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If Christmas Presents Were Honest

Every Christmas we’re all forced or guilted or shamed into giving presents that we don’t want to give. Whether it’s for the postman, or the guy three cubicles down from you, or your first born son, Christmas gifts always come with an unspoken message. Here are those messages.


31 Responses to "If Christmas Presents Were Honest"

  1. MikeCr. Jr says:

    Well well, those presents look kinda cool. I wish I will get some like these in my next Christmas.

    Mike at – log splitter for sale

  2. A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund. Money for people.

  3. Pratik says:

    How about giving your boss a card that says “A donation has been made in your name to feed the hungry.*”

    And in small fine print on the bottom, it would say “…starting with me.”

  4. Jeremy says:

    I would absolutely buy that mug for someone.

  5. Jeremy says:

    Also, wow, is it December fnd already?

    Jeremy Says:
    December fnd, 2008 at 03:56 pm

    comment script is broken

  6. Harry Balsagna says:

    A festivus pole would also make a great gift.

  7. Blake says:

    Balogna is the most sensual of the cured meats.

  8. deathburst says:

    That’s awesome!

  9. Anonymous says:


  10. Grace says:

    That was fucking hysterical.

  11. Roc says:

    What about just plain money? “I’m a lazy asshole, take this cash and buy your own fucking present.”

  12. BarbieMkSk says:

    if blowjobs cost this much my boyfriend owes me a whole industry

  13. Sheena says:

    Haha that was awesome

  14. Anonymous #1 says:

    Gimmie things!

  15. FestivousForTheRestOfUs says:

    and now for the feats of strength!

    p.s. is there a problem with this site?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Your mom prefers my pole.

  17. Trek says:

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  18. spanky says:

    You got a phone number barbie?

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  20. ptaeridaktl says:


  21. marblecheshire says:

    My dogs are worried because it is 4 in the morning and I am laughing hysterically. The socks, the gift cards, and the playstation (I am not a gamer so I guessed. Think ole school Nintendo…that’s my speed).

    Need to go to bed. Your site must disappoint me in some way so I can sleep satisfied that I beat you somehow. Can’t explain it, just makes sense to me.

  22. Anonymous says:

    I hope you die from a terrible dissease.

  23. MikeCrabe says:

    Well if I got such christmas presents, I will be happy as a little kid.

    Mike from fitness equipment stores

  24. Anonymous says:

    Everyone in my family got socks this year.

  25. car insurance says:

    Nothing to say.
    car insurance

  26. dead sea salt says:

    PS3 is the best to give some kid

  27. unibet poker says:

    The christmas day is really a moment very special.
    Unibet Poker

  28. Anonymous says:

    A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund…

  29. Anonymous says:

    You’re a fucking douchebag.