How To Not Get Caught Dealing Drugs On Facebook

According to a recent article in the Washington Post, some cops in Maryland have busted up a huge drug dealing ring using Facebook and other social media outlets. The cops scoured the profile pages of suspected gang members on Facebook, then friend requested them so they could more effectively stalk them. We’re kind of surprised that Facebook was the primary social media site used by these guys. It seems like Myspace would make more sense for a drug dealer, because it’s more like an abandoned building or back alley where one might go to buy drugs. We don’t spend a lot of time dealing with shady drug dealers, but it seems as though you could easily avoid getting caught dealing drugs on Facebook by following a few common sense rules:

Don’t accept friend requests from Cops

If a guy that looks like this sends you a friend request, there’s a really good chance he’s not adding you because he’s a fan of your online-only rap album, or your youtube videos. He’s probably actually a cop.

Don’t post pictures of your sweet stash

Throwing this up on your page is obviously a bad idea. I mean, that’s a pretty epic amount of weed, and it’d probably get a ton of “likes,” but it’s incredibly incriminating. This photo wasn’t from this specific incident, but it’s probably from someone’s myspace, or maybe their family album.

Don’t post pictures of your satisfied customers

Treating your drug business like a legitimate operation is probably important. And what better way to get more people in the door than by using customer testimonials? Well, you can use those testimonials, but maybe let the word spread on a less widely broadcast format, like via text message from a prepaid cell phone that you’ll throw away in a week.

Avoid incriminating status updates

Saying things you may think are coded, may not actually be coded. For example, saying something like “If anyone would like to say high to me, message me for my number.” Worse yet, being blatant about it would be a better selling approach, but it’ll definitely get you caught: “I’ve got drugs for sale if anyone’s interested.”