If Your Ex-Girlfriend Is a Dentist, She Will Pull Out Your Teeth

We’ve all been there – we’ve all been in a relationship that came to an end and our heads immediately fill with thoughts of revenge. The acts of revenge are rarely original and memorable. They usually just involve having to make someone call a steam cleaner to remove the fecal stains from their refrigerator.

Anna Mackowiak, a dentist in Poland, just pulled what has to be one of the most horrifying, yet impressive, acts of post-break up revenge you’ll probably hear of any time soon.

Anna had recently broken up with her boyfriend Marek Olszewski. We have no idea why they broke up, but knowing the aftermath, we’re going to assume Marek systematically impregnated every woman Anna had ever met. That’s the only logical explanation for her chosen method of revenge.

Anna is a dentist. Just days after the break up, Marek was feeling a little bit of pain in one of his teeth. Marek, after realizing that he knew a dentist, his recently ex’ed girlfriend, paid Anna a visit to get the tooth checked out.

In an interview with the U.K.’s The Daily Mail, Anna said, “I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions. But when I saw him lying there I just thought, ‘What a bastard.’”

Anna, taking her anger toward her ex several thousand steps too far, administered a gargantuan dose of anesthetic. How much is a gargantuan dose? Enough so that the anesthetic wouldn’t kill Marek, but enough that he wouldn’t wake up as Anna pulled out every single one of his teeth. All of them. The woman didn’t leave a single boney glimmer of white in his head. After that, Anna wrapped his jaw in bandages and simply walked away.

Marek later woke up, presumably to an empty room, and went home. Sure, he thought something had gone wrong, but he didn’t investigate before he left the dental office and drove home. It wasn’t until he got home and he removed the bandages that he realized why he thought something was amiss.

“But when I got home I looked in the mirror and couldn’t f—ing believe it. The b—h had emptied my mouth.”

Marek is going to get implants and he’s going to sue the ever-loving shit out of his ex for medical malpractice. Anna could face three years in jail.

Men, if you have an ex-girlfriend working in a field that you can make some use of, it’s probably best to think about how you guys left things when you broke up. If the answer you come to is “I think she’d rip the teeth from my skull if given the opportunity” then it’s probably best to just let that connection fade away.