That’s weird. I thought there would be a bigger line. Okay, focus. When the door opens these eight people are gonna stampede into the store, and I have got to make sure I get one of these new Iphones. It’s the three GS. I think the "S" stands for "solver," cause it solves so many problems! Man, I wonder if everyone here knows it can edit video. I should tell the guy in front of me. Oh, he just told the guy in front of him, who said he knew, then told someone walking past him on the street. Editing video on my iphone is so sweet. Now I can make that feature film I’ve always wanted to make, but haven’t due to the fact that my iPhone didn’t have video. Dammit. I feel like if I hadn’t stopped for that egg mcmuffin on the way and talked to the jamaican guy behind the counter, about how I was going to get an Iphone, I could’ve been sixth in line instead of ninth. He did say he thought it was "Jes, I like, you move to right so I help necks customer" when I told him it has more memory. Speaking of McDonalds, I kinda have to take shit. Okay, how much time do I have until the store opens? 5 minutes. There’s no way this guy behind me is gonna save my place in line.
Okay, 5 minutes is no problem. I’ll just hold it…..oh, god. Gotta think of something else. Ha, the guy who’s first in line has a shirt that has a picture of Chewbacca wearing a Yarmulke and it says "Jewbacca." That guy must get laid all the time.
Yeah. I’m gonna have to take a shit. Okay, don’t panic. Just assess the situation. There’s a coffee shop right next door. I’ll just go in there real quick. Even if this guy won’t save my spot, I’ll still only be 12th in line. Oh, wait. Three more people just came. So I’ll still only be 15th in line. Dammit. 15th? That’s way too far back. I’ll never get an iPhone if I’m 15th. There’s no way they made 15 iPhones! Maybe I can still hold it. How much longer? 4 minutes and 38 seconds? Fuck. I can see the employees in there. I know they’re ready. Just open the fucking door! Oh, shit. I do not want to shit myself in public. Not for the Iphone…..but it’s a 3GS! The S stands for solver! Fuck. Okay, maybe I can relax, and just let it come, and it’ll just be a little bit of shit. Not enough for anyone around me to notice it, and then I can just change before I go in to work. Yeah, that’s perfect. Okay, here goes. I’ll just let it come a little bit and—oh, shit. It’s not a little bit. Yeah. Okay. It’s a full shit. There’s a full shit in my pants now. How long til the store opens? 4 minutes and 15 seconds…….Fuck.