Humans naturally outgrow things: sweaters, our fascination with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series, and even social networking sites like Facebook. Luckily, there are a few simple signs to look for in order to determine if it's time for you to give up on your facebook life:
Sign #1: Your Mom Friend Requests You
Once your mom is on facebook, you can forget about posting any of your awesome party pics to show everyone how cool you are in real life. Instead, the only pictures you can post from now on are pictures of you and your adorable nephews from Thanksgiving. The only person who will think these are cool is your mom, and she'll make sure you know that she approves by commenting on every one of them with something like "you look so cute!" or "you've grown up so fast!" This means that you will never get laid as a result of your profile ever again, and that used to happen all the time...right?
Sign #2: All of Your Wall Posts Have To Do With Farmville
If most of your wall posts have to do with your stunning successes in Farmville, then you're no longer participating in online social networking. You're playing a lame online videogame that's basically a really boring version of Rollercoaster Tycoon, and you're posting your score way more often than anyone cares to see it. Stop doing that.
Sign #3: Your Boss Friend Requests You
Say goodbye to bitching about your shitty job in your status updates, because once your boss is a facebook friend, that's grounds for your ass getting fired. Unfortunately, you can't just not accept your boss as a facebook friend, either, because that's just a non-direct way of saying "I bitch about my shitty job in my status updates, and I don't want you to see them", which is grounds for him getting pissed off and finding some stupid-ass reason to fire you. It's a losing situation no matter how you slice it.
Sign #4: Nobody Posted a Happy Birthday Message On Your Wall
Facebook automatically reminds people that it's your birthday, so if people still don't wish you a happy birthday, then they either hate you, or they don't think you check your facebook often enough to make it worth the time. If that's the case, then the rest of the world already knows that you're facebook days are over, so maybe it's time for you to catch up, face reality, and be a twitter-only kind of guy.
Sign #5: You Forgot Your Login Info
Sometimes your browser cache refreshes itself. Maybe you had to do this manually, because your girlfriend suspects you of looking at some really freaky porn. Whatever the reason, it's possible that your computer doesn't remember your facebook password like it usually does. If you don't remember it either, then it's probably time for you and facebook to amicably part ways. Would you continue dating a hot chick if you didn't remember her name? Okay, maybe that was a bad example, but you get the point.
Jamie, I'm so sorry, I had my DNA genetically altered to resemble that of garbage. If it means anything, I chose Hefty, just like we always joked about.
Jamie's dad... we are sorry to inform you that your daughter has been brutally raped to death. Footage was found of her on what seems to be her camera. The footage on her camera includes Jamie purposely putting the horse's penis into her anus which ruptured her insides. She was taken to the hospital but she couldn't handle it. The bitch died.
I knew a hot club:==== BlackWhiteCupid.com ==== which is a dating service for whites and blacks to find their interracial love.Hot and sexy.maybe you will like it.
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Ok i'm sorry im making your sandwhich right now....... Then i will be up to pick the cheese off your knob to put in the sarnie............. How does that sound hunny?? Hope you enjoy itx
I am very interested in this hot club. Are there any black sluts that will gobble down my man-naise while I probe their venereal disease-ridden orifice they call a vagina with cucumbers and zucchini?
Twitter
December 9th, 2009 at 04:47 pm
first ya bitches
December 9th, 2009 at 04:58 pm
I'd like it if you wouldn't call me a bitch, mom.
December 10th, 2009 at 08:42 am
You are a good for nothing ungrateful bastard Jamie. You were a mistake. We should have aborted you, bitch!
December 10th, 2009 at 01:56 pm
STOP SCREAMING AT THE BOY! YOU'RE THE REASON I'M DRUNK, WOMAN!
December 10th, 2009 at 03:07 pm
Whoever wrote all these Jamie posts: I love you.
December 10th, 2009 at 08:41 pm
Alicia
GET OFF THE DAMNED COMPUTER AND GO TO BED!
HOW MANY F&^KING TIMES DO I HAVE TO CATCH YOU ON HERE FOR THE POINT TO GET ACROSS
December 11th, 2009 at 01:26 am
This Jamie joke has gone on for long enough.
December 11th, 2009 at 03:56 am
IT'S NOT GONE ON LONG NEARLY ENOUGH!!
JAMIE - YOU ARE A TURNIP!
December 11th, 2009 at 09:43 am
Hey Buzz - go find your own name.
December 11th, 2009 at 03:51 pm
Yea, stop the jamie "joke" think about people who actually have families like that. it aint funny
December 12th, 2009 at 06:37 pm
Stop talking and make me a sammich woman.
December 26th, 2009 at 06:02 pm
Don't be such a tightwad, my life-partner and I didn't raise you to be act like that.
December 9th, 2009 at 05:09 pm
JAMIE WTF. Take out the FUCKING Garbage
December 9th, 2009 at 05:28 pm
Thats my boyfriend!
December 10th, 2009 at 03:31 pm
Jamie, I'm so sorry, I had my DNA genetically altered to resemble that of garbage. If it means anything, I chose Hefty, just like we always joked about.
December 10th, 2009 at 06:24 pm
Jamie's dad... we are sorry to inform you that your daughter has been brutally raped to death. Footage was found of her on what seems to be her camera. The footage on her camera includes Jamie purposely putting the horse's penis into her anus which ruptured her insides. She was taken to the hospital but she couldn't handle it. The bitch died.
December 11th, 2009 at 03:55 pm
yea my mom wuz raped. then she had me. then she killed herself. think thats funny??
December 11th, 2009 at 05:55 pm
Yes.
December 11th, 2009 at 08:36 pm
thats so fucked up. burn in hell bitch
December 12th, 2009 at 12:22 am
WOOOoooo Ive come to haunt you
December 14th, 2009 at 01:38 pm
Maria's Dad
LOL i raped your mom
December 9th, 2009 at 05:56 pm
the pain!!!....aaaaggghhh
December 10th, 2009 at 08:43 am
Masterbate with me!
December 10th, 2009 at 04:15 pm
oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh baby!
December 11th, 2009 at 01:55 am
FIND ME A WOMAN!
December 9th, 2009 at 06:04 pm
Worse than mom is your grandmother on FB.
December 9th, 2009 at 06:26 pm
jamie sorry I just stuck it up your girl's butt
December 10th, 2009 at 03:34 pm
That's ok, same sex marriage is legal now in the future and it will soon be up mine!
December 9th, 2009 at 06:34 pm
Sorry Jamie I killed you.
December 9th, 2009 at 07:07 pm
That wont stop me from having lots of dirty fun with you
December 10th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Oh, god. I was all over your acorn shaped cock.
December 9th, 2009 at 07:11 pm
i don't exist
December 10th, 2009 at 06:50 pm
But I doooo!!!!!!!!!
December 9th, 2009 at 07:15 pm
yet somehow we do...
December 9th, 2009 at 07:55 pm
Yea it has.
December 10th, 2009 at 06:08 pm
Who the shiny hell is Jamie?
December 11th, 2009 at 09:25 pm
I'M JAMIE DAMNIT >:O
December 9th, 2009 at 07:59 pm
I knew a hot club:==== BlackWhiteCupid.com ==== which is a dating service for whites and blacks to find their interracial love.Hot and sexy.maybe you will like it.
Share with you~
December 9th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Susan ya whore, how many times do I go-atta tell yas, get o-off the fahking computah and make me a fahking sammich ya whore.
December 10th, 2009 at 04:17 pm
Ok i'm sorry im making your sandwhich right now....... Then i will be up to pick the cheese off your knob to put in the sarnie............. How does that sound hunny?? Hope you enjoy itx
December 9th, 2009 at 08:13 pm
Hello,
I am very interested in this hot club. Are there any black sluts that will gobble down my man-naise while I probe their venereal disease-ridden orifice they call a vagina with cucumbers and zucchini?
December 9th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
haha, man-naise
December 10th, 2009 at 02:44 pm
a lot of stupid fahking comments in here.
February 11th, 2010 at 03:52 am
You people are the reason I'm going to destroy the earth again..... Jesus I need a beer....
December 9th, 2009 at 09:36 pm
jajajaj this was funny !!
December 10th, 2009 at 05:03 am
why spend so much time on facebook when you can be hungting for pussy?
is america a nation of fags?
this is what happens when you elect barak muslim scumbag obama
December 10th, 2009 at 07:52 am
Get back in me you bitch
December 10th, 2009 at 08:49 am
Om nom nom nom?
December 10th, 2009 at 09:29 am
anybody wanna take a shower? it would be... A GAS!
December 10th, 2009 at 09:54 pm
Hitler was one of the centurie's greatest mathematecians he came up with the fibonazi sequence
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