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Keeley Hazell Dances In Her Underwear

I think this was originally the concept for Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy” video. I didn’t even know Keeley Hazell was a singer. But then I realized that the equation for a successful singing career looks like this:

T x 120% + HB x 4500% = AS

T = Talent (scale of 1-100)

HB = Hugeness of Boobs (scale of 1-100)

AS = Albums sold (in hundreds)

Thus, using said formula, Sheryl Crow’s equation for her next album would look like this:

(T)90 x 120% + (HB)4 x 4500% = 1,810.8 AS

Whereas Keeley’s equation would be:

(T)4 x 120% + (HB)99 x 4500% = 44,554.8 AS

Special thanks to the folks at M.I.T. for spending the last few weeks on this.

9 Responses to "Keeley Hazell Dances In Her Underwear"

  1. bill says:


  2. justin says:

    Bill, that was a pretty awesome display of sarcasm. Well played.

  3. Big Will says:

    I have seen this chick naked so many times that I am nearly desensatized by her photos.
    I think its time for Keeley to take it up a notch and start filming, some good old fashion porn.
    OOhhh….the rod is moving now!

  4. Ted says:

    Damn it! 4th.

  5. Brian says:

    Fake! Keeley Hazel doesn’t wear underwear

  6. Mr. Balls says:

    I saw that video of her sucking that guys cock. You could tell that she was no stranger to it. I like to imagine that it was my cock being sucked.

  7. mixter says:

    wow, sheryl crow gets a 90 for talent from you?!

  8. Dom says:

    I don’t care what any one says, she makes my ball hair stand up.

  9. oh yes says:

    keeley hazell is the person i would pick if i had the choice of doing any girl on earth. she is so hot no matter what she does. shes also got that level of naughtiness that would make her good in bed