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In Defense Of Sopa

What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing lately about sopa? I find it so strange how something as innocuous as sopa can get so many people on the internet so riled up. It’s harmless! It’s nothing but fantastic!

It seems every website I go to has some kind of anti-sopa message on it asking people to sign petitions; I’m assuming to ensure that sopa never sees the light of day.

Honestly people, I just don’t understand what the big deal is about soup? I mean, yeah, I get it: we Hispanics are creepy and scary and a lot of us own beat-up vans that, due to disrepair, move very slowly through neighborhood streets, but that’s no reason to create petitions that have been signed by millions of people, including the heads of many large tech companies (for some reason) like Google, Twitter, Blogger, eBay, PayPal, Youtube, and Yahoo!, in effort to ban sopa, the Spanish word for soup. And that today, Google, Wikipedia, reddit, and hundreds, maybe even thousands, of other sites around the internet are blacking themselves out to show their fervent hatred for Spanish-sounding soup.

chicken noodle soup

Look, I love soup just as much as the next guy, if not more so. So as a Hispanic, I can assure all of you that calling soup “sopa” does not alter the flavor of soup. Call soup sopa doesn’t mean we’re trying to take soup away from anyone and making it our own. We have soups too, and we just happen to call them sopa because it’s a different language that isn’t English. Sopa is not nefarious and it’s not going to change anything and it’s certainly not going to “destroy the internet as we know it” as many people have claimed, which, by the way, is one of the most absurdly illogical statements I’ve ever heard.

Sopa, soup – whatever you call a broth with food chunks in it – there’s just no way it can destroy the internet.

It’s soup!

And I firmly believe that –

Hold on…

Sorry, everyone. My boss is trying to tell me something…


Oh, wow. SOPA, not sopa? Stop Online Piracy Act? A bill in congress that will give massive corporations the ability to censor pretty much anything on the internet if they don’t like it because record companies and movie studios have refused to adapt to a rapidly changing world and would much rather bend the rule of law in their favor than actually have to innovate for the first time in many decades, thus bending themselves to the will of the people?

Oh, well, no. That’s definitely not the same sopa.





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