Explore Holy Taco

Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Marry Draft Busts

Despite what you hear, Kim Kardashian did not get married to Subway Sandwich spokesman and part-time football player, Reggie Bush.

Reality star Kim Kardashian, 26, tells Usmagazine.com that she didn’t make it official with NFL running back Reggie Bush, 22, over the weekend in Miami, despite an OK! magazine report.

“It’s not true,” she tells US.  “Not yet!”

Kim Kardashian, listen to me.  This is what will happen if you marry Reggie Bush:

You’ll select Reggie as the first pick to be your husband.  At first he’ll be great, with some really electrifying moments like surprising you on Valentines day with a trip around the world.  Then after a few weeks he’ll start to slow down, and you’ll realize he’s unable to handle the full workload of a husband, even though when you picked him, he assured you that he could be a full-time husband.  Then, after a year, he’ll just flat out not be able to husband at all, let alone husbanding on just third downs, which you thought he’d at least be able to do.  Then he’ll fumble in the last second of a game where you needed the Saints to score to cover the spread and it’ll end up costing you THREE HUNDRED GOD DAMNED DOLLARS!  Sorry, got off track there.

2 Responses to "Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Marry Draft Busts"

  1. THE REALEST says:

    U AINT RITE 4 HIM U N HIM ULGY BABY U R SO STUPID IF U MARRY HIM N U 4 REAL TALK UN YALL BIGGEST FANZ BUT MANE NALL YALL AINT MADE

  2. the one and only bhoo says:

    keep it up bhoo haters always wanta talk that talk but u just made ain’t got him honey always keep a good man regardless of looks