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John Mayer Writes Secret Message

So, John Mayer (pictured here with one of many uber-hot chicks he did that proved to me there is no god) has a blog. And apparently on this blog, he writes notes to his fans and stuff and sometimes, he writes notes to chicks he used to bang that are now stalking him. People.com reports:

The 30-year-old singer-songwriter posted a cryptic message on his blog knocking an unnamed ex-girlfriend.

His musings:

Dear Ex Lover,

Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying. I hope this is enough closure for you.

Goodbye

P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.

Mayer insists there are no hidden messages.

Wow, that’s quite a pair of testicles he has to break up with someone through a blog post. Classy move. What the hell does “If you need me, you know how to find me,” mean? Who says crap like that? He’s like Jason Bourne, if Jason Bourne weighed 130 pounds and took one guitar lesson. Anyway, I didn’t believe for a second that there was no hidden messages, so I sent the letter away to be analyzed and after running a few tests, they discovered there was in fact a hidden message. Take a look for yourself. Put together the letters in red, they don’t lie.

7 Responses to "John Mayer Writes Secret Message"

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  3. strazz says:

    you’re retarded
    the article was hilarious
    but john mayer is stevie ray vaughan legacy
    listen to his music that ISN’T on the radio!

  4. Blake Williams says:

    he’s gay and the people who like him suck.

    Is it me or does he look like edward scissor hands in that bottom picture?

  5. HolyTacoIsGay says:

    Wtf is this? One guitar lesson? Are you deaf? I think someone is a little jealous of all the hot vaginas he gets to bang. Strazz is completely right too, he’s one of the, if not, the best new guitarist out right now.

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