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Jessica Biel Starts Her Own Blog

When I was offered this job six months ago I thought “Does the world really need another blogger?” The answer was “no.” But then right after I asked myself that, I asked myself “Does the Justin really need a new TV?” The answer to that was “yes.” And the yes to that answer was definitely more emphatic than the no to the other answer, so, here I am. But now, we can add one more blogger, Jessica Biel. People.com reports:

She may still be “getting the lingo down,” but Jessica Biel‘s foray into the blogoshpere was a success! Biel, 26, admits from her trailer that she’s insecure about communicating so publicly but also feels “cooler being an official blogger.”

I like that she admitted she was insecure “from her trailer.” I imagine her hiding behind a couch as a people.com reporter is trying to interview her. Also, what lingo is she talking about? The only word I consistently use is “diarrhea,” and I’m 75% sure that not specific to just blogging.

I love how Jessica Biel thinks it’s “cool” being a blogger.  She obviously wasn’t at the bar I was at last Friday when a group of girls asked me what I did for a living and when I responded with “I’m a blogger,” watched as all three of them immediately faked like they had diarrhea in order to excuse themselves from the conversation.

If I was Jessica Biel and someone said to me “Hey, would you like to start a blog?” I’d respond with “Um, I’m not sure if you know this, but I’m attractive to the opposite sex. So, yeah, no, I’m gonna have to pass on that offer.” If she did have a blog though, I wonder what angle she would take. I mean, there’s sooooo many blogs out there, how do you separate yourself? I’m guessing it might look something like this:

4 Responses to "Jessica Biel Starts Her Own Blog"

  1. Pratik says:

    What’s she want to start a blog for? Don’t most Hollywood types get free attention simply by crashing charity events and feigning apathy and interest for whatever the current trendy cause is? Plus the paparazzi are on these people like diarrhea jokes on Justin’s brain, so it’s not like they aren’t ever voicing their opinions to somebody somewhere.

    But ya… you’d have to be really sad and pathetic to be a fan of a blog only because you think the author is hot.

    “Ohh damn, she’s so hot!! I’m going to read what her opinions are on mortgage rates in the Philippines! Ooohhh, subprime rates… awwww yea… where’s the Kleenex, dammit!?”

    There’s nothing worse than passing out from masturbation and waking up to a screen full of text and no pictures whatsoever. That has to be a 9.5 on the weirdness scale, right below getting turned on by a VCR remote control’s D-Pad.

    Want a real life example of this type of asshattery? Go read the comments on Tila Tequila’s MySpace blog and the comments on her site in general. 80-85% of them are from lonely jackoffs who haven’t touched a girl’s hand in over a year.

    P.S. Thank you Stuff magazine for this incredible addition to humanity. Her albums will be in the Smithsonian one day, I’m sure.

  2. Johnny says:

    Hey, what’s the URL for her blog? She’s hot, I want to hear about her opinions.

  3. Arianarilt says:

    Your site displays incorrectly in Firefox, but content excellent! Thank you for your wise words:)

  4. Jessicagob says:

    Thanks for good post