Inner Monologue Of An Extra During A Party Scene Of A 1980s Film

 

Man, this is so rad.  I heard Tom Selleck was in this movie.  I’m totally going to do coke with him if I see him.  Look at all the foxes on this set.  I bet once the producers see me dancing, they’re totally going to give me a line in the movie.  Then I can quit my bartending gig. Okay, when the director calls action, I’m just going to start dancing, snapping my fingers to the beat while moving my hips side to side without ever actually moving my feet. Wait, I’m not in front of the camera.  What the f*&k, there’s a breakdance battle in this scene? 

 

 

No one said anything about that.  Am I supposed to cheer him on while I dance?  Or should I just dance and not pay attention to him?  Either way, I’m going to have to slowly inch my way towards him, cause that’s where the camera is going to be.  Okay, here we go, action!  Yeah, oh yeah, back and forth, back and forth, keep snapping, keep snapping.  Maybe I should pretend like I’m talking to this chick in front of me, but let me angle myself towards the camera while I do it.  Just mouth the word watermelon over and over, I heard that’s what your supposed to do.    Watermelon, watermelon, back and forth, keep snapping, watermelon, where’s the camera, find the camera, watermelon, back and forth, snapping, oh shit TOM F*&KING SELLECK just walked behind the camera!

 

 

Whoa, he’s so cool looking, way cooler than I thought, shit, I’ve been looking at him the whole time, and not even paying attention to what I’m supposed to be looking at.  I’m sure they’ll yell cut and have us do it again.  Oh, huh, they’re moving on, they’ve got the shot.  Awesome.