Explore Holy Taco

How Ghetto is Your City?

 A few months ago, we posted a handy equation to help you figure out how white trash your city is.  We didn’t want to overlook all the ghetto cities out there, though,  so we came up with The Ghetto Formula, to help you determine how ghetto your city is:
 
The Procedure
It’s important that ghetto stats for all test cities be collected from the same sources, in order to maintain some level of consistency:
 
# of Cash Advance Stores
This should be obtained from a Google Maps search of "Cash Advance", along with your zip code.  Then scroll to the bottom of the results column and use the total number of search results, which will be a grey number that says "(#) Results".
 
# of Long John Silver’s Restaurants
Utilize the same technique used above.  Search Google Maps for "Long John Silvers" and your zip code, and use the Total Search results number, located at the bottom of the results column. 
 
# of Government Housing Projects
Do a Google Maps search of "Government Housing" with your zip code, then use the Total Search results number, located at the bottom of the results column.
 
# of Pawn Shops
To find the number of Pawn Shops in your town, use the pawn shop locator, which can be found here.  Type in your zip code, and use the total results number.
 
# of Car Thefts per Year
This number can be obtained from crime statistics, which can be found  here. Find your city on the list, double click, then locate the car thefts statistics that the site provides.
 
Population
Population is probably the most important ghetto stat in the entire formula, because a city’s true ghetto-ness must be determined on a per capita basis.  Pull population statistics from Wikipedia by searching the city name, and then using the "Population of Metro Area" number, located in the right-hand column of the page.
 
Preliminary Tests:

 
 

 
 
 
 
Results/Analysis:
Preliminary testing lists our test cities, from least-ghetto to most-ghetto, in this order: Bismark, Portland, St. Louis, Baltimore, Phoenix, Memphis.  The formula seems to yield some degree of accuracy.  Bismark is not all that ghetto, and neither is Portland.  Phoenix and Memphis, on the other hand, are incredibly ghetto. There are a few variables that came into play, and may have skewed our results slightly:   
 
St. Louis is pretty ghetto, and we would’ve expected it to score higher. However, according to our data sources, St. Louis does not have many government housing developments or cash advance places.  This can likely be blamed on semantics.  It’s possible that St. Louis does have housing projects, but maybe they call them something different.  Hell, they put weird cheese on their pizza there, so who knows what else is f*cked up about St. Louis? 
 
Phoenix boasts the highest car-theft rate in the country.  This is most probably because it’s so close to the Mexican border, and it’s so boring that people will do anything to get a way out of Phoenix.  This grotesquely high number of car thefts may likely have contributed to Phoenix’s inaccurate placement above Baltimore, because Baltimore is pretty ghetto.  Haven’t you seen The Wire? Geeze.
 
Conclusion:
The Ghetto Formula seems to work in a general way, but it can easily be thrown off by fairly simple obstacles (i.e. – the regionality of Long John Silver’s, regional semantics re: government housing projects and cash advance stores).  Accuracy could be improved by adding more ghetto stats such as furniture places, liquor stores, burglaries per year, etc.
 
International Tests:
Just for fun, we’ve decided to apply the Ghetto Formula to Calgary and London, to see how it holds up on an international level:  
 
 
 
As you can see, many elements of the Ghetto Formula are less applicable internationally.  For example, there are no Cash Advance places or Long John Silver’s outside of the U.S. (sucks for you, The Rest of the World!).  Also, government housing projects probably have a different name in Canada and England. It’s probably something wacky too, like "the Queen’s Bum Huts" 
or something.  The results are clearly less accurate, but this still seems generally reflective of the ghetto-ness of Calgary and London.  It’s also important to note that, while London’s ghetto stats are all very high, its equally large population helps to lower its overall score.  See, London? Having a city that’s more crowded than an Asian water park does have its advantages after all. 
 
Next Steps:
More testing of both U.S. and International cities is required.  New ghetto stats should also be pursued.
 

52 Responses to "How Ghetto is Your City?"

  1. vietnams cabrera says:

    actually, retard, the last one was how white trash your city is. it even SAYS THAT at the beginning. your city is off the charts, btw.

  2. pyrodwarf says:

    holy hell. San pablo, CA–85190
    i had over 85k hits for gov’t housing, and a pop of only 30k…wtf?

  3. Cowtown rube says:

    In Canada, you have to replace Long John Silver’s with Mary Brown’s Chicken… that shit’s fucking ghetto!

    Thanks for figuring out Calgary, AB for me!

  4. kyle_kylie_kylerson says:

    there should also be a spot to add in the percentage of the population thats black…

  5. Smokey says:

    I live on a reservation , numbers show its not ghetto at all
    and it doesn’t exist according to google

    #of cash advances – 0

    #long john silvers – 0

    #gov’t housing projects – 0

    #pawn shops – 0

    #car thefts – ?¿

  6. m3 says:

    Houston, is pretty ghetto, but we don’t have a lot of Long John Silver’s and we don’t have many housing projects, just a lot of apartment complexes that accept government aid.

  7. atalien says:

    what abouts da ATL! dog?

  8. alex says:

    uniontown pa: 15401 359,044.224

  9. BlackerThanSarge says:

    absolutely forgot the chinese joints and fried chicken joints that serve you through bars…

  10. WAIT A SECOND!! says:

    THIS IS OLD. HOLY TACO HAS POSTED THIS BEFORE!!!!

  11. supermanlymangunowner says:

    forgetting about planned parenthoods

  12. Anonymoosex says:

    #1 test for how ghetto your city is… do the chinese restaurants serve food behind bullet proof glass like at the bank?

    BTW Long John Silvers… they make newbs wear nametags that say “New Seaman On Board” LOL.

  13. supermanlymangunowner says:

    theres no ghetto in new england you waspy fuck

  14. Philosopher Redux says:

    what about number of watermelon and grape soda stands? Or rim shops? This formula lacks some of the basics that the every day negro needs…

  15. douchebag says:

    They didn’t ask for the number of KFC’s or Pop Eye’s.

  16. douchebag says:

    Fresno—-1192 Ghetto Rating

    I know that the pawn shop search is wrong for my hometown.

    The Cash Advance search listed all of the cash advance places that were within 1 hour driving time.

    The projects search is way off! it lists all of the county and city government offices- each phone # listed is an additional match for the search, and they listed all the “projects” in cities an hour away.

    What screws us is the # of stolen cars (5,661) for our population (500,017).

  17. Anonamoose says:

    So this is how white people determine whats ghetto.

  18. Ty says:

    I don’t have a city, how fukin ghetto is that ?

  19. lamb says:

    C’mon now, we just went 9 whole days without a murder! Baltimore is nothing but pawn shops, KFC’s, and the ghetto kind:)

  20. Gordie says:

    Columbia, SC 29201 – 2,721 I thought it would be higher, to be honest

  21. Eat the rich says:

    Cleveland OH 44124-1,188,896 mainly because of 5025 government housing projects

  22. JP says:

    Try Spartanburg SC
    10
    3
    14
    9
    344

    39468/1000000

    Ghetto score 1574

    beat that

  23. Phil says:

    28644 West Allis, WI there is a reason they call it Dirty Stallis

  24. Brooklyn says:

    BedStuy/Clinton Hill Brooklyn 11205
    CA: 9091/10 =909.1
    LJS: 7
    GHP: 127,580 (holy shit!)
    PS: 55
    CTPY: (for NY,NY) 23,628/10 …/5 to get one of the five boroughs=472.56

    /2.556 POP

    ghetto score=50,478

  25. BDBDBD says:

    “Government Housing Project” near Worcester Mass came up with 5900 results on Google Maps.

    That would score Worcester at about 35,000 on the ghetto meter. The city only has 175,000 people in it.

    Holy Effing Hell…

  26. Gina says:

    hey, fuck you in the a…We have WAY more than 13 pawn shops in Baltimore. Just sayin’

  27. kingdingaling says:

    try EAST OAKLAND CA. the newspapers call my neighborhood the “killing fields”

  28. ben stuplisberger says:

    Toledo, OH

    Final Score = 1270

    I live in probably the most ghetto city in America.

  29. Duck & Cover says:

    Baltimore doesn’t have more than a million people living in it either! (try under 650,000) this equation = about on par for Baltimore city public schools, actually

  30. LDN, UK says:

    For London, you can change:
    Cash Advances to Cash Converters
    and
    Long John Silver’s to Perfect Fried Chicken

  31. Massattack says:

    no ghetto in new england? really? speak for youself vermont boy. in MA u got boston, brokton, worcester, and springfield….north of mass u all r living wit the fukin trees. just cus u dnt c the cities dnt mean they aint ther.

  32. Sacramento CA – 585 (pretty f*cking ghetto)

    captcha: convicted snails

  33. EMATIC says:

    sheeeiiiiiit im from north philly, aint too many place in america more run down that us, probly not anywhere in the U.S., on just about every other corner we have chinese stores that serve food thru bullet proof glass, we prob have over a thousand stores like that, the majority of philly is tore up worse than any other i been, we have one of the highest murder rates, and our ghettos are very poor and many people live in poverty, im one of the only white people in the neighborhood where i grew up (strawberry mansion)yall can google it, and if u wanna see what it looks like go to google maps and take a look, yall would be amazed that humans actually live in this enviroment, the shit i seen and been thru growing up there is inconceivable to the average american for sure

  34. xmasbby says:

    Clearly you’ve never been to St. Louis.

  35. The Colombia says:

    Hartford is Top 25 highest crime area in US. I live in Hartford…. ITS GHETTO!

  36. Bilbo Effing Baggins says:

    LOL…you should also add to the list # of white contractor vans, or # of maids/house-cleaning services. Also, you should add WalMart to the K-marts list. Friggin’ awesome!!

  37. LASERS says:

    hahahaah perfect stats to start a how beaner is your city formula.

  38. John says:

    Can you do a “How Beaner is Your City?” one next? Here are a few variables to get you started:

    - # of taco trucks
    - # of latin music stations
    - # of schools (think lower = more beaned out)
    - # of K-Marts
    - # of window tinting shops
    - # police reports of noise disturbance
    - Domestic violence occurance

  39. kyle_kylie_kylerson says:

    there should be a spot to add in what percentage of the population is black… then multiply that amount by 2…

  40. alice says:

    In England, they called Council Flats and Housing Estates.

  41. supermanlymangunowner says:

    brick city !

  42. BrutalDeluxe says:

    Newark, NJ – 2146

    I had to use the Essex County, NJ population because the metro area included NYC and would have brought the rate down to about 90. But anybody in NJ will vouch that Newark is extremely ghetto.

  43. Ghetto Boy says:

    Newark is mad ghetto. Don’t forget Rahway, Paterson, Irvington, and Camden

  44. Maldito Mexicano says:

    Yeah, actually LA would get a higher score than Mexico City!!

  45. Trevor says:

    Hahaha “how beaner is your city?”

    Orange County and LA would be like #1 and #2 for sure

  46. Sam says:

    Where did you get the 12 million pop. figure for London from? It’s no more then 7.5/8 at the most..

  47. lost in a vagina says:

    how about hartford ct

  48. Old Gregg says:

    I want to see Philly’s score but I’m too lazy to do it myself.

  49. Scoop says:

    Las Vegas, NV — 2,148

  50. TG says:

    I went through all of that to then scroll down and see Portland was already done for me. Fuck yeah #1

  51. Joe says:

    Philly is ghetto,no stats needed.

  52. lazyaboutthemath says:

    could somebody calculate Toronto Ontario Canada for me – I can’t get a handle on this I know I am off on my numbers:

    4,222 cash advances/10
    2 Long John Silvers
    4,614 government housing (including the project I happen to live in ;)
    607 pawn shops
    10,000 car thefts/10

    6645.5
    pop: 2.5 million

    sooo…2658.2

    thats pretty ghetto I guess… should include gangs: how many do you have in your neighbourhood? graffiti per square inch? sex workers along you street. shootings? number of Food Basics and No Frills in the neighbourhood?