Explore Holy Taco

How To: Pretend You’re Listening to Your Girlfriend

The world is filled with many interesting shapes and colors, and once in a while it’s just really hard to pay attention to what you’re girlfriend is saying. Here’s some helpful tips to ensure you don’t get yelled at:

1. Blink: Women look you in the eyes when they talk to you. I know, it’s crazy. So, if your eyeballs have glazed over during her recap of the last episode of Grey’s Anatomy, she’ll notice.

2. Nod and Purse Your Lips: You can still enjoy the hilarity of witnessing a dog defecating in the distance behind your lady as well as appear attentive to what she’s saying, simply by nodding your head and pursing your lips. This makes her think you are digesting her comments and forming an articulate response.

3. Listen for Key Words: Words like “hate” and “amazing” allow you to decipher how she’s feeling without knowing what she’s talking about. Then you can reinforce her feelings by responding with “Yes, I hate that as well.”

4. Be a Detective: She’s finished talking and wants to hear your thoughts. You have to be vague, since you have no idea what she just said. But too vague = lonely nights. Give an opinion and follow it up with a question whose answer may give you a clue as to what she’s been discussing. “That’s interesting. What made you think of that?”

7 Responses to "How To: Pretend You’re Listening to Your Girlfriend"

  1. Barry says:

    Holly Taco, how do I get a girlfriend?

  2. FresnoIIElectricboogaloo says:

    How do I not listen AND break up with mine?

  3. dickgrays1 says:

    I find that the best thing to do is to have the last sentence always in your short-term memory. Then, when she says: “you’re not even listening to me,” you can say: “you said that we needed to get a new soap dispenser for the bathroom because the old one leaks.”

  4. polar bear says:

    dude this is gold !

  5. hot and spicy Paris Hilton sex tape exposed

    Recently leaked footage of the new Paris Hilton sex tape

  6. </a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/how-to-pretend-like-youre-listening-to-your-girlfriend/#comment-60147">May 13, 2009 at 9:33 am</a></div> <p>Nice site. Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! Good Site.<br /> I am from Senegal and bad know English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Renault also owns – of nissan, of avtovaz.Officials – general motors looking at building new factory in russia avtovaz last year was effectively taken over by rosoboronexport, the state arms export agency.”</p> <p>Thank you so much for your future answers <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':-(' class='wp-smiley' /> . Dolph.</p> </div> </li> </ol> </div> </div> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <div id="re_ad_300x250"> <!-- begin ad-tag 300x250 --> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"> <script type="text/javascript"> googletag.cmd.push(function () { googletag.display("div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"); }); </script> </div> <!-- end ad tag --> </div> </div> <!-- START OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING TO COPY-PASTE --> <div id="mediaplayer" class="mediaplayer block"> <textarea class="lazyload-right"> <h2 class="heading"> This Street Fight Is So Well Filmed It’s Almost Art </h2> <div class="mediaplayerBox"> <iframe src="//break.com/embed/2655550?embed=1" width="300" height="250" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen frameborder="0"></iframe> </div> </textarea> </div> <!-- END OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING --> </div> <br clear="all" /> </div> <!-- content end --> </div> <div class="footer_wraper"> <div class="footer"> <ul class="network_sites"> <li class="break"><a href="http://www.break.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Videos">Break.com</a></li> <li class="mademan"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/" target="_blank" title="Men's Guide">Made Man</a></li> <li class="gamefront"><a href="http://www.gamefront.com/" target="_blank" title="Game Front">Game Front</a></li> <li class="screenjunkies"><a href="http://www.screenjunkies.com/" target="_blank" title="Movie Reviews">Screen Junkies</a></li> <li class="cagepotato"><a href="http://www.cagepotato.com/" target="_blank" title="MMA News">Cage Potato</a></li> <li class="chickipedia"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/" target="_blank" title="Hot Pictures">Chickipedia</a></li> <li class="holytaco last"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Stuff">Holy Taco</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof _brkPVO == 'undefined') var _brkPVO = 'pe=a&pi=34'; (function() { var brkpv = document.createElement('script'); brkpv.type = 'text/javascript';brkpv.async = true;brkpv.src = 'http://media1.break.com/break/js/lamp/pageview.min.js?v=221'; document.body.appendChild(brkpv); })(); </script> <!--Plugin Missed Schedule 2013.0130.2222 Active - Key Tag: bkytCi8L522P8RbgYIlkQbL6Yz4JDvIWlTlXN5q776Yvq5t7gxkCvB643C7osdFV6--> <!-- Universal Footer --> <script type="text/javascript" data-site-id="HolyTaco" id="js-UniversalFooter"> (function() { var uf = document.createElement('script'), s = document.getElementById('js-UniversalFooter'); uf.type = 'text/javascript'; uf.src = '//cdn.sites.break.com/wp-content/themes/sites.break/universal-footer/UniversalFooter.js'; s.parentNode.insertBefore(uf, s); })(); </script> <div id="tracking" style="height:0px; width:0px; overflow:hidden;"> <!-- Start Comscore Beacon --> <script type="text/javascript"> document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + (document.location.protocol == "https:" ? "https://sb" : "http://b") + ".scorecardresearch.com/beacon.js' %3E%3C/script%3E")); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> COMSCORE.beacon({ c1:2, c2:"4000003", c3:"4000003", c4:escape(window.location.href), c5:"", c6:"", c15:"" }); </script> <noscript><img src="http://b.scorecardresearch.com/b?c1=2&c2=4000003&c3=4000003&c4=&c5=&c6=&c15=&cv=1.3&cj=1" style="display:none" width="0" height="0" alt="" /></noscript> <!-- End Comscore Beacon --> <!-- Start Quantcast tag --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://edge.quantserve.com/quant.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript">_qacct="p-83WcMqNwWwE46";quantserve();</script> <noscript> <a href="http://www.quantcast.com/p-83WcMqNwWwE46" target="_blank"><img src="http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-83WcMqNwWwE46.gif" style="display: none" border="0" height="1" width="1" alt="Quantcast"/></a> </noscript> <!-- End Quantcast tag --> <!-- START Nielsen Online SiteCensus V6.0 --> <!-- COPYRIGHT 2010 Nielsen Online --> <script type="text/javascript"> (function () { var d = new Image(1, 1); d.onerror = d.onload = function () { d.onerror = d.onload = null; }; d.src = ["//secure-us.imrworldwide.com/cgi-bin/m?ci=us-103628h&cg=0&cc=1&si=", escape(window.location.href), "&rp=", escape(document.referrer), "&ts=compact&rnd=", (new Date()).getTime()].join(''); })(); </script> <noscript> <div> <img src="//secure-us.imrworldwide.com/cgi-bin/m?ci=us-103628h&cg=0&cc=1&ts=noscript" width="1" height="1" alt="" /> </div> </noscript> <!-- END Nielsen Online SiteCensus V6.0 --> <!-- BEGIN Google Analytics tracking --> <script type="text/javascript"> var _gaq = _gaq || []; // Google _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-3335426-4']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 1, 'Content Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 2, 'Article Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 3, 'Article Sub-Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 4, 'Trending', '']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageLoadTime']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); </script> <!-- END Google Analytics tracking --> <!-- Blue Kai track tag --> <img height="1" width="1" src="http://tags.bluekai.com/site/4517"> <!-- 1x1 tracking pixels --> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof GA_googleFillSlot != 'undefined') { GA_googleFillSlot("hpto_holytaco_pixel"); GA_googleFillSlot("hpto_holytaco_pixel2"); } </script> <!-- End 1x1 tracking pixels --> <!-- Comment Meebo BRKWP338 <script type="text/javascript"> Meebo('domReady'); </script> --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://tags.crwdcntrl.net/c/835/cc.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">LOTCC.bcp();</script> </div> </body> </html> <!-- Performance optimized by W3 Total Cache. Learn more: http://www.w3-edge.com/wordpress-plugins/ Page Caching using memcached Database Caching 3/13 queries in 0.098 seconds using memcached Object Caching 749/769 objects using memcached Content Delivery Network via cdn2.holytaco.com Served from: www.holytaco.com @ 2018-04-19 23:33:10 by W3 Total Cache -->