Earlier today we made reference to Jessica Alba becoming a mother, but there’s more to the story. Much more! Actually, there’s not really, I mostly just wanted to let everyone know they named her something stupid. People.com reports:
Jessica Alba and husband Cash Warren have welcomed a baby girl.
Honor Marie Warren was born June 7 in Los Angeles, her rep, Brad Cafarelli, confirms.
Apparently “Honor” was the name that Jessica Alba suggested, and they decided to go with that over Cash Warren’s suggestion of “Ineverhavetoworkagain Marie Warren.”
Three or so years ago, “Cash” (I’m putting his name in quotes because I refuse to recognize that name as real name and not something a frat guy gets nicknamed by his bros after he comes up short when trying to pay a hooker), was a director’s assistant on Fantastic Four, and now he’s not only put his penis inside Jessica Alba, but he’s done so without a condom, married her, and now made a baby with her that will forever link him to her money and success.
Now, my first instinct is to bash the living shit out of him because his douchebaggery seems to be not of this world. Like some kind of alien technology created it or something. But, if you really think about it, his accomplishment is sort of inspiring. Like, I almost feel like they should hire “Cash” to speak to cancer patients and be like “I used to get coffee for the dude who directed Fantastic Four. Fantastic…Four. And now, I impregnated Jessica Alba upon HER request. So the next time your doctor tells you it’s not looking good….you tell him “Cash” says you’re gonna make it.”
Anyway, I have a photo from the delivery room. “Cash” seems very excited.