Srsly Guyz, if you have some semblance of a normal life and you don’t scour celebrity gossip websites twelve hours a day, or follow Amanda Bynes on twitter like we do, then this will be news to you: Amanda Bynes’s dog is missing! The original intent for this article was to analyze Ms. Bynes’s twitter feed and find something we could shit on to feel better about ourselves, but then she lost her Pomeranian, and we’re not monsters.
We know a thing or two about a thing or two about generating attention. So, Ms. Bynes, here is a flyer you can print out and plaster all over the greater Los Angeles area. Please use it, and best of luck to you.