Everyone's brain works differently. Here's the journey a thought goes through in a frat guy's brain. Start at "Am I Talking To Someone With Boobs" and work counter-clockwise.
THE "AM I TALKING TO SOMEONE WITH BOOBS" STAGE:
This is the first stage any frat guy's thought goes through. If the answer is no, the thought continues on its full course through the brain. If the answer is yes, then he defaults to a series of scripted phrases that are used solely for the purpose of having sex with the boobed person he is talking to. Some common phrases are:
"I can't believe you wrote a ten-page paper. That's crazy!"
"I got a case of Zima at my parent's summer house."
"You're from [insert name of city/state]. I grew up near there!"
"I eat meat, but I am also a "Vag"-atarian."
"What made you want to major in [insert name of major]."
THE OLD SCHOOL QUOTE GENERATOR:
The process continues as the thought arrives here, where it's checked to see whether or not it can be scrapped, and replaced with a quote from the film "Old School." When confronted with everyday statements such as, "Do we need some more milk," "I'm having dinner with my parents tomorrow," or "What's on TV," the frat guy can (and will) respond with some of these common quotes:
"You're my boy, Blue!"
"We're going streaking!"
"Once it hits your lips! It's so good!"
"Earmuffs!"
THE EMBELLISHMENT STAGE:
Since the frat guy is under constant pressure to one-up his "Bros," every thought must enter the Embellishment Stage. At this point, the thought is "enhanced" with the addition of sexual conquest numbers or amount of alcohol intake to make tthis thought more appealing to its audience. An example:
Original Thought:
During Christmas, I saw a woman I went to high school with.
After It Has Gone Through The Embellishment Lobe:
When I went back home, I saw this big-tittied chick that I boned right after our homecoming game when I ran over this 265 pound black dude to score the winning TD. I had, like, 30 brew-dawgs that night, too.
THE "WHO TO RIDICULE" STAGE:
If a frat guy is not currently "boning some slut," getting "totally demolished at keggers," or "partying my face off," then his self-esteem can get dangerously low. At this point, the frat guy feels the need to put down others, which, in his eyes, restores him to his rightful place as Alpha Dog. If a frat guy's ego is fragile when a thought enters this stage, he immediately aborts his current thought and scans the area for possible targets and begins a harsh barrage of insults. Some common examples:
"Hey, look at the nerd. What a stupid nerd."
"Fat girl alert. Three o'clock."
"Yo, why are those Argentinians always hanging out here?"
"Check out those fags, bro. Total fags."
THE "WORDS TO END SENTENCES WITH" STAGE:
No frat guy thought is complete without a one-word description of the person you're speaking with. It can be either be the opposite of that person, e.g. (when leaving after hanging out with a group of friends) "Later, fags." Or it can be an aggressive derrogatory remark meant to engage someone in a possible phsyical altercation (When leaving after hanging out with a group of enemies) "Later, fags.
It's a stupid picture. I'm in a fraternity and i looked at the picture, it made me laugh for a second and that's it. I can't believe there are that many of you who seem to have problems with fraternities. People join fraternities because they want to be around like-minded people, who enjoy hanging out together. There are a lot of stupid people in this world and its true, some of those people do join fraternities, but you can't let a few rotten apples spoil the whole bunch. It's narrow minded to think that all fraternity members want to do is drink and get with girls. My fraternity does a lot of work on campus and have raised a lot of money for an organization to find a cure for Alzheimers. Now for the people who feel its nothing but a waist of time, that's ok for you to think that, you're entitled to your opinion, but is it really fair to knock something that you don't fully understand?
I was expecting to laugh, but it's just awkwardly written. I'm in a fraternity and was expecting to see something outrageous (like the "man's remote" picture with two buttons, "sex" and "food". Now THAT is some funny shit), but it feels like the writer was trying too hard to be funny. I'm not saying this stuff isn't true, but it could definitely be more shockingly offensive (hence, funny).
You're both douchebags, but I've been surfing the internet for about half an hour now so I think I can safely say that everybody who exists is a douchebag. Including me for thinking I'm all that by pointing this out.
some frats are full of worthless tools and others are cool as hell, you can't judge something that widespread, just like you can't judge non-frat members
This is perfect. A HUGE majority of frat kids, and others are exactly like this. If anything, college taught me how to avoid hiring and promoting people like this because they're so narrow-minded and short-sighted. Anybody like this (and there are a lot of them) are extremely stupid. They are only capable of stating the obvious and/or asking lame-ass questions. Exactly the kind of shit that lands you in an average job with an average salary with dumbass kids and a shitty marriage.
Yo, I can understand that why the artist put "bro" in the amygdala, the most primitive part of the brain. But why "fag?" Surely, this much bro-maligned group deserves a higher ranking! C'mon! When was the last time you heard a bunch of gay dudes signing off with "Later, bros?" That alone proves they are of a higher order.
-too white to join a real gang
-too insecure/shallow to understand you don't need people to fufill you or have others affirmation to make you feel like a somebody
- like to show how you can pay for having others to do so
-you're spoiled and stepdad/mom is paying for it anyway
-to get a thrill out of doing stupid stuff and knowing you're likely not to get in trouble for it
-can't make your own friends pass your own exams.
Going greek is nothing bad, it can be if you let it but it can also be positive. I joined a sorority and i learned how to manage time, money (like bills, because i lived in the house, and the whole time i kept a full time job and took 5 classes a semester and didnt fail 1. I am now in my junior year of college and am graduating a semester early. Its all on how the person decides to get out of it. AND alot of times being in a fraternity or sorority canh help get jobs because of connections.
#1: If you wouldn't call your country a cunt, then don't refer to a fraternity as a frat.
#2 The majority of these people commenting are gdi's who were deemed unworthy of a bid, even by the lower tier houses that blanket bid. Since you're not part of a fraternity, and thus not invited to parties, formals, etc your fragile ego is imbued with feelings of envy and self-pity, along with the feeling of being left out or excluded. Hence, your automatic reaction is a defense mechanism that finds any and all stock insults you can hurl at fraternity men.
#3: Everyone in college drinks a shit ton, smokes some herb and tries to get laid. The only difference is that fraternity people are more visible because we roll in larger packs and late night or pre-game at the house, as well as have organized parties there. Being more visible than others makes you a target to be judged as a horny, alcoholic retard who cares more about being intoxicated than going to class.
#4: Greek organizations raise more money for charitable purposes than non-greeks. We also donate more community service hours as well. Furthermore instead of going to class, taking notes and then parroting back the information for four years we actually confront challenges, accept leadership positions and work together. We plan parties, rush events, charity fundraisers, balance the chapter's budget, plan alumni events and other things that gdis cannot do.
I've never been rejected by a frat because I never bid because I thought they were gay...sooo I'm not bitter. Frat's are just retarded. End of story. So suck a chode?
Hahahahaaa frat boys getting all insecure over this. The best one was that the people commenting were "deemed not worthy of a bid". Frats will bid ANYBODY, hence the reason the intelligence/athletic/charisma/etc level of them is so low!
People, it is a fucking joke....get over it. I never joined any "Greek" organizations in college only because I never found it necessary to pay for friends. I knew plenty of people in frats and sororities, and they were fine...I also knew a lot that were complete douchebags and sorostitutes.
What y'all need to understand is that this is an illustration to make people laugh a little, at themselves and others. "It makes it seem like 100% of frat boys are like this" is the dumbest comment I can think of. There are about five billion blonde jokes out there.....get over yourselves for fuck's sake.
In case you have never been part of a real world with intelligent people who are worth speaking to, then I will be more than happy to point out that using "y'all" completely discredits you as a stereotypical redneck who is married to his mom and is about to be the father of his new brother or sister.
Actually, smackbags, "y'all" is a contraction that is indiginous to the South and is referred to linguistically as a "dialectical constraint" so, that means if you are a native of the South, it's okay to use it.
WOW you guys are making too big of a deal about this, i'm in a fraternity and I think the pic is hilarious, and btw all houses and colleges are different, just because the frat boys at your school were douchebags that doesnt mean we all are
I'm going to start out by saying that this entire page is filled with, and based off of, trolling, but I will go along with it. I am not in a fraternity but my best friend is. When he gets out of college he has a job lined up for him with a six figure salary. Joining a fraternity is not simply paying for friends. He has openly told me, when asked about the topic, that there are brothers who have flat out never paid dues but never have been kicked out either. There is a difference between frat boys and fraternity men, as stated earlier. And if you do any research you can see that the greek system does a lot more good for the communities they are parts of than they do wrong. It is complete hypocritical bullshit for GOD DAMN INDEPENDENTS to condemn all greeks when it is those same GDI's that go to "frat" parties and support the houses by giving up their money for a chance at some pussy because they are not invited to any other parties or social events.
now i know the stereotypes aren't for everybody, but the overwhelming majority of frat guys that i know (including 3-4 of my friends) fit the profile and have average/less than average grades. there's this frat douche in some of my EE classes, and he barely squeaks by. once he was in one of my project groups, and instead of meeting with us one Friday, he "had a party he couldn't miss" and fucked some way-too-drunk slut, then bragged about it while we congratulated him for not helping us with the project. and they wear those gay hollister shirts and frayed backwards hats.
IMO, it seems all they care about is "scorin' some pussy" to assert that they're manlier or something, by getting with some drunk finance chick that 100 other guys have plowed.
and just cuz you're in a frat doesn't mean you're the only ones who help the community... at my school, there are countless clubs and service groups that will take anyone who wants to help.
Dude...bottom line, I am fucking the chicks you GDI's wished you were fucking. Frat bashers are losers who couldn't get in and got beat up ALL THE TIME...frats are for those who are willing to sacrifice more than pussies who want to just be accepted. Don't hate the Frat...pay your way in and get our left overs.....
(152 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
It's a stupid picture. I'm in a fraternity and i looked at the picture, it made me laugh for a second and that's it. I can't believe there are that many of you who seem to have problems with fraternities. People join fraternities because they want to be around like-minded people, who enjoy hanging out together. There are a lot of stupid people in this world and its true, some of those people do join fraternities, but you can't let a few rotten apples spoil the whole bunch. It's narrow minded to think that all fraternity members want to do is drink and get with girls. My fraternity does a lot of work on campus and have raised a lot of money for an organization to find a cure for Alzheimers. Now for the people who feel its nothing but a waist of time, that's ok for you to think that, you're entitled to your opinion, but is it really fair to knock something that you don't fully understand?
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:49 pm
waist of time? :)
March 4th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Your not really in a fraternity are ya, stupid? Waist? What the fuck? Did you graduate fourth grade or are you still there?
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I was expecting to laugh, but it's just awkwardly written. I'm in a fraternity and was expecting to see something outrageous (like the "man's remote" picture with two buttons, "sex" and "food". Now THAT is some funny shit), but it feels like the writer was trying too hard to be funny. I'm not saying this stuff isn't true, but it could definitely be more shockingly offensive (hence, funny).
March 3rd, 2009 at 06:18 pm
ya you don't want to TRY TOO HARD do you frat boy? I mean if something requires more than 10 seconds to read then it's probably not funny right?
P.S Try not to hurt yourself while you are trying to figure out whether I am insulting you or agreeing with you here
March 18th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
You're both douchebags, but I've been surfing the internet for about half an hour now so I think I can safely say that everybody who exists is a douchebag. Including me for thinking I'm all that by pointing this out.
March 3rd, 2009 at 01:15 pm
some frats are full of worthless tools and others are cool as hell, you can't judge something that widespread, just like you can't judge non-frat members
March 3rd, 2009 at 01:58 pm
This is perfect. A HUGE majority of frat kids, and others are exactly like this. If anything, college taught me how to avoid hiring and promoting people like this because they're so narrow-minded and short-sighted. Anybody like this (and there are a lot of them) are extremely stupid. They are only capable of stating the obvious and/or asking lame-ass questions. Exactly the kind of shit that lands you in an average job with an average salary with dumbass kids and a shitty marriage.
March 3rd, 2009 at 04:09 pm
Haha that is so refreshing to hear as I enter the job market
March 4th, 2009 at 08:30 pm
Right I'm sure you hire sooooo many people. You're weak and so is your company.
March 3rd, 2009 at 05:58 pm
Yo, thats about as lame as that bitch i banged last night, after drinking like 26 brews. Later fags.
April 18th, 2009 at 02:31 pm
lol nice one!
March 4th, 2009 at 11:10 am
People who say "omg frats aren't like that" should visit stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
March 6th, 2009 at 05:43 pm
Dig it. Ha-ha.
March 6th, 2009 at 09:17 pm
Yo, I can understand that why the artist put "bro" in the amygdala, the most primitive part of the brain. But why "fag?" Surely, this much bro-maligned group deserves a higher ranking! C'mon! When was the last time you heard a bunch of gay dudes signing off with "Later, bros?" That alone proves they are of a higher order.
March 7th, 2009 at 04:28 pm
the reasons people join frats
-too white to join a real gang
-too insecure/shallow to understand you don't need people to fufill you or have others affirmation to make you feel like a somebody
- like to show how you can pay for having others to do so
-you're spoiled and stepdad/mom is paying for it anyway
-to get a thrill out of doing stupid stuff and knowing you're likely not to get in trouble for it
-can't make your own friends pass your own exams.
March 29th, 2009 at 09:21 pm
troll
April 22nd, 2009 at 01:35 pm
brilliant. nailed it perfectly. You should post this on Wikipedia.
March 7th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I don't think I'd want to belong to any group that calls themselves GREEK!
March 7th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Going greek is nothing bad, it can be if you let it but it can also be positive. I joined a sorority and i learned how to manage time, money (like bills, because i lived in the house, and the whole time i kept a full time job and took 5 classes a semester and didnt fail 1. I am now in my junior year of college and am graduating a semester early. Its all on how the person decides to get out of it. AND alot of times being in a fraternity or sorority canh help get jobs because of connections.
March 9th, 2009 at 09:04 am
shut up
April 18th, 2009 at 10:39 am
shut it, bimbo.
March 11th, 2009 at 01:26 am
#1: If you wouldn't call your country a cunt, then don't refer to a fraternity as a frat.
#2 The majority of these people commenting are gdi's who were deemed unworthy of a bid, even by the lower tier houses that blanket bid. Since you're not part of a fraternity, and thus not invited to parties, formals, etc your fragile ego is imbued with feelings of envy and self-pity, along with the feeling of being left out or excluded. Hence, your automatic reaction is a defense mechanism that finds any and all stock insults you can hurl at fraternity men.
#3: Everyone in college drinks a shit ton, smokes some herb and tries to get laid. The only difference is that fraternity people are more visible because we roll in larger packs and late night or pre-game at the house, as well as have organized parties there. Being more visible than others makes you a target to be judged as a horny, alcoholic retard who cares more about being intoxicated than going to class.
#4: Greek organizations raise more money for charitable purposes than non-greeks. We also donate more community service hours as well. Furthermore instead of going to class, taking notes and then parroting back the information for four years we actually confront challenges, accept leadership positions and work together. We plan parties, rush events, charity fundraisers, balance the chapter's budget, plan alumni events and other things that gdis cannot do.
March 18th, 2009 at 05:57 pm
tool-mcbaggins
March 20th, 2009 at 06:06 pm
homo. then life gets real. then daddy can't bail you out of shit at some point.
April 18th, 2009 at 10:39 am
it's a f*cking JOKE you stupid tool get your buddy's dick out of your ass!
June 15th, 2009 at 10:27 am
I've never been rejected by a frat because I never bid because I thought they were gay...sooo I'm not bitter. Frat's are just retarded. End of story. So suck a chode?
March 11th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Hahahahaaa frat boys getting all insecure over this. The best one was that the people commenting were "deemed not worthy of a bid". Frats will bid ANYBODY, hence the reason the intelligence/athletic/charisma/etc level of them is so low!
March 13th, 2009 at 05:44 am
People, it is a fucking joke....get over it. I never joined any "Greek" organizations in college only because I never found it necessary to pay for friends. I knew plenty of people in frats and sororities, and they were fine...I also knew a lot that were complete douchebags and sorostitutes.
What y'all need to understand is that this is an illustration to make people laugh a little, at themselves and others. "It makes it seem like 100% of frat boys are like this" is the dumbest comment I can think of. There are about five billion blonde jokes out there.....get over yourselves for fuck's sake.
March 29th, 2009 at 09:30 pm
In case you have never been part of a real world with intelligent people who are worth speaking to, then I will be more than happy to point out that using "y'all" completely discredits you as a stereotypical redneck who is married to his mom and is about to be the father of his new brother or sister.
April 19th, 2009 at 05:21 pm
Yall is a totally un-hickish and acceptable way to address the plural "you" in many parts of this great country.
April 22nd, 2009 at 01:34 pm
Actually, smackbags, "y'all" is a contraction that is indiginous to the South and is referred to linguistically as a "dialectical constraint" so, that means if you are a native of the South, it's okay to use it.
Owned.
March 17th, 2009 at 02:29 pm
WOW you guys are making too big of a deal about this, i'm in a fraternity and I think the pic is hilarious, and btw all houses and colleges are different, just because the frat boys at your school were douchebags that doesnt mean we all are
March 29th, 2009 at 09:49 pm
I'm going to start out by saying that this entire page is filled with, and based off of, trolling, but I will go along with it. I am not in a fraternity but my best friend is. When he gets out of college he has a job lined up for him with a six figure salary. Joining a fraternity is not simply paying for friends. He has openly told me, when asked about the topic, that there are brothers who have flat out never paid dues but never have been kicked out either. There is a difference between frat boys and fraternity men, as stated earlier. And if you do any research you can see that the greek system does a lot more good for the communities they are parts of than they do wrong. It is complete hypocritical bullshit for GOD DAMN INDEPENDENTS to condemn all greeks when it is those same GDI's that go to "frat" parties and support the houses by giving up their money for a chance at some pussy because they are not invited to any other parties or social events.
April 16th, 2009 at 04:11 pm
So , do you do all that community good before or after your thinly veiled homosexual rituals and date-rape?
April 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Amen!
June 13th, 2009 at 12:09 am
before
April 17th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
well played.
April 21st, 2009 at 08:58 pm
Grow a pair loser its a joke and its based off of truth haha you are such a sensitive little sweetheart, lol "Frat Men" haha ok "dawg" what a tina.
April 22nd, 2009 at 01:33 pm
chill Douche.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
now i know the stereotypes aren't for everybody, but the overwhelming majority of frat guys that i know (including 3-4 of my friends) fit the profile and have average/less than average grades. there's this frat douche in some of my EE classes, and he barely squeaks by. once he was in one of my project groups, and instead of meeting with us one Friday, he "had a party he couldn't miss" and fucked some way-too-drunk slut, then bragged about it while we congratulated him for not helping us with the project. and they wear those gay hollister shirts and frayed backwards hats.
IMO, it seems all they care about is "scorin' some pussy" to assert that they're manlier or something, by getting with some drunk finance chick that 100 other guys have plowed.
and just cuz you're in a frat doesn't mean you're the only ones who help the community... at my school, there are countless clubs and service groups that will take anyone who wants to help.
June 13th, 2009 at 12:29 am
HERE ARE SOME FACTS YOU ALL SHOULD LEARM AND CANNOT BE ARGUED WIIH
FRATERNITY MEMBERS DO NOT WEAR HOLLISTER, ABERCROMBIE, OR ANY OTHER GAUDY TRASHY GDI ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
WE HAVE A GREAT SOCIAL LIFE BECAUSE WE UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE ISMT ALL ABOUT GRADES AND MEETING PEOPL IS FUN AND BENEFICIAL
GRADES ARE IMPORTANT IF YOU DO NOT MAKE GRADES YOU WILL BE KICKED OUT
SEX IS GOOD FRAT GUYS GET LAID MORE BECAUS GIRLS UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE INVOLVED AND FUN
DATE RAPE DOES NOT OCCUR DRUGS ARE FROWNED UPON
BEER MAKES THINGS BETTER
GDIS NORMLLY (NOT ALWAYS) HAVE LESS FUN THAN US AND RGRET NOT BEING MORE INVOLVED
FRAT LIFE DOES NOT MEAN U R WALTHY NOR DOES IT MEAN YOUR PARENTS ARE WEALTHY IN MOST CASES IT IS CHEAPER TO LIVE IN A FRAT THAN A DORM
FRATS ARE NOT UNIFORM THERE IS A FRAT FOR EVERY PERSONALITY
HOT GIRLD ARE HOT IT IS NOT DISRESPECTFUL TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT
FAMILY FUTURES ARE ENCOURAGED
COLLEGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN
FRAT GUYS ARE NEVER EVER TRENDY...IF EVER IN DOUBT IN ANY ASPECT OF LIFE, THE RULE OF THUMB FOR ANYTHING IS "TRADITIONAL"
SOME FRATS SUCK BUT YOUR CHANCES ARE BETTER BECAUSE ALL GDIS SUCK
SAE AT OKLAHOMA STATE IS ONE HELLUVA FRAT
June 15th, 2009 at 10:23 am
dude, I think somethings wrong with your capslock. You should look into that.
Fucking douche.
June 13th, 2009 at 12:11 am
well put
April 1st, 2009 at 08:58 am
hahahaa, this is hilarious. it forgot to mention the exact angle the collar gets popped, haha.
and yes, i was in a frat.
now i will continue to lift 180 lbs with my johnson
April 7th, 2009 at 12:24 am
some frats are not like that
April 22nd, 2009 at 07:32 am
And a lot of them are like that.
April 19th, 2009 at 05:40 pm
--Way too serious people: lighten-up! Life's too short.
May 8th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Dude...bottom line, I am fucking the chicks you GDI's wished you were fucking. Frat bashers are losers who couldn't get in and got beat up ALL THE TIME...frats are for those who are willing to sacrifice more than pussies who want to just be accepted. Don't hate the Frat...pay your way in and get our left overs.....
May 12th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
haha this made my day
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