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How to Write a Paranormal Activity Sequel

Word has it that Paramount has agreed to a 4th Paranormal Activity movie, possibly because everyone at the studio has been drinking Nighty Night tea all day long and can’t be bothered to come up with something else.  How will they surprise us this time?  They won’t, didn’t you see the last two?  Exact same movie.  Anyway, if you’re looking to make your own Paranormal Activity sequel and score some of that sweet “suckers who pay for anything” cash, follow this handy guide.

Find a “Plot”

Seems easy enough, but remember, you’re dealing with the same people across what will now be four movies that all basically tell the same story.  Except everyone keeps dying in the last 5 minutes.  If you’re up to date, only a couple of family members are still alive and near as we can tell, one of them is possessed.  Plus you have to make all this happen across stationary cameras because, for whatever reason, these people opt to just set up nanny cams rather than do anything productive.  MadLibs ought to get you where you need to go.  Try this!

Expand Your Mildly Creepy Crap

You’ll notice that our heroes/victims will be experiencing all kinds of nouns.  Amongst these are the mildly creepy crap which have thus far padded out three movies into some impressive popularity.  Select a handful of creepy goings ons and sprinkle them liberally throughout your script.

Select Locations

Remember, this is a found footage movie, which is Hollywood’s way of not paying camera operators.  You’ll need to play your cameras in strategic and believable locations.  Like so!

 

The Big Scare

Every one of these movie’s so far has ended with a finale that has more energy than the rest of the movie combined.  It all builds up and blows out in one finale where someone finally dies and demony badness abounds.  So try one of these potential endings.

 

There you have it, an entire Paranormal Activity movie, or several if you’re feeling ambitious.  Have at it, young screenwriter.  You can make magic happen!

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