When can I eat the food? Why is no one eating it yet, it’s out there, it’s been laid out, and no one’s touching it. Why the f*&k would you put food out on a table, and then not serve it? It’s buffet style, that means I can help myself, right? I’ll just head towards the food, and pick something up and eat it, and it’ll be fine. Okay, here we go, going to just grab a piece of bread and a slice of salami and- OW! WHO THE F&*K PINCHED ME?! My Girlfriend?
What the? Don’t mouth “don’t embarrass me?” It’s not like I pulled my pants down and jacked off on to the fruit platter, I just want to eat a slice of fuggin salami god dammit. Screw that shit, I’m not going to be bossed around by my girlfriend. I’ll show her, I’m going to raise my eyebrows at her, and make a slightly angry face. There, now she knows who’s f-in boss. Jesus Christ, there’s so many old people here.
When I’m old, and my wife is old, am I going to want to f*&k my wife? Cause right now, old people are fuggin gross. Oh, here comes the girl who’s graduating. Do we really have to hug hello? I’ve met you three times, one of which you got wasted and told everyone you liked the taste of semen. Ha, that was hilarious. I’m going to remind my girlfriend about that time. Whoa, DON’T F*&KING PINCH ME!
I once went to a barbecue held by some nutjob religious relatives and they prayed for 15 minutes while the (DELICIOUS!) food just sat there and got cold. I hadn't eaten all day and was starving.
This post reminds me of that time and you can bet that right now I AM FUCKING FURIOUS.
The worst part of these goddamn parties is meeting the other asshole boyfriends for the first time who have to be there too, and then your girlfriend and his girlfriend go off together to say hi to someone and you two are stuck there and everytime he makes small talk I want to tell him to just shut up and look at his beer... I'd rather be punched in the nuts by mike tyson than be in that situation, for christ sake just go out to dinner when you graduate bitch
My girlfriend took me to a birthday party like that a month ago.
All the girls were talking and hanging out, while all the boyfriends who didn't know each other were sitting around by themselves and looking at their watches every two minutes. At least we were at California Pizza Kitchen, so the food didn't suck.
The only guy that had a good time there was this creepy 45 year old dude who was taking pictures of all the girls there. He totally had that "hey can I be your uncle for $30" vibe going on.
Ever go to a party and get stinking drunk only to have the pics posted by the wife of a good buddy post them on Facefuckingbook the next day? Fuck her and fuck my buddy for allowing it, I fucking hate humans in general, at least my dog doesn't know how to operate facebook. I hope the inventors die of fucking rotten colon bowel cancer or something worse.:
Stop using "fuggin". You are completely castrating the beauty of the word "FUCK" which is the "CK" at the end of it. Saying "fuggin" sounds like you just had sinus surgery.
"So, you have a problem with me grabbing a bite to eat before the rest of your family you're trying soooo hard to impress? Why don't we tell them about the load I blew all over your face last night after you finally let me put it in your ass after those 6 Smirnoff Bitchwaters you chugged last night. Oh by the way, you puked all over my leg last night, so I used your childhood transitional item to wipe it off. Kudos"
I went to a party like this once. It was with my ex-girlfriend and she was trying to hook me up with her friend who was having the party. Boring party, boring girl(the situation was just weird from the getgo). My ex and I left early and had some awesome sex! I know that's why she wanted to hook me up with her friend. She just wanted to make hump with me again.
dude i was just at a grad party last week and there were these group of girls that had to have been models or something because they were pretentious, dressed in gucci etc, and were gorgeous. out of my group of friends i was the only one who had the balls to talk to one of them and long story short we knocked boots 4 hours later. and today i was surfing the web and i was right that the girls were models and the blond i hooked up with is a decent actor too.
(31 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 8th, 2009 at 02:49 pm
LOL, so true, so true.
June 8th, 2009 at 02:57 pm
lol
maybe its the weed talking,
but that was hilarious
June 8th, 2009 at 03:00 pm
yeah, gf's friends/family grad parties are true waste of time
the worst is being introduced to relatives of the graduate, give me a fucking blunt so i can just be brain dead for the rest of the 'event'
June 8th, 2009 at 03:00 pm
That's was fuckin funny.
June 8th, 2009 at 03:41 pm
I once went to a barbecue held by some nutjob religious relatives and they prayed for 15 minutes while the (DELICIOUS!) food just sat there and got cold. I hadn't eaten all day and was starving.
This post reminds me of that time and you can bet that right now I AM FUCKING FURIOUS.
http://casualencounters.com/blog/
June 8th, 2009 at 04:03 pm
eh this wasn't true for my experience with being at my girlfriends friends grad party at all
and some of the lines in it were pretty iffy
not very well-written
June 8th, 2009 at 04:14 pm
i love it! this site makes me happy at work
also check out my site
www.craziestpolicereports.com
June 8th, 2009 at 04:28 pm
dump this girl immediately. it will only get worse. yes, i realize she is ficticious.
June 8th, 2009 at 05:42 pm
Yeah, hook up with girl who likes seamen... don't marry her, but hook up with her.
June 8th, 2009 at 07:22 pm
Well said!!!!
June 9th, 2009 at 06:29 am
But first, take her home and fuck that frown off her face. Then dump her grumpy ass . . .
June 9th, 2009 at 04:44 pm
Or just 69 her. Then the frown's a smile.
June 8th, 2009 at 05:13 pm
the pinching! so true!
June 8th, 2009 at 06:21 pm
The worst part of these goddamn parties is meeting the other asshole boyfriends for the first time who have to be there too, and then your girlfriend and his girlfriend go off together to say hi to someone and you two are stuck there and everytime he makes small talk I want to tell him to just shut up and look at his beer... I'd rather be punched in the nuts by mike tyson than be in that situation, for christ sake just go out to dinner when you graduate bitch
June 9th, 2009 at 07:54 pm
My girlfriend took me to a birthday party like that a month ago.
All the girls were talking and hanging out, while all the boyfriends who didn't know each other were sitting around by themselves and looking at their watches every two minutes. At least we were at California Pizza Kitchen, so the food didn't suck.
The only guy that had a good time there was this creepy 45 year old dude who was taking pictures of all the girls there. He totally had that "hey can I be your uncle for $30" vibe going on.
June 8th, 2009 at 07:25 pm
I HAVE FUCKED THAT GIRL IN THE PICTURE!!! I AM 100% DEADLY SERIOUS.
I fucked the old lady too. But I'm most proud of fucking that girl.
June 8th, 2009 at 08:17 pm
Who hasn't fucked her?
June 8th, 2009 at 09:13 pm
Ever go to a party and get stinking drunk only to have the pics posted by the wife of a good buddy post them on Facefuckingbook the next day? Fuck her and fuck my buddy for allowing it, I fucking hate humans in general, at least my dog doesn't know how to operate facebook. I hope the inventors die of fucking rotten colon bowel cancer or something worse.:
June 9th, 2009 at 12:36 am
Why waste your time at her party and join these Hot MILFs now...
June 9th, 2009 at 01:27 am
Stop using "fuggin". You are completely castrating the beauty of the word "FUCK" which is the "CK" at the end of it. Saying "fuggin" sounds like you just had sinus surgery.
June 9th, 2009 at 06:15 am
"So, you have a problem with me grabbing a bite to eat before the rest of your family you're trying soooo hard to impress? Why don't we tell them about the load I blew all over your face last night after you finally let me put it in your ass after those 6 Smirnoff Bitchwaters you chugged last night. Oh by the way, you puked all over my leg last night, so I used your childhood transitional item to wipe it off. Kudos"
June 9th, 2009 at 06:35 am
Jesus, this site gets spammed like none else.
I blame Pauls.
June 9th, 2009 at 08:39 am
I went to a party like this once. It was with my ex-girlfriend and she was trying to hook me up with her friend who was having the party. Boring party, boring girl(the situation was just weird from the getgo). My ex and I left early and had some awesome sex! I know that's why she wanted to hook me up with her friend. She just wanted to make hump with me again.
June 9th, 2009 at 10:04 am
You're only lying to yourself man.
June 9th, 2009 at 10:09 am
dude i was just at a grad party last week and there were these group of girls that had to have been models or something because they were pretentious, dressed in gucci etc, and were gorgeous. out of my group of friends i was the only one who had the balls to talk to one of them and long story short we knocked boots 4 hours later. and today i was surfing the web and i was right that the girls were models and the blond i hooked up with is a decent actor too.
http://tinyurl.com/588taz
June 10th, 2009 at 01:42 pm
Are you sure you hooked up with the blond? Are you sure it wasn't no one?
June 11th, 2009 at 05:24 am
"Blond" with no E? "Actor"? What you've got yourself there is a DUDE.
June 9th, 2009 at 04:45 pm
This was funny! I'm sure most of the jackholes on here, never having had girlfriends, can't relate to it, but this was well written and damn funny.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Have a fun at
Granny young sex flavours
June 13th, 2009 at 03:08 pm
coooo
electronic cigarette
June 24th, 2009 at 04:38 am
eh this wasn't true for my experience with being at my girlfriends friends grad party at all
and some of the lines in it were pretty iffy
not very well-written
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