Explore Holy Taco

If Gods Were Drafted Like Fantasy Football

With fantasy football right around the corner, we wondered what it would be like if you had to draft your Lord and Savior the same way you drafted your fantasy football team. Can Buddha lead your soul to victory, or is he better suited as your flex player? Our in-depth analysis provides you with all the answers you need.

Other stuff you might like:

These are the most disgusting school lunches

Politicians Have Dirty Names

9 Emoticons rejected by Instant Messenger

Screw ESPN’s “Perfect Quarterback,” this is the “Ultimate Shitty Quarterback”

The 8 Most Awkward Childhood Moments

Exhausted athletes gives the best interviews

5 Amazingly Embarrassing Corporate Songs

It Must Be The Glasses

16 Responses to "If Gods Were Drafted Like Fantasy Football"

  1. BoredQuiz says:

    This is more like religions than gods

  2. Mafiaisco says:

    I am sorry I just remember him taking his 18-0 team to the Super Bowl and the got his shit rocked. And his girlfriend is hot but shit Trent Greens wife is hotter. Seriously google her.

  3. brizzle says:

    Some gods, a couple jokes and…Tom Brady? How is he even topical?

    wtf?

    Guess we know where this writer is from…

    Where is Taoism? Where is Confucianism?

    You chose Tom Brady over real religions? AND you chose Tom Brady over David Beckham (who has many more followers) or Michael Phelps (who really HAS done some amazing things)?

    Lame…

  4. Alec says:

    I was with you until you put tom brady on there. You turned a mildly funny article into a joke. I stopped reading as soon as I saw that you failed to mention their cheating and the fact that they blew the perfect season. If you can’t tell I hate the pats, and if you are trying to write a universally funny article, you should stear clear of sports and politics. Just a tip for free from me to you.

  5. Nick P says:

    Tupac was not muslim by the way

  6. Damian says:

    Yeah, the downside of the Hindu 72 virgins thing is that it’s a bit vague. You’ll either end up with the promised “playboy mansion”, a fat farm, or a small percentage of WOW players.

    And I agree with the posters. Not enough religions to make an effective team with. And I don’t get the Tom Brady thing.

    BTW, I think everyone under-rates Christianity a bit much (not to start anything). They worship someone who can take a beating, and still be a good sport about it; forgiving his opponents and all AFTER the fact. Strength plus charisma? Defying physics and natural law in a (spiritually) legal sense? Get some deli meats, a few barrels of water, and tons of lemon for the fish, and sign him up!!! His father owns the universe as well. Another plus.

  7. jackg says:

    giants are going to lose next week according to outlastfootball.com…

  8. Pratik says:

    I would laugh harder at the DVoN category if the description weren’t so accurate.

  9. Mother Green and Her Killing Machine says:

    The downside to Tom Brady is that he’s a pansy quarterback who blew a perfect season and a superbowl ring by getting unmercilessly ass punked by the giants d-line for 4 plus quarters. That being said, im amazed his dick is big enough for you people to leech on.

  10. Mafiaisco says:

    Seriously Tom Brady? Not even a funny joke. Everyone hates Tom Brady. I didn’t know we are about celebrating losers now.

  11. Dan says:

    Anyone that hates tom brady is retarded and should be put to sleep

  12. Mark says:

    Yeah how could anyone celebrate a loser with 3 super bowl rings, 2 SB MVPs, and THE supermodel girlfriend.

  13. Anonymous says:

    boston suck!

  14. Josh says:

    I can almost bet all my Subway money that those girls aren’t virgins. Not one.

  15. Clyde says:

    I’m going to go with Animism with Mormonism 2nd string. Considering Mother Earth worshipers defense if Scientology’s defense is already taken.

  16. Rat says:

    Xenu is not the god of Scientology, he’s the bad guy, their satan. I guess Hubbard is their god. After all, they claim he didn’t die, he just left his body to go to another planet.