G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra comes out in theaters today, and there’s a good chance that this movie is going to be more disappointing than a fat redheaded chick holding a positive preggo test. One of the great things about G.I. Joe is that all of the characters in the G.I. Joe universe have their own specialties and, just like your office co-workers, they span the full spectrum of social stereotypes, from the office gossip to the dude that creeps everyone out. Here’s what the Joes would be doing if they worked in your office:
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I’d fuck my mother for a Klondike bar right now
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Just like your own, eh township?
The movie will be a disaster unless there’s one of two things:
1) Scarlett’s big red frizzy muff
2) the Baroness taking Destro’s huge steel penis up her ass
Preferably both.