Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and that means you'll probably end up having to watch a chick flick before you get to have sex. So we decided we'd take some popular chick flicks and show you what they might look like if they were made for dudes.
Holy shit, I had not seen that. Apologies to regretful morning, we don't like to partake in doing something that's already been done, but its the internet, and I haven't seen everything on every site.
haha, NO WAY! Where have you been? It's the internet and I HAVE seen it ALL! I can also kick your ass and jump over tall buildings too. Just yesterday I lifted a small train off some old people and kids that were in a burning building. I baddest, smartest, funniest, most knowledgeable person in the universe.
In my Women's Studies at the university, we learned that men like horrors movies most likely because the women get murdered, tortured, and other horrible things. This may be attributed to men's inherent envy and fear of women--their ability to easily express emotions, to bear children, and to establish close female friendships. These traits confuse and alienate men from women; thus, they objectify women to make them less human...easier to deal with a "sub-human," eh, guys...especially if you rape, torture, and murder them in film plots? [Men probably use horror movies as a catharsis for these fears of women, so I'm not implying that all men want to actually DO these things to their female friends and lovers, or any woman.]
sounds like someone had no date for valentine's day. stop being so bitter, get dolled up, and get out there and socialize! Perhaps if you didn't speak of men as objectifyingly ignorant individuals they would pay more attention to you. and get in the kitchen.
Amazing how brilliant those women's studies courses are. So you mean men like to watch horror movies because they secretly fear and hate women? Doggonit, one more mystery solved, by our friends and colleagues in the women's studies department. I'm sure these extraordinary claims were backed by extraordinary evidence, right?
[crickets...]
The only difference between women's studies and real academic disciplines is that no one calls them out when they outrageous statements with no research to back them up.
Horro movies do show the females geting killed alot more, but I think its for the impact. Males get offed in every war, action, and kung fu movie out there. Females get killed in horror. No as far as being envyious of females.... I dont know about all that.
I was with there when you were talking about what they taught you in Women's Studies. But you lost me when you actually agreed with that pseudoscientific chauvinistic bullshit. Are you telling me you actually believe that?
No, in your class you sat and were told this was true. You accepted it, and learned absolutely nothing.
-I know more women that like horror than I do men, and I am male and hate horror. Oh no, your demographics! Incidentally, everyone I know that likes horror watches it because they like to be scared.
-There are plenty of horror films, especially the more modern and influential ones, where there are victims of both genders. Sex sold horror when it was a niche/cult genre; now it is more popular the focus has gone elsewhere.
-Does it strike you as something of a non-sequitur to be writing this on a humour site?
-How about when you see it appear next to the picture links to clearly gender-neutral articles such as "Keyra Augustina's Ass"?
-None of what I said will likely have any effect on you, and you'll feel secure with your "knowledge". What will you do with it? What earthly use is it to you or anyone?
continuing "refusing objectification"...[I knew you were anxious to see what else I had to say]
Society doesn't "allow" men to have these emotional luxuries as women get, as men are continually forced to adhere to the ridiculous "machismo" personality, which is extremely stressful. No wonder the guys get stress-related illnesses at higher rates than women. I doubt these gender stereotypes will ever end, especially as the cycle continues as women fall prey to society's forcing them to become men's fetish. Don't see guys getting nipped and tucked, injecting their lips with poisons, hacking their faces apart to pull the skin tighter, or exposing their scalps to toxis hair dye.
the thing about plastic surgery is that us men honestly don't care enough to do this kind of stuff... we are just to damn lazy and don't care enough. It's not sexist its just the truth.
women are lazy, too...lol...but society continually tells them they HAVE to do these things to be "loved." Take a look at the covers of men magazines, and then look at the covers of women's magazines. Note the differences? The women are always being told ways to "get skinny so he'll look at and love you" in so many words. Men's mags only have headlines that apply to the magazine topics. And even the topics are gender specific! Would you EVER see a men's mag with headlines telling them how to smell good and lose those "love handles" so "she" will love you? And the men's fitness mags are...I'm sorry...only for other men to look at and admire the models' powerful bodies. Women don't look at those magazines...we don't LIKE men that are all blown up with steroids, and men know it and don't care. They do it for other men....
(43 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
February 12th, 2009 at 01:25 pm
slow day today eh?
February 12th, 2009 at 01:41 pm
Yeah, pretty much.
February 12th, 2009 at 01:56 pm
This was badass! I usually hate the mash-ups but these were good
February 12th, 2009 at 02:09 pm
rambo one was arite, made me chuckle
February 12th, 2009 at 02:13 pm
"The No-Look"
AWESOME!
February 12th, 2009 at 02:32 pm
There's actually a porno called Titanic Wang. By far the best porno sound like a real movie name ever.
February 12th, 2009 at 04:33 pm
"Only one thing on Earth should ever come between them."
HA!
February 12th, 2009 at 05:27 pm
"have time time of your death" fucking great!!!!!
February 12th, 2009 at 09:58 pm
He knows the quickest way to a man's heart is with a bullet.
EPIC!
February 12th, 2009 at 09:59 pm
He knows the quickest way to a man's heart... is with a bullet.
EPIC!
February 12th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Hey isn't that creepy guy from Mad Max and Weird Science also in The Golden Child? I think the character's name was Fu?
February 13th, 2009 at 05:23 am
The no look and Titantic ftw.
February 13th, 2009 at 05:25 am
How original lol....Saw something very similar not too long ago.
http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/01/if-chick-flicks-were-re-written-by-guys/
February 13th, 2009 at 09:29 am
Holy shit, I had not seen that. Apologies to regretful morning, we don't like to partake in doing something that's already been done, but its the internet, and I haven't seen everything on every site.
February 13th, 2009 at 09:47 am
haha, NO WAY! Where have you been? It's the internet and I HAVE seen it ALL! I can also kick your ass and jump over tall buildings too. Just yesterday I lifted a small train off some old people and kids that were in a burning building. I baddest, smartest, funniest, most knowledgeable person in the universe.
February 13th, 2009 at 10:13 am
...and tears out your spine.
Oh yes, damn straight i lolled.
February 13th, 2009 at 10:17 am
The No Look...I'm going to definitely check that out. Except I don't know if I can take an hour and a half of Magic in those short shorts.
February 13th, 2009 at 01:52 pm
boring
February 14th, 2009 at 10:41 am
rubbish
February 14th, 2009 at 11:37 am
In my Women's Studies at the university, we learned that men like horrors movies most likely because the women get murdered, tortured, and other horrible things. This may be attributed to men's inherent envy and fear of women--their ability to easily express emotions, to bear children, and to establish close female friendships. These traits confuse and alienate men from women; thus, they objectify women to make them less human...easier to deal with a "sub-human," eh, guys...especially if you rape, torture, and murder them in film plots? [Men probably use horror movies as a catharsis for these fears of women, so I'm not implying that all men want to actually DO these things to their female friends and lovers, or any woman.]
February 16th, 2009 at 06:12 am
sounds like someone had no date for valentine's day. stop being so bitter, get dolled up, and get out there and socialize! Perhaps if you didn't speak of men as objectifyingly ignorant individuals they would pay more attention to you. and get in the kitchen.
February 16th, 2009 at 04:15 pm
Yer bitch make me that potato salad before your ass gets sent down the stairs.
March 13th, 2009 at 05:22 pm
Slap that bitch, because you too can own the same look of satisfaction as i do.
February 18th, 2009 at 06:20 am
Amazing how brilliant those women's studies courses are. So you mean men like to watch horror movies because they secretly fear and hate women? Doggonit, one more mystery solved, by our friends and colleagues in the women's studies department. I'm sure these extraordinary claims were backed by extraordinary evidence, right?
[crickets...]
The only difference between women's studies and real academic disciplines is that no one calls them out when they outrageous statements with no research to back them up.
March 29th, 2009 at 05:13 pm
Horro movies do show the females geting killed alot more, but I think its for the impact. Males get offed in every war, action, and kung fu movie out there. Females get killed in horror. No as far as being envyious of females.... I dont know about all that.
April 13th, 2009 at 06:10 pm
I was with there when you were talking about what they taught you in Women's Studies. But you lost me when you actually agreed with that pseudoscientific chauvinistic bullshit. Are you telling me you actually believe that?
April 15th, 2009 at 01:50 am
No, in your class you sat and were told this was true. You accepted it, and learned absolutely nothing.
-I know more women that like horror than I do men, and I am male and hate horror. Oh no, your demographics! Incidentally, everyone I know that likes horror watches it because they like to be scared.
-There are plenty of horror films, especially the more modern and influential ones, where there are victims of both genders. Sex sold horror when it was a niche/cult genre; now it is more popular the focus has gone elsewhere.
-Does it strike you as something of a non-sequitur to be writing this on a humour site?
-How about when you see it appear next to the picture links to clearly gender-neutral articles such as "Keyra Augustina's Ass"?
-None of what I said will likely have any effect on you, and you'll feel secure with your "knowledge". What will you do with it? What earthly use is it to you or anyone?
February 14th, 2009 at 11:38 am
continuing "refusing objectification"...[I knew you were anxious to see what else I had to say]
Society doesn't "allow" men to have these emotional luxuries as women get, as men are continually forced to adhere to the ridiculous "machismo" personality, which is extremely stressful. No wonder the guys get stress-related illnesses at higher rates than women. I doubt these gender stereotypes will ever end, especially as the cycle continues as women fall prey to society's forcing them to become men's fetish. Don't see guys getting nipped and tucked, injecting their lips with poisons, hacking their faces apart to pull the skin tighter, or exposing their scalps to toxis hair dye.
February 14th, 2009 at 02:45 pm
the thing about plastic surgery is that us men honestly don't care enough to do this kind of stuff... we are just to damn lazy and don't care enough. It's not sexist its just the truth.
February 15th, 2009 at 01:03 pm
women are lazy, too...lol...but society continually tells them they HAVE to do these things to be "loved." Take a look at the covers of men magazines, and then look at the covers of women's magazines. Note the differences? The women are always being told ways to "get skinny so he'll look at and love you" in so many words. Men's mags only have headlines that apply to the magazine topics. And even the topics are gender specific! Would you EVER see a men's mag with headlines telling them how to smell good and lose those "love handles" so "she" will love you? And the men's fitness mags are...I'm sorry...only for other men to look at and admire the models' powerful bodies. Women don't look at those magazines...we don't LIKE men that are all blown up with steroids, and men know it and don't care. They do it for other men....
April 6th, 2009 at 01:34 pm
the problem is that you ignore the fact that most body augmentation and steroid use is the result of mental issues (self worth, self image, etc).
April 6th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
The problem is that all of you people analyzing this are fags
April 8th, 2009 at 09:56 am
Amen...
April 8th, 2009 at 09:55 am
Shut your face
February 15th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I like the Predator!!!
February 15th, 2009 at 08:14 am
Now those would be worth watching!!
February 15th, 2009 at 06:37 pm
hi-larious
February 26th, 2009 at 06:11 pm
I would pay to see all those films!
Great choices..especially predator
March 29th, 2009 at 09:16 pm
i'm a chick and i hate the proverbial "chick flicks" and this shit CRACKED ME UP.
the boyfriend and i just laughed at this one really hard... especially the Notting Hill has Eyes one... i HATE hugh grant's stupid gay ass. :)
these were hilarious. good job holytaco!!!
April 6th, 2009 at 01:24 pm
Um, Mike Berryman wasn't in Mad Max. He was in Hills Have Eyes (the original) and Weird Science, and more recently Devil's Rejects.
April 8th, 2009 at 12:50 am
These are all kind of funny but I wish they were Gaussian blurred a little bit more. :(
April 27th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Notting Hill Has Eyes, full of win
November 29th, 2009 at 01:30 pm
original and hilarious... kudos to this blog
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