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iStockphoto: The Porno

porno

If you’ve ever found yourself doing a Google image search for something innocuous like “soda” or “donkey punching” you probably stumbled upon a stock photo at least once; one of those pictures with a giant, pain in the ass watermark emblazoned across it from a website that presumes you want the photo so bad you’ll actually pay for it.  You may have also thought it was odd that there’s stock photos for pretty much anything you can search for.  But you’re lucky there are, because now, thanks to prolific stock photographers, we can tell whole, dirty stories in picture form, all with giant, obtrusive watermarks.  Without further ado, it’s the iStockphoto porno.

I am so thirsty!

Mmm, this will contain a beverage of my choosing!

Shit!

Now what am I to do?

Hello, blue collar worker?  I require your grubby assistance.

Right away, ma’am!

Here’s your problem, the lugnut is deployed away from the flux capacitor!

That’s so hot!

Come here you lower middle class hunk!

I left my wallet in my other boobs.  How can I repay you?

For tax purposes, I’ll need to invoice your booty.

Ungh!

Aye papi!

Bears!

Now it’s time to punish you!

Gah!

Cry, bitch!

I am!

FIN

3 Responses to "iStockphoto: The Porno"

  1. Tater says:

    Brilliant. Good job Taco.

  2. DonkeyXote says:

    For tax purposes, I’ll need to invoice your booty.

    hahhahahahahahhaa

  3. booring says:

    thats not funny nor correct. YOU are really not supposed to buy these pictures, and also putting the previews with watermark online is forbidden…