Jesus Is In Your Cheese Toast

 

Cheese toast, huh. Jesus is now appearing in cheese toast? Why doesn't he ever show up in creme brulee or a beef wellington? Instead, he's always showing up in asshole's shitty pancakes or on a stale tortilla. You'd think the Son of God would enjoy a little upscale dining at least once in a while.

 

I'm just waiting for the day when someone finally sees our Lord and Saviour in one of his shits. I would really like to see some podunk town's evening news run a segment where they show up in some guy's bathroom as he's holding up his holy excrement and explaining to the camera how he's pretty sure that Jesus is in the dump he just took. He would point out the face and the hair and talk about how that smiling Jesus on his shit is a sign from God. And then he would show the tupperware container he keeps next to his bed that's full of his special Jesus shit. And then he would look at his shit and smile, knowing that the Jesus on his shit is smiling back at him. Amen.