh, and before we start singing praises about how great frats are and how all these people in power were in fraternities, let’s not forget George W. Bush. yes. that’s right. in a frat, was the president, STILL a HUGE IDIOT.

  131. Anonymous says:

    this is how computer nerds mind works

    am i talking ot someone with boobs? ->
    drool and scare them away
    goto the nearest bathroom to spank it
    go find boobs online

    star wars quote generator ->
    “i am your father”
    “use the force”
    “but I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters”

    embellishment ->
    how many programming languages i know
    explain something nobody gives a shit about
    brag about my iq
    talk about how much better i would design everything
    show off trendy apple toys

    who to riducule ->
    frat boys
    dumb people
    athletes
    republicans
    chicks who wouldnt give me the time of day

    words to end the sentence ->
    “ftw”
    “rofl”
    “star wars”
    “pwned”

    -> jerking it to some hentai porn -> beginning

  132. Anonymous says:

    I’m a computer scientist and I can say whole heartily that with few exceptions this is SO true, and I got quite the laugh from reading it.

    But that doesn’t change the fact that Bro-Man-Bros in frats are (with the same few exceptions) exactly as they’re described in the article.

  133. Anonymous says:

    I’m an information security engineer with a CS degree and I was a fraternity guy. Both this comment and the original article made me laugh, but like most things in life there are exceptions. When I wasn’t drinking beer in college, I was doing something completely geek related. I guess both the original article and your comment apply to me (although I never used the word “bro” or any derivative of the word)

  134. Anonymous says:

    This is so great and unintentionally hilarious. Is there any doubt this frat boy doesn’t realize he plugged himself right into the pattern?

  135. TinyTank says:

    Actually, I’d say most computer nerds are Republicans/conservative and definitely don’t like Apple… that’s more of a rich liberal thing.

    And really, Bill Gates’ wife is pretty smoking.

  136. Anonymous says:

    Your frat sounds pretty gay.

  137. Anonymous says:

    its funny you say i’m gay cause i will bet my fucking soul i pull more pussy in one week then you have in your whole lives you naive, unintelligent fucking homos

  138. Anonymous says:

    I think my frat would beat up your frat.

  139. Anonymous says:

    is that with or without roofies?

  140. President Obama agrees... says:

    Supergay

  141. don't judge me says:

    Don’t get mad just because you couldn’t get into a fraternity/sorority when you were in college. You’re probably one of those guys/girls who’s insecure about themselves because they couldn’t get a bid from a house, so all you do is make fun of Greeks to make yourself feel better than them. I think Greek life is a great decision. You get more out college than if you were to not go Greek.

  142. Anonymous says:

    HAHAHA yeah right greeks are soley responsible for the financial crisis. Everyone is just as guilty from the executives to the avg. americans in the working class like yourself buying houses they can’t afford..or trying to make profit in the short term with a potential increase in housing values but housing market burst so everyone was shiz out of luck when they tried to sell the house for profit or they lost their job. Also the lenders are at fault for giving mortgages/credit cards to people who weren’t financially sound. Just a very very basic introduction for you.

    Your Future Boss is right. You all need to stop hating on fraternities.

  143. Anonymous says:

    @ Your Future Boss

    you stated, “Rip on the greek system all you want but the fact is that most of the influential figures in sports, politics, and fortune 500 CEO’s/leaders in this country have been in the greek system.”

    Could this be the reason we are currently in a financial crisis the could rival the great depression? Keep running companies into the ground loser and when you are frat buddies have dried up the working class for all they have, ill be waiting to pistol whip your teeth in, you arrogant Guido, ROFL!!!

  144. Rick says:

    my roomates joining a frat i’m only waiting for him to transform into this.

  145. a tribe called quest says:

    The summer before i went to college people would ask me, “are you going to join a frat?” my response was “i don’t drink.” All of those conversations ended there.

  146. Anonymous says:

    While not all frat boys are bad.. the normal ones don’t get labeled frat boys. There are way, way too many people in the greek system who behave exactly like this. There are far far too many people that go into the greek system because this is what they think it is.

    There were precisely 2 students murdered at our school during my time there. Both were frat members killing other frat members. And everyone involved was completely wasted. And this is at a school with a relatively ‘respectable’ greek system.

    And yes, some people are right – this varies a lot by school. What might be a reputable, decent greek system at one school can be a stereotypical booze and rapefest at another.

    Just because you have an experience, doesn’t mean everyone else will.

  147. Anonymous says:

    Just needed to say. It’s called a fraternity. Not a frat.

  148. Anonymous says:

    I second that! A “frat” is what you see in the movies, basically just a drinking club like you see in “Animal House” or “Old School” for the younger readers. In reality, fraternity men have to do a lot for the school. For one thing, most fraternities have to maintain a certain GPA, usually somewhere between a 2.4 and a 3.0. If it is any lower, the school will punish them or their national council will punish them, like take away funding. In addition to this, fraternities have to do community service, set up a philanthropy, and attend educational seminars. There are a lot of pros to joining a fraternity, but also a lot of cons. Some of the pros: partying (why most people initially join), networking (job for after college), experience (something to put on a resume). Some of the cons: now this is going to sound very “frat-guy-like”, but one of the cons is that GDI’s hate you. Dues money can add up and people will judge you based on their perspective of your house. You’re no longer Jerry from Sigma Pi, you’re just “that-pi-guy.” Not all fraternity people are bad, some are, but not all.

  149. Anonymous says:

    As funny as this is, I’m in a fraternity and none of my brothers are like that. Yea we like to drink and party but thats about it. There are a few chapters here that do act like that, so I guess anyone’s experience is a case by case thing.

    This is pretty funny though.

  150. Anonymous says:

    wow…..

  151. the one who made it up says:

    i actually understood exactly what i was doing jackass. i was pointing out how the author of the article did the EXACT same thing, seeing as how he was “ridiculing” frat boys. it was a statement about the article itself, but i guess thats above and beyond you.

    notice how people got a kick outa what i posted…

    notice how nobody gave a shit what you posted…

    i am an engineer who was also a frat boy. not only can i drink more beer than you, but i can quote star wars while im getting laid.

  152. uh..you ...know says:

    I think every university of southern california caucassion has to pass this this mri to be accepted…and spencer pratt..(dont think he went to college).

  153. uh..you ...know says:

    sdkjgvdigdsg

  154. Fraty guy says:

    Give your vote to prove it wrong Motivational mind work for sex ?

  155. frats are for faggots says:

    heres the real deal with these fucking joke called frats….. they are a waste of money and full of mostly douches….. this article is easily dead on….. all u fucking bitches defending this shit obviously brain washed by ur butt buddies…. so what one out of thousand of yall is succesful shit you can pick out one in a thousand non greek that is succesful… you pay for friends and when you do go to their rush events they hassel you non stop like a dog chasing bacon i know because i was fucking annoyed non stop by these fags (and yes i got bid i just rejected it b/c knew this shit was a waste of time)i have friends that joined that were honor students and when they joined they jus turned into mindless polo wearing fags……they tell you they dont haze not to scare u away but they do (its just a cover up dont fall for it)…..the guys who join are mostly the guys in highschool that had hard time keeping friends or were extremly shy(frats loves these guys b/c they can be easily pressured into joining and doing anything for a friend)trust me if you can make friends w/o paying, party w/o having bitch letter my bad greek letters on you, and keep ur grades up you’ll be good for college and have the time of ur life

    p.s. dont give me that bulllshit about community work b/c any idiot can preform a good deed and donate it doesnt take a polo wearing bitch to do this and most organztions that do good in the community arent headed by greeks jus by normal ppl wanting to do good not fags trying to do it b/c its required by their chapters