If State Signs Were More Truthful

November 7th, 2008 | 12:57 pm
 
Some state signs don't seem to prepare tourists for the state they're about to enter. So here are some more realistic state signs.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Comments

384 Responses to "If State Signs Were More Truthful"

  1. UCONN Says:

    Welcome to Connecticut - home of the fighting insurance salesmen.

  2. Suzanne Says:

    "Welcome To New Jersey - Where Most Of Our Elected Officials Have Not Been Indicted."

    or

    "Welcome To New Jersey - You'll Have To Pay To Leave"

  3. Sonny Says:

    Welcome to Oklahoma!
    (yer not one a them fags, are ya?)

    Welcome to Oklahoma!
    We've almost joined the 20th Century!

  4. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Montana: No, we are not part of Canada.
    Welcome to Montana: Visitors will be shot on sight!
    Welcome to Montana: Even with no sales tax we can't bring in the tourists.
    Welcome to Montana: More bars per number of people than anywhere in the USA!
    Welcome to Montana: A chicken in every pot and a gun in every hand.
    Welcome to Montana: Stay outta our business!

  5. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Maryland - If you can dream it, we can tax it.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Massachusetts: F-you!

    Welcome to Massachusetts: Don't call us beantown.

    Welcome to Massachusetts: We are better than you!

  7. Anonymous Says:

    North Dakota - Come see our tree.

  8. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to America. I MEAN TEXAS.

  9. Anonymous Says:

    Mississippi...where 13 is middle-aged.

  10. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to West Virginia

    Where'd ya get that fancy 'lectric horse there?

    Origin of the Family Pole

    Leave your shoes, teeth, hygine and good sense at the border

  11. Anonymous Says:

    Kansas: Welcome to Kansas, unless you were born here, you'll hate it

  12. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Massachusetts. We're not New York and we're bitter about it.

  13. Anonymous Says:

    Ohio - this is what death is like

  14. Anonymous Says:

    Maine's - Vermont's Sexy but sluttish and Inbred sister

    Ohio - this is what death is like

    Louisiana - Grow gills or move to Alabama

    Michigan - Spot the intellectual. He's the guy with correctly spelt tattoos.

    Mississippi - We were only following orders, y'hear?

    Illinois - Rednecks, the Mafia and beautiful lakefront views.

    Pennsylvania - And you wonder why Benjamin Franklin moved to Paris?

    Minnesota - Swedish but strangely un-erotic

    Wyoming - A completely square state. What the fuck is THAT about?

    Florida - Speak up, please.

    California - We could come up with a slogan, but you wouldn't be sophisticated enough to understand it.

    Utah - Don't look back JUST DRIVE!!!

    Wisconsin - Not a big state, just big boned.

    New Mexico - That state with the Healthy Green Glow

    Oklahoma - Not so much a state, more an overrated 1940's musical with some good songs in the first act, a really lame second act and a hugely overwritten narrative arc that runs out of steam right after "the farmer and the cowman" and as for that whole freaking ballet sequence, I mean, per-lease.....

    Idaho - the Shallow End of the Gene pool.

    Nevada - Why visit? just mail your cash.

    New York - We could write you a slogan but what the fuck, what are we, a clown, like we fuckin' amuse you? What? What?

    Massachussetts - So, so much better than you...

    Texas - You don't Like Us, We don't Like You.....er, that's kind of it.

    Oregon - California's nice but dull sister

    Washington - California's moody little goth brother up there in the attic.

    Georgia - Sheets changed daily (eyeholes optional).

  15. Caitlin Says:

    Welcome to Michigan: Have you brought jobs with you?
    Welcome to Michigan: 2 parts are better than 1!
    Welcome to Michigan: Don't worry, the weather will be totally different soon.
    Welcome to Michigan: We hunt and we're still totally blue
    Welcome to Michigan: Now serving orange cones year-round

  16. Peanut Says:

    Oklahoma
    Where the men are men, the sheep are scared and the wife ran away with the loon!

  17. Anonymous Says:

    Alaska: We have guns, and we want to be left the f*ck alone.
    Where the weird goes to get away from it all....permanently.
    I haven't seen another human in 10 years, and I don't bathe. Wanna get married?

    Oregon: We drive SUV's, Humvees and we're seriously stoned...stay off the roads!
    Where driving an SUV meets bragging about how green we are.
    Home of the stupidest (but most polite) drivers in the US.
    Mexicans go to California; Californians go here.
    Home of Portland Liberals, Eugene Anarchists, and everybody else is a farmer.
    The question isn't, "are you liberal." The question is, "are you liberal ENOUGH?"
    Where full facial tattoos are normal, but carrying 20 extra pounds will get you burned at the stake.

    Washington: Competing for "Worst Roads in America!"
    We can't fund Education, Roads, or Police, but check out our Parks and Boutique Markets!
    Conquering the world, one cup of coffee at a time!
    Better than Oregon!
    Bringing you Starbucks and Microsoft! Yeah, we're sorry.

    Texas: We imprison our liberals in Austin, to keep them from bothering the rest of us.
    Home of Big Hair!
    Where we go to church 7 days a week, but my 12-year-old daughter wears a push-up bra and a miniskirt.
    Where even cowboys aren't cowboy enough for us.

    Massachusetts: Still have a ghoulish fascination for burning witches!
    We're more historical than you are!
    We do NOT have an inferiority complex!
    The non-filthy-rich need not apply.

    West Virginia: We are NOT inbred: ask my half-sister/aunt!
    Still feuding since 1878!
    Coal miners or the military: those are your career choices!

    Kentucky: Next in our poetry reading: Ode to my gun, my dog, and my belt buckle.
    Celebrating my last two teeth!

    Tennessee: Proud of Elvis, Country music, the Grand Ole Opry, and ....uh....

  18. Anonymous Says:

    Wisconsin: Smell Our Dairy Air

    Eat Cheese Or Die!

  19. Anonymous Says:

    Illinois; your choices are East St. Louis, Corn or Chicago.

  20. farkmore Says:

    Welcome to South Carolina

    Please bring your own white sheet.

  21. Wayne Grabley Says:

    New Jersey: The highway construction state

  22. Montuckian Says:

    Whoa, Whoa, Whoa...

    Montana > The Dakotas.

  23. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to California

    We're not as liberal as you thought!

  24. Anonymous Says:

    Mississippi

    What is a black person?....Oh you mean Niggers!

  25. Anonymous Says:

    Hey you forgot about Pennsylvania. How about...........
    Welcome to PA, May God have mercy on your soul.
    You wanted to keep how much of your paycheck?????????????
    PA, where the pothole is the state animal.
    PA, where we don't know shit from shinola.

  26. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Wisconsin...If you're not constipated when you enter,you will be before you leave.

    Welcome to Missouri- the adult bookstore state

    Welcome to Kentucky-state bird: Muskrat

    Welcome to California-living here is like living in a bowl of cereal.If youre not a fruit or a nut,youre a flake.

    Welcome to Alabama- look at our women,then ask yourself why we can marry farm animals.

  27. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Ohio... If you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes it will change

    Welcome to Ohio... Enough said

    Welcome to Ohio... You must really be desperate

    Welcome to Ohio... Think of us as Michigan south just without the casinos

    and last but not least....

    Welcome to Ohio... Home of the Cleveland Browns!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

  28. Anonymous Says:

    The weather one is an old Michigan saying. Stop pretending to be Michigan.

  29. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to Delaware: Wait... we're actually a state?

    Willkommen to das People's Republic of New Jersey: Ve vill be with you in das moment!

    Welcom to Maryland: The taint of the East Coast.

  30. Anonymous Says:

    There are unacceptable racial slurs in several comments on this page. If they are not removed then this site is invalidated and should be expunged.

  31. Anonymous Says:

    Fuck you, prude.

  32. Anonymous Says:

    Connecticut - New York's Parking Lot

    New Jersey – Don’t breathe in.

    Maryland - New Jersey with more Geese in the weeds (and less dead Italian guys)

    Delaware - Maryland, but less so

    West Virginia - We Believe in the American Family....just not in a good way.

    Tennessee - We got both kinds of music, Country and Shit

    Indiana - The Hoosier State (as in "Who's Yer biological father?")

    Arkansas - The state that gave you Bill Clinton.and we're REALLY sorry...

    Delaware - The state with no slogan

    Alabama - If you can read this, you ain't from round here...

    Kansas – Flat. Real Flat.

    Nebraska - You call it Corn Muffin. We call it Pornography.

    Kentucky – Evolution is just something that happened somewhere else.

    Missouri – Illinois’ drunken embarrassing hick brother.

    North Dakota - The big skies, the buffalo, the majestic sweeping prairies ….oh fuck get me outta here…please god get me outta here.

    South Dakota –It’s me or Canada…jest face it, you ain’t goin’ nowhere, bitch…..

    Colorado – Roseanne got the fuck out ASAP. Enough Said.

    Iowa – So nice it’s sorta creepy.

    Rhode Island – Massachussets’ passive gay boyfriend.

  33. not so anonymous Says:

    where the hell is arizona?

  34. Anonymous Says:

    FLORIDA: OUR HOBBY IS COLLECTING OLD PEOPLE.

  35. Anonymous Says:

    WELCOME TO FLORIDA. PLEASE TAKE YOUR GRANDPARENTS WITH YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE.

  36. Kat Says:

    Welcome to Washington where the weather is as unpredictable as a woman's moodswings while on her period!

  37. Anonymous Says:

    Mississippi

    Americas Third World

  38. Anonymous Says:

    Florida

    Gods Waiting Room

  39. Anonymous Says:

    Michigan>Where even the auto executives drive foreign cars.

    Michigan>Go Amway or go home.

    Michigan>Casinos like Vegas, but the hookers are uglier!

    Michigan> Canada's landfill

    Michigan>Giving the land back to the Indians, one casino at a time.

    Arkansas> It's a cooler name than South Kansas

    Alabama>If you can read this you ain't from Alabama

    Illinois>Even we don't claim Barack Obama.

    Ohio>Vote early, Vote often

    Illinois> Land of Lincoln, man did he make a mistake

    United States>Welcome to new Mexico

    New Mexico>It was only a matter of time.

  40. demar Says:

    Tennessee - The welfare state.

    Tennessee - Se habla espanol?

    Tennessee - Home of the white christian trailer park gun owners club.

  41. Finnkc Says:

    Welcome to Canada - 9/10 Americans can't find it a map.

  42. Anonymous Says:

    Connecticut - We don't know why rich people live here either

  43. Anonymous Says:

    Delaware- The first state. That's all we have to say.

  44. Anonymous Says:

    New Mexico
    You Don't Need a Passport

  45. Anonymous Says:

    hahaha oh I love my Oregon :-)

  46. Anonymous Says:

    welcome to USA were are all ignorant assholes cuz we are.

  47. Ed Magowan Says:

    Welcome to Alabama. Please set your watches back 30 years.

  48. John L. Hamilton Says:

    Only niggers take offense at possible racial slurs...because they're niggers.

  49. brian Says:

    Im from mississippi, so I am offended that there is no sign here to offend me. Anyway, here's my idea

    ''Welcome to Mississippi!
    We Have a river!
    Don't mind the black bodies floating in it..
    They was whistlin' at white women.
    Actually, we're kidding, Mississippi has
    come a long way since the segregationist era.
    We think that you'll find Mississippians to be a
    warm and cordial people, regardless of their
    race. We also have some of the biggest
    and most long-winded road signs in America!
    Nay, the world. Now Quit reading this before
    you run over a pig or something.''

  50. Anonymous Says:

    Welcome to the GREAT state of Mississippi
    Home of the poorest and fattest people in America.
    Poorest because we spend all our money on Shoneys buffets

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